Disqualified

A couple of weeks ago I had one of those days. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? One of THOSE days! I’m not sure if I woke up on the wrong side of the bed or not. I do know that my attitude wasn’t the best. I didn’t feel well physically, emotionally, mentally (pregnancy can do that to you). I had a long list of things on my to-do list that day…and they were things that really needed to be done. I had some stressful situations arise, a lot of interruptions to my agenda and the tension inside of me rose to the point of bursting.

I had done my devotions that morning, but skipped my regular Bible reading. I didn’t take much time (besides some “pop-up” prayers) to pray to my Savior that morning even though I knew I would need his strength and Spirit to accomplish the goals of the day. There was just so much to do you know?!

I had just read and studied a few days before the words of Paul in Hebrews 12...about running the race God has set before us with endurance. Hebrews 12:2 says we do this by “keeping our eyes on Jesus.”

Well, let me tell you the truth here, friends…my eyes were not really set on Jesus this particular day. As the day continued on I felt weak, tired, stressed…and ticked off! I had reached my boiling point. My husband and I ended up in an argument (surprise, surprise). I said some not-so-nice things. So did he. The day only got worse!

My spirit was bitter, angry and not where it should be. I knew it. I came to the end of my day feeling like a complete failure. I felt like I should be disqualified from the whole race!!

I asked myself, “How does a born-again, Spirit-filled Christian get so off track so easily?!” I let my flesh take over…again.

As I took an honest look at the events of the day I realized that I really set myself up for failure that day. I should have set apart my time with the Lord as sacred. I’m pretty sure that if I had started my day more fervently in God’s Word and prayer I wouldn’t have ended up where I did. If I had sought His strength and guidance, focusing on HIS agenda for my day instead of trying to “wing it” on my own, I would have been so much better off. I would have accomplished more…and been a lot nicer to be around in the process.

I was reminded of the weakness of my own flesh and the words in Mark 14:38, “Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body (flesh) is weak.”
That is why I must keep my eyes on Jesus! Only He can help me run this race with endurance. I can not do it on my own. He doesn’t disqualify me for making mistakes, but he does correct me like any good father corrects his child. Reminding me of my own weakness and His abundant provision if I will seek Him!

When will I ever learn?! Forgive me Lord! Remind me of this day each time I am tempted to rush right into my day in the future. Remind me that without You I am weak and full of fault, but with You I can be the Christian woman I long to be…loving and blessing others. Thank you for loving me despite my short comings and imperfections. Continue to convict and discipline me when I am wrong, helping me grow and learn to walk more closely with You.

I want to be able to say like Paul did in II Timothy 4:7, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful.”

Thankfully the Lord did not disqualify me from the race! He forgave me. And so did my husband. :) And strangely enough, I feel closer to each of them today. I am abundantly loved and blessed!

I won’t give up. I will get a new grip and keep running the race:

“So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fail but become strong.”
Hebrews 12:12-13

I am loved and so are you. He doesn’t give up on us. He draws us to Himself:

“Long ago the Lord said…”I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.”
Jeremiah 31:3

Remember this is a marathon not a sprint, friends!! :)