My Perfect Body

What is a perfect body?  In this modern day culture we have all kinds of images thrown at us.  From airbrushed magazine covers to plastic filled movie stars, we're told what "real" beauty looks like.  Young girls sense it from an early age.  We become increasingly aware as we mature.  We've been looking at these images (and more and more of them all the time) from the earliest we can remember.  It's easy to see where our culture places beauty on the importance scale.  It's also easy to see how our value is often linked to our image.

This year I've made a commitment to focus on my health, taking steps toward a healthier lifestyle.  I even started a second blog about my health journey.  As a result of greatly cutting out refined food, unnatural sugars and other things and adding in more "real" food as well as a little extra exercise, I've lost a few pounds.  That feels good.   But...a perfect body?   Is that possible?  What is a perfect body anyway?

Hey, I've under slept and overeaten most of my life.  I've had surgeries, and I proudly display various battle scars.  By golly, I've even carried and given birth to two 8 and a half pound babies.  This body ain't never going to be "perfect" again. Not that it really ever was, not according to the standards of the world.  I've never been the Hollywood type.  Reality, I never will be.  Perfect is an illusion when it comes to looks.   

The problem is, our culture changes the definition of perfect every time we turn around. Not only that, we tend to change our definition too.


So, I think the true question is how does God define a perfect body?  Because, really, He's the One we are here to glorify, not others or self.  Right?!

Before I go any further, I have to tell you, I believe God shows us clearly in His Word that He expects us to care for the "temple" He's given us.  It's obviously not right to abuse our bodies...and then expect them to work well for us.  We need to be good stewards of what God's given us.  That includes our body.  If we want a healthy body, one that's well and able to do the work He's called us to do, then we will need to take the time to care for it as we should.  Sooo...what I'm about to write is not an excuse to neglect the outside.  Rather, it's a reminder to focus first on what's on the inside, then work outward.  :)

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

So, I ask again, how does God define a perfect body?  I think He sees a perfect body as one indwelled by His Holy Spirit!  A soul empty of self, acceptable for His inhabitanance.  Now, that's a body He can use!

 

Turns out I can dress up the outside, workout 'til I'm blue in the face and eat every healthy vegetable I can find and still find myself with a hollow, ugly body in God's eyes.  Cellulite, decay and deficiency of the heart. 

Isn't that just like us humans, getting all caught up in the perishable things we can see while losing sight of the truly important, eternal things?  We need to focus!  God is looking for bodies He can use.  People who will die to self and walk in the Spirit.   God's Son, Jesus, came and gave His body so we could, not only have eternal life, but abundant life now.  We must give up our life to gain it.  Not that we're always going to get it right, we're not.  But we must choose to die to self, over and over again, so that Christ can live through us. 

Although I'm about 100% sure I'll never reach the world's "perfect body" definition, I now realize I can have a perfect body in God's eyes!  I can be a body He can indwell and use for His glory! 

What a joy to know when He looks at me, He doesn't see what everyone else sees.  He sees my heart, His temple.  My body, His image.  I can love my body, so called flaws and all, because He does.  And His definition of perfection never changes. :)

But the LORD said....The LORD doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." I Samuel 16:7

Friend, you can have a perfect body too!  :)

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:1-2

Today I'm linking up with the Jill Savage's Hearts at Home Blog Hop.  Click the link below to read more of what others had to say on this subject.

 

Religious Holes ~ ReNEWed Life '12

Where did the past month go?  I meant to write this post much sooner.  I can tell you that I haven’t written because I had gallbladder surgery 10 days ago, that it’s harvest time on the farm and that I have many (perhaps too many) irons in the fire…including homeschooling our big kindergartener.  All of that is true. 

Yet, I think the real reason I haven’t taken the time to write is because I promised a post about “empty religion” and how it once limited and defined me.  I knew this one would be a hard one for me.  One I’ve wanted to write for a long time, but haven’t because words escaped me.  Today, I hope to keep it simple, to the point and free of trying to show my thoughts from every angle.

On August 11^th, I was privileged to be at ReNEWed Life Women’s Event, a women’s conference I was blessed to help organize in our rural community in northeast Iowa.  National speaker and author Lisa Whittle challenged and encouraged us, sharing three messages that day.  The second message she shared was titled, “Holes Bring Hope”.   Lisa said, “While holes keep us from some things, they also provide us a way to God, an opportunity to move toward God…If we’re desperate enough, our lives will change.”

Lisa Whittle also said, “Holes limit and define us.”  She talked about the holes of empty religion, roles and experiences.  While I have let roles and experiences limit and define me, it was the holes of religion that stood out to me as Lisa spoke.  Because, you see, I once had some major religious holes.

I grew up going to church, went to Christian school from kindergarten to graduation day and knew all the “right” scriptures and religious answers.  It was a bit confusing because as a teenager I went to one denomination’s school, another denomination’s church and was taught yet another religion at home.  They were all very different, but they had one thing in common…they taught me (whether trying or not) to focus on my “performance” (as Lisa Whittle put it).     

In my early twenties I became so discouraged.  I had tried and strived and felt I had failed. There were so many rules to follow.  I ran toward religious perfection and fell flat on my face.  I saw it happen to many of those around me too.   I believed I could never measure up, that I would never be good enough.  So why try?  Of course, those were lies straight from the pit of hell.  But, that was the hole these religions had left in me.  My focus was on performance ( what I could do),  rather than His grace (what He had already done).

I turned my back on religion, and God.   I paid the price.  I came to a place of utter misery.  One day I literally fell on my face before God.  It was right there in my bedroom, face down in the carpet, I cried out to Him.  Because He is gracious He heard me and answered.   I surrendered my life to Him that day, not to a religion, but to a relationship with the one true God, through His Son Jesus. 

“You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you.” Psalm 86:5

The more I get to know my gracious LORD, the more I understand His love.  The more I understand His love and grace, the more I love Him.  Religion most definitely can limit and define you.  But relationship, oh sweet relationship with Him, it sets you free…and fills holes.

As Lisa said, “…holes can also provide us a way to God, an opportunity to move toward God.”  I’m so thankful I didn’t stay stuck in empty religion, that in my desperation I turned to a relationship with the one true God.  He changed everything! 

Today I am a member of and serve in my local church.  I am a women’s ministry leader.  But I know I am not defined by my religion or my roles or my performance.   Although I long to obey Him and see improvement year after year, it’s not about following a list of rules.   I know I’m not defined by what I do.   I’m defined by who I am…His!  And with Him as my constant companion, I am not limited.  Nothing is impossible with Him!

Have you ever felt trapped in empty religion, either now or in the past?  There’s a big difference between knowing  about God and actually knowing God.  Do you wish for a more fulfilling, thriving relationship with the one true God?  What’s holding you back?  Move forward today!  I beg you, friend.  Jesus did not give His life, so that you can live in bondage to man-made laws and hollow religious practices.  Too many people never move past religion.  Don’t be one of those people.  He wants a vibrant relationship with YOU!  He’s waiting…

Trade in empty religion for authentic relationship, you will find the one who fills your God shaped holes!

Have questions or need prayer?  E-mail me: rachel76x@yahoo.com

“Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.” Psalm 90:14

 

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Renewed Treasure

I like yard sales. I like them a lot. I like finding bargains. I like finding treasures among the trash. I’m teaching my boys to enjoy them too.

Recently, I’ve had the pleasure of going to quite a few yard sales, good ones where I’ve found plenty of cheap treasures. They may not look like much to someone else, but I love taking them home to renew them and put them to use.

Today, I stopped at a sale. I found an old wooden chair for a dollar. Nothing special. It has it’s dings, obvious wear and tear. But I love it. I sat it on my front porch. I sat an old, metal watering can on it. The watering can has a hole in it, so I filled it with potting soil and plopped in a flower.  It’s nothing special, but it is a treasure to me. It makes me smile.
   
The saying is true, one man’s trash truly is another man’s (or…ahem…woman’s) treasure!

I think this must be how God feels about us, His people. He likes to take us in, dings and all. He sees the treasure in us when others don’t. We may not look like anything special to others, but we do to Him. To Him we are special. We are His treasure. He renews us and gives us a new position…right out there where everyone can see. We’re His…and we make Him smile.

We are a lot more special than an old wooden chair and a holey watering can. He has plans for us that reach beyond our wildest dreams, if we will merely trust Him and follow His lead. When we belong to Him, and we continue to seek after Him, He just keeps renewing us!

He renews our spirit (Psalm 51:10) daily (II Corinthians 4:16).
He renews our mind (Romans 12:2).
He renews our strength (Isaiah 40:31).
He renews our whole life! (Colossians 3:1-11).

I love this verse, “Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like Him.” Colossians 3:10

Although he accepts us dings and all, we don’t have to stay an old wooden chair or a holey watering can! He will make us new and just keep renewing. The more we get to know Him, the more we will want to be like Him, the more He will do in us. Isn’t that amazing?!

Do you need to be renewed today? Remember you are His treasure, dings and all. Seek after Him. Talk to Him. Trust Him. Follow Him. Remember He loves YOU. Let Him renew you today!

Thank you, Lord, for seeing the treasure in us even when others don’t. For accepting us dings and all. For loving us, and making a way for us to have new life. For renewing us daily, when we turn to You. Help us to put on our new nature, as we learn more about You and desire to become more like You. Make something beautiful out of our lives. Amen.

~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~

Need a day of renewal?!  Join us at ReNEWED Life Women's Event featuring national speaker and author Lisa Whittle! I am thrilled to be part of the ministry team working to bring this exciting event to small town Cresco, Iowa.  I would love to see YOU there on August 11^th!

P.S. See, God can use old, dinged up “treasures” like me (and you too!).   ;)

Oh, to Love Him More!

My husband ended up in the ER the night before last. Just a few hours after I said something I shouldn't have.

I spoke to a loved one earlier in the day. Someone who shared health concerns. I was reminded that life does not go on forever, that bodies fail and all people die. Even the strongest of us.

As I thought about and prayed for this person, emotion ovewehelmed me. I spent the evening thinking about all the things I take for granted. Of this fleeting life. Of regrets and goals to do better. I thought of the people I love and the way I wanted to show them more...much more.

In all the feelings I failed to see what was right before me.  To recognize the seriousness of my husband's pain. The pain of the man I say I love more than life. The pain he had told me he was experiencing. The pain I thought would go away. He seems so invincible. He's so healthy and strong. Rarely complains.

In the uproar of my feelings, concerns and contemplation of life, a remark my husband made, made me angry. I lashed out with hurtful words. Even as I said it, I knew it was wrong. Emotions getting the best of me. Still I spewed them. The tongue is like a blazing fire. Oh, to control it!

All that time thinking about what really matters...and the one who matters right before me, get's overlooked. He got the worst of me.

As I sat in the emergency room with my dear husband, I had more time to think. 1am...2am...3am...4am. It was 8am before he made it to surgery. An emergency laparoscopic appendectomy. I did not sleep all night, but that didn't matter. What mattered was he was getting the help he needed. I apologized for my words. He forgave me. I love yous were exchanged...and we meant it.

On Wednesday afternoon I thought all was well. Although these health issues have been brewing where I can not see, and where I do not know, in my world all seemed well. How quickly life can change. Oh, to remember! To live each moment as if this is my last chance.

My pastor reminded us on Christmas Eve that this life is about relationships, relationship first with God and then with others. And so I vowed that this year, this new year 2012, I will focus more wholey on something that has already been important to me, relationships. To live more as Christ, less selfishly and more lovingly. To love God with all my heart, mind and soul and to extend that love to others. If I love Him as I should, I will love others as I should.

Only days into this goal and I blow it. Letting hurtful words slip my lips, in one of the most important relationships in my life. Then, my husband gets sick and I kick myself.

BUT HIS mercies are new every morning! And really every moment. I start again, reaching for the goal. Living in this moment. Wishing to see, really see.

My heart echoes the words of Ann Voskamp "O Lord, open the eyes of my heart, the eyes of my hands, the eyes of my mouth, the eyes of my feet. I long to live all eye."

I asked my husband for forgiveness. He very graciously forgave me, saying that he understood. He loves me. I asked God for His forgiveness. He forgives and gives me new mercies. He loves me too. And I am so thankful! I decide to forgive myself...not looking back, but living in this moment and looking ahead to what He has for me to do next. Reaching towards the goal.

I hope to take my husband home from the hospital today. As he recovers from his surgery, I thank God that it wasn't much worse. I thank God for another chance.

Henry Blackaby wrote, "Jesus does not need your resolutions, your recommitments, or your promises to try harder this year. If your resolve to obey God last year (or last week) did not help you to be faithful, it will not make you successful this year. Jesus asks for your love. If you truly love Him, your service for Him in the new year will be of the quality that He desires."

Oh, to love Him more! Which will lead to loving others better...and speaking words that are filled with His grace, rather than fleshly poison. Help me, dear Jesus!

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

May the words of my mouth and the meditation

of my heart be pleasing in your sight,

O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Psalm 19:14

copyright Rachel Beran

Let's Get Real! ~ Repost

This is a repost from March 8, 2011.  Read it myself this morning and felt the urge to repost it...

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to look at someone else’s life and think they have it “all together”…that they’re so happy…so “perfect”…doing so much better than us? Looks are often deceiving!

A friend told me a while back that she sees me and my life as “perfect”. I gasped and almost laugh out loud when she said it. “What? Get real!” I said.

My friends comment bothered me because I thought she knew me better than that. She knows my past (because she was there with me through some of the worst of times), but I guess she doesn’t really know my present.

She sees the thankful and cheerful Facebook posts, pictures of me and my smiling family. She sees the yearly Christmas letters and Christian blog posts. She doesn’t see the in and out, everyday life that I live. The dirty diapers, wiped tears and toilet scrubbing. She doesn’t see the messes. She doesn’t see me tired and weary. She doesn’t see my bad attitude and temper flare up like (it pains me to say) my husband and little sons do. These aren’t things that we tend to post on Facebook or put in Christmas letters, now are they? Nope, we tend to only put the best “out there” for the world to see, don't we?!

Although I’m very, very thankful for all God has done in my life, for His salvation and blessings. And although I continue to grow, learn and draw closer to Him as the days pass, I am not “perfect” and life is not constantly bliss. And I certainly hope that I’m not giving that ‘fake” impression to people. I want to be real! I want my friends to know that they are not alone in their struggles! We may not have the exact same struggles, but we all have some. If I'm always giving off this "better than thou" impression, it makes it difficult for others to be real with me. I don't want that!

I AM forgiven. I AM loved. I AM free in Christ. But, perfect I am not. The only perfect one is God and anything that is good in me, comes from Him.

The day I surrendered my heart and life to the Lord all of my struggles did not vanish. It is a daily process. Life is hard at times. I am all too human. There are times when I don’t feel very “Christian” (mainly when I take the focus off of my Savior and put it on myself). Have you ever been there?

There are days when I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders even though I know it’s not a weight I have to bear alone. Times when I don’t feel like praying although I’ve learned that’s when I need to pray the MOST! Sometimes past habits, thought processes and feelings rise up within me. There are areas where I feel like I should be stronger, more mature, yet I am not. I want to do better, but I battle my sinful human flesh. That’s because I haven’t “arrived” and the truth is I never will. And neither will anyone else, on this side of heaven. My friend is comparing what she sees on the "outside" of me with what she knows is on the "inside" of her.


Let’s get real! Life is not easy. God never promised us that life would be easy.

So what’s so great about being a Christian? God did promise us that if we choose to follow Him, He will be with us and give us the strength we need . Because I know the Savior, I know who IS good! God is good and I know He lives within me! The “old me” didn’t have the reassurance and peace that I now know. The “new me” wants to do better!

Today, despite what I feel or what struggle I’m facing, I know where to turn. When I feel those bad attitudes rising up inside of me, I know WHO can help! No matter where I am or what I have done, I know He is good and will forgive me when I sincerely come to Him. I know He is faithful!

When I feel unlovable, He loves me anyway. He is my loving Father who will never leave nor forsakes me…so in reality I have no need to be lonely or to give into my fleshly desires. When I am weak and weary, He will give me the strength I need. I have no reason to worry, I can cast all my cares on Him. Although I am not perfect, I am covered by His blood. There is hope for me because He is sooo good! Isn’t it reassuring to know we don’t have to be perfect to be forgiven?!

Let’s get real! My life is not “perfect” and I am not "perfect" (whatever that is)! But, His love IS perfect…and that’s what is real!

Do you know where to turn when you feel so much less than perfect? Do you realize that you’re not alone in your struggles? Do you know you are loved? Let’s get real with one another! Let’s turn to the one who IS perfect…and let Him change our lives forever!  Let's love each other through all the imperfection...and grow together!

God is love, and all who live in love live in and God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear… I John 4:16-18

Accepted

This morning I posted this on the Rise & Shine Women's Retreat Facebook page.  Wanted to share it with my blog friends as well.  A good reminder that I often need and thought you might too!

We have been chosen. He isn't still deciding. He isn't "sizing us up." He knows our flaws. He's seen our mistakes and outright sin. BUT..."God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Rom 5:8) Let's receive and believe His love, seeing ourselves as He sees us...completely accepted and equipped to SHINE!

We didn't choose Him, He chose us (John 15:16) and nothing can separate us from His love (Romans 8:38).

Let's choose to accept His acceptance, friends!

Lord, let the truth of Your love settle in our hearts.  Amen


To learn more about Rise & Shine Women's Retreat click here.
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Marvelous Workmanship!

Baby Beran is due in 6 weeks...

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body

and knit me together in my mother's womb.

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!

Your workmanship is marvelous--how well I know it.

You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,

as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.

You saw me before I was born. 

Every day of my life was recorded in your book.

Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.

They can not be numbered!

Psalm 139:13-17

Awesome!  God is just awesome!  As I read this passage this morning

 I found myself basking in the awe of God's marvelous workmanship.  

Although I already love my baby, I have felt it actively moving,

heard it's heartbeat, eagerly await it's arrival; 

 I do not really know my baby yet...but God does!

He is knitting this child together in my womb,

even the delicate, inner parts...my child's very being.

God has a plan for my child's life, He knows every detail.

This child has a unique purpose, no one else has ever been or 

ever will be just like him/her.

Precious in His sight...even now! 

But this isn't true only of Baby Beran or David who wrote the Psalm above

(or even just for my 3 year old Andrew above)...

it's true for ME and YOU!

Read the previous verses found in Psalm 139:1-6

O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.

You know when I sit down or stand up. 

You know my thoughts even when I'm far away.

You see me when I travel and when I rest at home.

You know everything I do.

You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord.

You go before me and follow me. 

You place your hand of blessing on my head.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

too great for me to understand!

He knows every detail of our lives, friends!  From the beginning...

to the end and everything inbetween! 

He wove YOU together in your mother's womb!

He knows YOU and the details of YOUR life!

 YOU are His unique and special creation!

He has a plan and a purpose for YOUR life;

ones only YOU can fill!

He knows everything about YOU,

YOUR thoughts, feelings and dreams!

He wants to bless YOU!

His thoughts of YOU are precious...

and too numerous for YOU to count!

...they outnumber the grains of sand!

And when I wake up, you are still with me!

Psalm 139:18

Do you believe it?

Do you really believe it?!

As I apply this to my life, I find myself in awe

saying much like David did...

This is just too wonderful,

His ways too great for me to comprehend!

But I believe it and I

thank you, LORD!!

Seasons

Spring is near. Not quite here yet, but I can feel it in the air. I love seeing the sunshine…and some of the massive mounds of snow melting. There will probably be some more cold, windy, snowy days before the month of March comes to an end, but we know we’re in the home stretch now.

I’m probably the only person in Iowa who would say the winter has gone fast. Although it has been a long, harsh winter, I made a decision at the beginning of it to simply keep a good attitude (not always easy!!). To help the matter, we’ve been working at remodeling our basement this winter…helping the time speed by as we’ve kept busy. Now here we are, it’s almost spring (and less than 7 weeks from our baby’s due date)!

Life is like that. The time always goes by. We have seasons in our life (like a long winter in Iowa) that we “wish away”. We tend to be always longing for something better…easier…more appealing. Then, before we know it, sure enough, the season passes and we’re on to the next one. Unfortunately, that “more appealing” season rushes by just as quickly (or more so).

The wise words of Solomon in Ecclesiastes 3:11-13 tell us, “God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. So I conclude there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God. “

I’m starting to understand how the older generation must feel. How often have you heard one of them say, “Just enjoy this time, it goes quickly” or like my own mom, “Don’t wish your life away.” There is wisdom in their words. They know that life is fleeting, and want us to grasp that knowledge now while there is time.

I don’t want to spend my life waiting for that next blissful season, only to find myself at the end of my life, never having enjoyed the days God gave to me! I don’t want to spend my life “going through the motions”, I want to enjoy it!

I like this quote from Jane Canfield, “The happiest people are rarely the richest, or the most beautiful, or even the most talented. Happy people do not depend on excitement and ‘fun’ supplied by externals. They enjoy the fundamental, often very simple, things of life. They waste no time thinking other pastures are greener. They do not yearn for yesterday or tomorrow. They savor the moment, glad to be alive, enjoying their work, their families, the good things around them. They are adaptable, they can bend with the wind, adjust to the changes in their times, enjoy the contests of life, and feel themselves in harmony with the world. Their eyes are turned outward, they are aware, compassionate. They have the capacity to love.”

Enjoy the simple things of life. Savor the moment. Be adaptable. Love and serve others…thinking outside of yourself. Not just when things are going good, but all the time! We may not be able to see the “scope” of God’s plan, but He can…and we can trust Him! That gives us such peace, hope and joy!

As a Christian I know that God promises me:

A rich and satisfying life. A life of fullness. (John 10:10)
Strength I need from day to day. (Phil 4:13)
To cause everything to work together for good for me. (Rom 8:38)
That He has good plans for me, giving me a future and a hope…if I look to Him. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

God didn’t intend for us to spend our life waiting for the next season. Thinking we’ll be happier…when winter has passed, when the spring rain ends, when the summer humidity subsides, when the fall foliage displays every color, when yet another harsh winter passes, starting the cycle all over again.

Or maybe we’ll be happier…when we graduate, when we get married, when we have kids, when we land that perfect job, when we get a promotion, when our health is better, when we retire, etc.

Why do we wish our lives away?! Although it’s good to have things to look forward to, it’s good to have goals, it’s not so good to wish THIS day away. God has promised us that He will be with us. He has given us His joy as our strength TODAY.

God only gives us one life to live, let’s enjoy it!! This season will pass…and then, all too quickly, so will the next one. Let’s choose to be thankful in our circumstances TODAY, in this season.

Look around, what are you thankful for today? What moment can you savor a little more? What brings you joy in this season of life? Are your “eyes turned outward” looking for someone who could use your help seeing the beauty of the season they’re in today? Is there someone you could “love on” a little more? =)

“…let the Holy Spirit fill and control you. Then you will sing…making music to the Lord in your hearts. And you will always give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Ephesians 18b-20

Proverbs 15:15b says, “…for the happy heart, life is a continual feast.”

Mama Always Said...

My mama and me (and Baby Beran). :)

As adults it’s easy to “pick apart” our parents. We often focus on the mistakes they made and the things that we want to differently with our children. We tend to forget that like them we are human, and our kids will find fault with our “perfect parenting” too (Ha! As if there is such a thing!).

Today I found myself instead focusing on all the things my mom got right. She’s taught me some things…some that I have applied, and some that I know I fall short of living fully. Still, I hope to pass on much of her wisdom, kindness and compassion to my children.

Thought maybe I’d share some her wisdom with you too. :)

Lesson 1: The golden rule, “Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you.” She taught me this not so much in word, but in action! If someone was in need she was the first one to jump in. She gave of herself without reservation, without laziness, without expectation of receiving anything in return. She often did these things silently, without bringing attention to herself, and out of the abundance of her loving, compassionate heart.

Which leads me to the next things she taught…

Lesson 2: Love others. Mom always has tended to see the best in people. She loved some pretty unlovable people. She remembered many that others forgot. She even said to love that not-so-good-looking, mean, toothless bully at school! She would remind me that even he probably had a mother at home who looks at him through adoring eyes, and more importantly a Heavenly Father who loves him unconditionally. She reminded me that everyone has a soul, and potential as a child of God.

Lesson 3: Hold your tongue. Now, I must admit I have a lot of work to do on this one, but it’s not because my mama didn’t teach me! Mom would be the first NOT to tell you that you don’t have to say everything that you think. :) If it’s not nice, or uplifting, or really needed, maybe you should just keep it to yourself. Speak up when it IS needed, in kindness and love, and because of your reputation people will be more likely to listen. You don't always have to defend yourself, trust the Lord to defend and protect you.

I’ll be honest, there were times when I was growing up when I saw this as a weakness in my mom. I would often think, “Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?” or “Why didn’t she just tell them what she thinks?” Now that I’m a woman myself I see the wisdom in sometimes staying silent. Not that I want to be a doormat, or that I can’t share my opinions when appropriate (believe me I have plenty of them!), but there is something beautiful about a woman with a gentle and quiet, reverent and respectful spirit. God’s Word says so, I Peter 3:4, “You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” My mom has an unfading beauty that you can not deny!

Lesson 4: Being a mom is the best job in the world. Tears came to my eyes immediately after I typed those words, emotions of gratitude for the mothering that my mom doted upon me, and the love that I have for my own child(ren). I remember my mom saying this to me when I was a teenager, and for the first time realizing the passion behind her words. She meant it!

My mom made sacrifices so that she could be home with me…even as a single mom (she did daycare in our home). She recognized the importance of her role in my life, and I never doubted her love for me. She took pride in and made being a homemaking mama her primary role (even in the midst of “bringing home the bacon” as a single mom). Our home was warm, inviting and a haven for me. Even though money was tight, there was always good food on the table, affection to be distributed and words of encouragement to be shared. I thank God soooo often for the example that she set for me!! (Note: I’m looking forward to her coming up to help me after Baby Beran is born, so that I can gain more wisdom from this child expert!)

Lesson 5: Don’t be lazy. That woman is a go-getter, I tell ya! For years, I thought she must be crazy the way she kept her house clean (even in the midst of watching everyone else’s kids!)…and kept herself busy. Like the Energizer bunny, she just kept going and going (hee hee) even when I know she must have been tired. She did her work joyfully, often humming the tune to, “Oh, how I love Jesus” as she went about her work. She gave me a real life model of the virtuous and capable woman described in Proverbs 31.

Hmmmm…come to think of it, all the things my mama taught me above are described in Proverbs 31...

“She is energetic and strong, a hard worker….Her hands are busy…She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy…She is clothed with strength and dignity...When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instruction with kindness…she suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her…a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.” Excerpts from Proverbs 31:17-31

I could go on and on and on listing things that my mama has taught me, but I’ll stop here. I’m praying that I can be more like my mom because being more like her would mean being more like Jesus.

My mom was not perfect, God is the only perfect parent, but she sure was good…and still is!!

I LOVE and APPRECIATE you, Mom!!

Tell me, what did your mama always say? What did she teach you without words? I’d love to hear!

Love Others, Serve Others

I haven't been a very good blogger the last couple of weeks. The busyness of life and the achey, tiredness of third trimester pregnancy has consumed much of my time recently. In addition, I have been taking a bit of time to focus on some things that God has laid upon my heart. This focus is much needed, but hasn't left me with a lot of time to blog.

I sat down more than once to compose a post to share with you, my blog friends. Just didn't feel I could find a neat and tidy way to share all I want to say. Still don't think I can, so instead today I will share a few quotes, first from God's Word, then from other resources I have had the pleasure of enjoying lately. I think these quotes will reflect some of what I'd like to share with you.

The words of Jesus in John 13:34-35, “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

“Let there be real harmony…be of one mind united in thought and purpose.” I Corinthians 1:10

“…agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one heart and purpose. Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don’t think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing.”
Philippians 2:2-4

From Nancy Leigh DeMoss’ book, Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free in the chapter, Lies Women Believe…About Marriage:

“If I expect to be served, I will often be disappointed. If I seek to serve others, without expecting anything in return, I will never be disappointed. (Prov 31:10-31)”

“We are never more like Jesus than when we are serving others.
(John 13:5)”

From J. Otis and Gail Ledbetter’s book, Family Fragrance:

“Loving because someone deserves it doesn’t work. Sooner or later that kind of love will shipwreck. … The model God gave us is that affection does not need a reason, only an object.”

“Modeled day in and day out, children pick up on unselfish attitudes. They begin to live them as well when serving is done in a spirit of affection and positive feeling.”

From Lysa TerKeurst’s new book, Becoming More Than A Good Bible Study Girl:

“Instead of looking at the ministry options our church offers and asking, ‘Which one will meet my needs and feed me the way I need to be fed?’ we must look at our church and ask, ‘Where can I make a difference in the body of Christ?’’”

The message is clear: Love others, serve others. I believe this kind of unconditional, servant love begins with the people within our own home, then extends to our extended family and our church family, then branches out to the rest of the world.

What really sets us apart as Christian believers? Is the love that we have for one another something unique and special, an example to our children as well as to the rest of the world? Something to be desired? Do we show others the kind of love that Christ has shown to us?

I don’t want to be guilty of just saying that I love others and not really showing it, of being self-centered and "me" focused. I also don’t want to get so busy trying to reach out to everyone else and forsake to show Christ’s love and a servant’s heart towards those within my own realm of influence, those God has placed in my life for a very specific purpose, those that are most important to me. Not loving, serving, submitting out of duty; instead loving, serving, submitting out of a full heart...joyfully, humbly, because I really love.

I pray that the world will see the love that we have for one another and be drawn to Christ because of it.

By the way, I highly recommend each of the resources above! :)

Disqualified

A couple of weeks ago I had one of those days. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? One of THOSE days! I’m not sure if I woke up on the wrong side of the bed or not. I do know that my attitude wasn’t the best. I didn’t feel well physically, emotionally, mentally (pregnancy can do that to you). I had a long list of things on my to-do list that day…and they were things that really needed to be done. I had some stressful situations arise, a lot of interruptions to my agenda and the tension inside of me rose to the point of bursting.

I had done my devotions that morning, but skipped my regular Bible reading. I didn’t take much time (besides some “pop-up” prayers) to pray to my Savior that morning even though I knew I would need his strength and Spirit to accomplish the goals of the day. There was just so much to do you know?!

I had just read and studied a few days before the words of Paul in Hebrews 12...about running the race God has set before us with endurance. Hebrews 12:2 says we do this by “keeping our eyes on Jesus.”

Well, let me tell you the truth here, friends…my eyes were not really set on Jesus this particular day. As the day continued on I felt weak, tired, stressed…and ticked off! I had reached my boiling point. My husband and I ended up in an argument (surprise, surprise). I said some not-so-nice things. So did he. The day only got worse!

My spirit was bitter, angry and not where it should be. I knew it. I came to the end of my day feeling like a complete failure. I felt like I should be disqualified from the whole race!!

I asked myself, “How does a born-again, Spirit-filled Christian get so off track so easily?!” I let my flesh take over…again.

As I took an honest look at the events of the day I realized that I really set myself up for failure that day. I should have set apart my time with the Lord as sacred. I’m pretty sure that if I had started my day more fervently in God’s Word and prayer I wouldn’t have ended up where I did. If I had sought His strength and guidance, focusing on HIS agenda for my day instead of trying to “wing it” on my own, I would have been so much better off. I would have accomplished more…and been a lot nicer to be around in the process.

I was reminded of the weakness of my own flesh and the words in Mark 14:38, “Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body (flesh) is weak.”
That is why I must keep my eyes on Jesus! Only He can help me run this race with endurance. I can not do it on my own. He doesn’t disqualify me for making mistakes, but he does correct me like any good father corrects his child. Reminding me of my own weakness and His abundant provision if I will seek Him!

When will I ever learn?! Forgive me Lord! Remind me of this day each time I am tempted to rush right into my day in the future. Remind me that without You I am weak and full of fault, but with You I can be the Christian woman I long to be…loving and blessing others. Thank you for loving me despite my short comings and imperfections. Continue to convict and discipline me when I am wrong, helping me grow and learn to walk more closely with You.

I want to be able to say like Paul did in II Timothy 4:7, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful.”

Thankfully the Lord did not disqualify me from the race! He forgave me. And so did my husband. :) And strangely enough, I feel closer to each of them today. I am abundantly loved and blessed!

I won’t give up. I will get a new grip and keep running the race:

“So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fail but become strong.”
Hebrews 12:12-13

I am loved and so are you. He doesn’t give up on us. He draws us to Himself:

“Long ago the Lord said…”I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.”
Jeremiah 31:3

Remember this is a marathon not a sprint, friends!! :)

What Makes You Feel Loved?

Andrew in Feb of 2009

A few months ago Renee Swope shared on her blog about asking her son, Andrew, the question, “What makes you feel loved?” I thought the blog post she shared was very good. I also thought that my little Andrew (2½ at the time) was probably too young to understand that question, but wanted to be sure to remember it so that I could ask him in the future.
Last week Andrew (who will be 3 on the 30^th) and I were playing in his room. It was just me and him. Suddenly, the question “popped” into my mind which is actually kind of strange since I hadn’t thought of it again since reading it. Within a matter of seconds different thoughts crossed my mind like, “He’s too young to understand that” to “I could always rephrase the question if I need to” to “Well, it doesn’t hurt to ask him…if he doesn’t understand it now, I can always ask again later.” So…I asked.

I said, “Andrew, what makes you feel loved?” He said, “Huh?” I asked again, “What makes you feel loved?” He said, “Ummmm…” I decided to rephrase the question. I asked, “What do you like that Mommy does with you or for you the verrrry most?” He didn’t hesitate. He drew out his words, “When you pray with me.” I thought, “Wow, really?! Huh! How incredible is that?!” I didn’t realize that.

Maybe this momma is making more of it than it really is, but that seems HUGE to me! He didn’t say when we play together, do puzzles, read books or even when I do special craft projects with him. He didn’t say when I buy him toys or candy or when I take him somewhere special. He didn’t say when I make his meals, wash his clothes or bathe him. He didn’t even say when we cuddle on the couch (although I know he loves that). Nope, he said, “When you pray with me.”

Does he just like this family ritual (his daddy often prays along with us)? Or does he sense something significant about this activity? Prayer is something I believe he is starting to understand…and I pray (and believe) is being permanently instilled in his heart as an important part of the day. Still, I’m not sure what made Andrew think of this when I asked (and rephrased), “What makes you feel loved?”

What I do know is this: it reminds me of what is truly important! All of the other activities (or at least most) I mentioned above are good and much needed also; yet it’s those simple, yet meaningful things that mean the most! He wants ME. He wants my time and attention, taking the time to pray with him. He wants to know that he is important to me. When I pray with him he must sense the love I have for him and for God. I am teaching him by example and beginning a legacy. Honestly, I may not know the true significance and value of this time together for many years to come.

When I was sharing this story with a friend at church today she said something profound. She said as I was telling her the story she thought of what God might say if we asked him that same question, “What makes you feel loved?” And she wondered if he would say something like, “When you pray to me.” Wow!
God wants our time too!! He wants US. He wants our time and attention, to be glorified. He wants to know that He is important to us, to be praised. When we pray He knows of our love for Him…and others. Our time with Him is significant, valuable and needed! (Note: He always has time for us, is available and willing to listen too. I don’t know about you, but I would say that, that sure does make ME feel loved!)

I am in the midst of reading three different books at the moment. Interestingly enough all three of them came to a point this past week where they were focusing on (what else?!)…PRIORITIES. Each of them contributing to what God had already been laying on my heart.

Although it is important to meet the needs of my family, I can not spend my whole day fretting over making meals, cleaning house or doing laundry. If I am too busy trying to minister to people outside of my home to focus on the ones within my home than my priorities are “out of whack.” If I’m too busy trying to find ways to bring in extra income so that Andrew can have one more toy or treat, I’m really “missing the boat.”
Of all the things I can do throughout my day, my number one priority must be spending time with God, building that relationship. Then, as a wife and mother, my next priority must be the people within my own home, my family. They are the number one ministry God has given to me.

Quality time with God. Quality time with our family. These are the MOST important things we can do throughout our day!!

What makes you feel loved? What do you think makes your kids, husband or other loved ones feel loved? Why don’t you ask them today? You might be surprised by their answer!