On Saturday I had the opportunity to to share my testimony at ReNEWed Life Women's Event. The focus was "How God has Transformed My Life Through the Word". Here I will share what I said (or at least close to it)
Really there was soooo much more I wanted to say. I mean, really, how has the Word NOT transformed my life?! I love God's Word! But I had a 5 minute or less goal (even though I think I might have talked 6 minutes). This seems like such a vague overview of my life and the way the LORD has worked in me. Then again, I believe it was what He wanted me to say for "such a time as this"...and so I never want to say more or less than that. :)
I
grew up faithfully attending church and went to Christian school from
kindergarten through 12th grade.
At the young age of 5 I made the choice at the preaching of the Word of
God to ask Jesus Christ to be my personal Savior. I had a strong faith growing up. I was taught the Word. I even memorized a lot of scriptures.
But as
a young adult I found myself in a different place. I was not only exposed to different ways of
thinking, I became angry with God when things didn’t go the way I thought they should. I aslo had this nagging feeling that I could never measure up to the
perfectionistic expectation God and others put on me. So I gave up. One bad choice at a time, I began living life
my own way. I sought after the things
the world had to offer me.
During
that time, I twisted the Word of God to fit my own agenda. I told myself that it didn’t really matter how
I lived, what I did or what others thought of me, that God loved me and I was okay with Him. I thought I was so free. But I had forgotten the truth I had learned, that
a person can either be slave to Christ or a slave to sin, there is no other
way.
Even
though I was still often smiling on the outside, inside I was so
conflicted. The Holy Spirit used the Truth
I learned as a girl to convict me. I
couldn’t escape it. His Word most
certainly is alive and active…” (Heb 4:12) and it was working in me.
One
day I came to a crossroads. The world
had left me, as it always does, in a pit.
My poor choices had left me with consequences. I fell down on my knees and cried out to
God. I asked Him to forgive me and I
promised to submit my life to Him
completely.
Everything
changed from that day. I realized I had
been believing a lie. God never asked me
to be perfect. But He did say, “If you
love me you will obey me.” Ironically, when
I became a slave to Christ, I never felt freer!
When
I recommitted my life to the LORD, I began to get back into His Word and let
His Word get into me. I have found that
every time I open the Bible (with little kids it can be hard to find time, but
when I take the time) God show me something that is relevant to my life. I have grown in my faith. I’m thankful for that because when hard days
come (and they still come whether you’re a Christian or not), I am prepared. I have my heart and mind set on Truth.
I was
thankful for that foundation when despite being overjoyed at the birth of our
first son, weeks later my hormones plummeted and I experienced a severe case of
PPD. I was filled with such
hopelessness, fear, despair and a desire to die. It was the Word of God, the Truth that I knew
from being in His Word beforehand; the Truth that other shared with me that got
me through. I repeated over and over II
Tim 1:7, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love
and of a sound mind.”
Then
the miscarriages came. During those
tough days others spoke words of encouragement to us, but it was the Truth in
God’s Word, that encouraged me the most.
Yes, it was hard. But even in the
midst of grief His Word filled me with peace and hope.
(I wish I would have shared what I originally planned...I knew that as Proverbs 3:5 says that I must "Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding.")
When
I had my third miscarriage last year, I knew it was time to put the faith I
said I had into action. Faith is taking
God at His Word. In Psalm 33 (4-5, 20-22)
I read, “For the Word of the LORD holds true and we can trust everything He does. He loves whatever is just and good; the
unfailing love of the LORD fills the earth. We put our hope in the LORD. He is our help and our shield. In Him our
hearts rejoice for we trust in His holy name.”
The question was did I believe it.
I chose to believe. No, I didn’t
understand why, and I still don’t, but I don’t have to really, because I trust
my Master.
I
still have a lot to learn and that’s why I keep going back to His Word.
This
isn’t just for me, friends. As I close I
want you to know, it doesn’t matter who you are or where you’re from or even
where you’ve been or what you’ve done, God has a plan for your life. There’s nothing He can’t forgive. There’s no one He won’t change. There’s not one thing He won’t see you
through… if you will submit your life
to Him completely. Get into His Word. Abide in
it. “Then” as John 8:32 says, “you will
know the Truth and the Truth will set you free.”
Soon I hope to share more about that fabulous day at ReNEWed Life Women's Event. After so much planning and preparation, it was a joy to see it all come to fruition. It was a day of answered prayers! Our God-gifted and spirit-led guest speaker, Wendy Blight, spoke beautiful Truth to our hearts. The worship music was amazing! The other local speakers "hit it out of the ball park"! God was glorified...and my heart rejoices! He is amazing!!
