Weary

As I sit here at my laptop this evening I have a desire to write and share with you, but my spirit is weary. I sat here for a few moments with my face in my hands praying, "Lord, I don't even know what to say...or what to title it." The word weary came to mind...AGAIN.

It sounds depressing, yet weary is a word that has been on my mind...and tongue quite a bit lately. It describes how I often feel as I deal with chronic pain day in and day out. Pain that persists after a year...and many attempts at treatment.

I've wanted to share on my blog many times throughout the last couple of weeks, but sitting at the computer is painful. I promised to share more about my miscarriage loss and some things that I learned, yet lately I haven't been able to muster the engery. I still intend to do so, just not today. Most days it takes all I have to complete my regular tasks which includes caring for my husband, 2 1/2 year old son and our home. Weary, yes, weary...that's the word.

Being in constant pain can be a very lonely experience. Other people (even those the closest to you and that love you the most) can't really understand what it is like. Others continue moving through their busy days while you're lying on the couch praying for strength just to get through.

Then, a reminder comes...

Yesterday, I came across a scripture passage. One that I had read many times before. One that I have even used to encourage others during hard times. However, this time it hit me "like a ton of rocks." It was as if God was speaking it straight to my own weary heart!

Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.

Psalm 73:25-26

As I read, my eyes filled with tears. The loneliness of this pain began to fade. Whom have I in heaven but you, Lord?! Oh yes, my health may fail...and for sure my spirit grows weak (and weary), but YOU remain the strength of my heart. You are mine forever! And nothing can change that! You know, care and understand. I desire nothing more than you, Lord!

God never promised us that this life would be easy. However, He did promise us that when we accept Him as our Lord and Savior that He will never leave us nor forsake us (Deut 31:6, 8 & Heb 13:5). We don't have to be discouraged or afraid because He will go with us. He will give us the strength (His strength not ours!) that we need to get through whatever struggle we face!

I don't know what the Lord has in store for me next. I know that God could heal me at this very moment if He chose to do so. I also know that God's ways are so beyond mine...so even when I don't understand what He is doing, I can trust Him and His plan for my life. He is teaching me things through the pain. I pray that I will have ears to hear and eyes to see all that He is trying to show me.

My weariness must turn into dependence on the One who is the strength of my heart. How reassuring to know that He cares; He will not leave me, nor forsake me; He is mine forever!

I pray that you also have that reassurance and hope today, my dear reading friend. As always, feel free to contact me with any prayer requests or questions you may have. I am here for you...even in the midst of the pain.

Miscarriage

It was one year ago today that I made that life-altering trip to the doctor's office. I was 11 weeks pregnant and this was my first checkup. I had been spotting for a little while, but from what I read online spotting oftten occures in early pregnancy. Although it did worry me a bit, since no other symptoms (no cramping at all!!) accompanied it, I decided to not overly worry...and just leave it in God's hands. This day, however, I had decided that the spotting had gone on long enough. I went into work that morning, but made a doctors appointment near my lunch hour.

It was quite a rollercoaster of emotions as I entered the doctor's office that day. I prayed for strength...and that we would get good news. A lot of, "Please help me, Lord!" After talking to the nurse and doctor I felt reassured taht the spotting wasn't a big deal. After checking me, their words were reassuring-everything looked fine.

Then, it was time for the in-house ultrasound. They said that hearing the baby's heartbeat would just reassure me that everything was fine. I lied on the table as the doctor began rubbing the little monitor (not sure what that little thing is called) around in the jelly on my belly. I waited and waited as he continuously moved the monitor. We waited...and waited some more. I looked at the doctor's face searching for some kind of answer. I could tell he was trying not to show any emotion, but I could sense a bit of panic in his eyes. Maybe it was merely the speeding heart in my own chest that made it seem that way, but it seemed as if was now frantically searching for a fetal heartbeat. Tears welled up in my eyes. Finally, he quit searching. He quickly apologized saying that he wasn't very good at running this ultrasound machine. He reassured me that it was probably just his error...and lack of experience in running the machine. I asked if he had ever not been able to find a heartbeat before. He hesitantly, yet honestly answered, "No." (You can always count on me to ask a zinger of a question!).

While they scheduled an ultrasound for me at the hospital, I called my husband, Alan. I broke down! He reasuured me that he would head my way as quickly as he could and that the in-house ultrasound was probably just wrong.

Despite everyon's reassuring words, the in-house ultrasound was not wrong! The hospital ultrasound was quite clear. Our baby had only developed to 6 weeks and there was no heartbeat. Why hadn't my body gone through the miscarriage process? Were my dates wrong? Could we be only 6 weeks pregnant? No, I knew my dates were right. Even the positive pregnancy test that announced to us that we were expecting was taken over 6 weeks before. Still, a person's mind can go all over the place during a time like this. I held onto a tiny bit of hope that the ultrasound could somehow be wrong.

We were sent home to wait. I cried and cried. Alan cried. We cried together. We talked and tried to process this information. Either my body would choose to go through the miscarriage process in the following week or, if not, we would go in for a second ultrasound on September 18th.

It was a long week! I went about my normal activities trying to forget that I was carrying my deceased baby and waiting to miscarry. Holding on to a bit of hope that the ultrasound was wrong. Still spotting, yet feeling more pregnant than ever (my pregnancy symptoms were hightened).

On September 14, 2008 I wrote the following:

September 11th will be a date etched in my memory for all time. It was a day full of sorrow for me. However, I’m not referring to the September 11th that you may be thinking of. Not September 11, 2001, the day that our wonderful country the USA was attacked by terrorists. Although that was a sad day for all Americans, that’s not the date I’m referring to. No, my September 11th story took place seven years later on September 11, 2008. That was the day that I found out I was having a miscarriage.

From the moment any woman realizes that she is expecting she starts making plans; dreaming dreams. I’m no different. Mine were shattered that day. At first I think I was in disbelief. Maybe you would call it denial. My husband, Alan, and I were trilled to think of soon welcoming a new baby into our family. We thought our little son, Andrew, would soon be a big brother. We really wanted this baby! How could this really be happening to us?

The days following September 11th brought with them many questions, confusion and a little fear. Tears flowed from our broken hearts. Many things in life are hard to understand. I believe some of our questions will never be answered here on this earth. I also believe that a bit of grief will always reside in our hearts as long as we travel this life. However, I’ve found such comfort and peace in knowing that my Heavenly Father comforts me in all my tribulations (II Cor 1:4).

As the weekend neared I knew I needed to prepare a Sunday school lesson for my 3 and 4-year-old preschool class. Honestly, I dreaded the thought of getting a lesson together. I’ve always loved teaching Sunday school, but I had found it very hard to concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes at a time. However, I prayed for strength and motivation. Before I knew it I had found some inspiration and was writing a lesson of my own.

I came across the story of the lost sheep in Matthew 18. I know this story is an illustration of God calling us, His sheep, back to himself. Yet, something else struck me as I read this story once again. It reminded me that God is our Good Shepherd (John 10:11). A Good Shepherd loves, cares for and protects His sheep. He knows His sheep and they know Him (John 10:14). Not only that, but our Good Shepherd has a plan for us (Jer 29:11). We can trust in Him and His plan for our lives (Prov 3:5). His purpose is to give life in its fullness (John 10:10). He causes everything to work together for good for us (Rom 8:28). He helps us in our distress (Rom 8:26).

Jeremiah 29:11-13 says:“For I know the plans I have for you”, says they Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster (evil), to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me.”

I am grateful for all He is reminding me of and teaching me through my September 11th experience. I trust in His plan (Jer 29:11). I want His will and not mine (Luke 22:42). I am thankful that He gives us hope (Ps 31:24) and that He heals the brokenhearted (Is 61:1).

Although I found such strength, peace and hope in my faith in Jesus Christ the following days were not easy. A second ultrasound confirmed the first (and the in-house one). Even my untrained eyes could clearly see the truth before me. No development past 6 weeks. No movement. No heartbeat. Since my body wasn't going through the miscarriage process properly, we had to decide what to do to avoid infection.

A third ultrasound to reassure my breaking heart that I was doing the right thing and a scheduled d&c followed. Don't know what a d&c is? Go here to learn more.

It was physically and emotionally draining time. I am so thankful that I knew God had (and still has) a plan for our family. That even though I don't always understand His plan, that I can trust Him and His plan for my life. It caused me to wonder what I would ever do without Him...without the peace and hope that only He can give!

Have you gone through a miscarriage or the loss of a baby? Do you know someone who has...someone who is struggling with this loss? So many people don't understand this pain. Many people minimize the loss. Please know that I understand the pain. I know that it is a REAL loss and the sorrow that it brings along with it. I also know that you can find hope and peace in the midst of the pain!

I learned so much through my loss and have compiled some thoughts (well, a lot of thoughts...enough that I could almost write a book). I want to share just a few of those things with you here on my blog in the next couple of posts. Check back to read some of my thoughts on some of the crazy things people say after such a loss, people minimizing the loss, what an opportunity a time such as this is to minister to a hurting woman's soul, some things to avoid and some things to do.

As always I am here to listen and pray, dear reading friend. Always feel free to leave a comment here or e-mail me: rachel.beran@yahoo.com

Discouragement

Have you ever felt discouraged? I sure have! In fact, I just went through a time of discouragement this past week.

Some of you know that I have been dealing with ongoing issues with my neck for quite some time now...well, for almost a year. I have gone through weeks and weeks of therapy...and many ups and downs. Finally, at the end of June we saw somewhat of a breakthrough. I was feeling quite a bit better and the x-rays showed 70% improvement. I was overjoyed to have a break from the always time consuming and sometimes very painful therapy.

I had some minor setbacks in the last couple of months. Fortunately, they weren't long lasting. However, two weeks ago something happened. Not sure what triggered it. Yet, much of the pain returned in my neck, shoulder and arm-even some that I hadn't felt in months. Just when I thought things were heading in the right direction, I felt like I was back to square one. The discouragement began.

Anyone who has ever experienced constant pain is aware of how tiring, draining and all-consuming it can be. In the midst of the pain, I heard a voice in my head, "You're never going to get better. It's always going to be this way." Discouragement swept in a little more.

My body longed for rest, but the pain made me restless. Sleep didn't come easily-neither did anything else. The more tired I got the more my vision blurred...at least spiritually. I found it hard to focus on anything besides the pain. I asked God, "Why?" Hope was fading. Discouragement set in...and got nice and cozy!

You may have notice that I haven't posted on my blog in a while. This is the reason. It's tough for me to write an encouraging word to you, my dear reading friend, when I'm feeling discouraged myself. However, my story doesn't end there.

A couple of days ago I realized how "foggy" my perspective had become. I wasn't depressed, but I was discouraged. I wondered why I had to go through this pain once again. I felt there was no end in sight. I felt alone without anyone who truly understood or cared. My focus was on ME and MY circumstances rather than on the ONE who controls all things...the All-Knowing, All-Powerful, Almighty God.

I opened up my Bible to find some words of encouragement.

Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord is the one who goes before you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor forsake you.
Deuteronomy 31:8

Although I don't know why God is allowing this in my life at this time, I DO know that I am not alone and that He will never fail me...nor forsake me. I don't have to be afraid or discouraged! He cares!

One of my favorite passages came to mind.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me."

Oh Lord, why do I ever question you? Why do I so quickly listen to the lies of the enemy rather than to Your Truth. You are the Giver of Hope, the Loving Father. Although I don't understand, You know the plans you have for me...and they are for good!

I realized my need to pray (and remembered that He is listening). I longed to take the focus back off of myself and the pain I'm experiencing...and put it back onto the ONE who gives me a future and a hope. I scoured God's Word to find more words of hope. I felt my heart chiming in with these words in the Psalms as if the words were my own.

Why am I discouraged? Why so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again-my Savior and my God!
Psalm 42:5

When I pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me the strenght I need.
Psalm 138:3

I will quietly keep my mind on your decress.
Psalm 119:95b

A couple more visits to the chiropractor...more exercises, adjustments and traction therapy. I've felt a little bit of relief, yet as I sit here at my computer keying this out the pain still persisits. I have more visits on the calendar this week. My circumstances haven't changed much, but my focus has!

I put my hope in Him! I will praise Him through this. Then, I will praise Him again! I choose to remember that when I pray he WILL answer! I am encouraged because He gives me the strength I need! I choose to quietly keep my mind on Him and His promises!

With that in mind, how can I feel discouraged?!

How about you? Are you feeling discouraged today? Sometimes life is hard. God never promised it would be easy. He DID promise that He would go with us...if we seek Him. The circumstances of life can ofen bring us down. However, God is bigger than our circumstances!

I pray you found hope and encouragement in the scripture references above, my friend. Please pray for me. I already prayed for you today. :) If you would like additional prayer, please post a comment here or e-mail me at rachel.beran@yahoo.com.

Be Still

One day last week my little son, Andrew, and I went on a long walk through the pasture and along the creek near our home. It was an overcast day; cool enough that we needed to wear our sweatshirts. It had rained that morning so the grass was still wet. I didn’t take my cell phone along. We weren’t on time schedule. I didn’t even have a watch to look at! We weren’t in a hurry.

Andrew gathered walking sticks for us and enjoyed finding rocks to throw in the creek. As we walked along together I found myself in awe of God’s creation. The lush, green grass and a variety of wildflowers growing randomly in the pasture; the rippling water of the creek flowing over the rocks of all shapes and sizes; colorful, fluttering butterflies and rays of sunlight peaking through the trees. Andrew enjoyed exploring every crook and cranny. I enjoyed pointing out the wildlife to him. We even came across a beaver dam.

The sweet silence of nature surrounded us…birds chirping, creek water rushing, the leaves of the trees rustling. My mind was quieted. Peace filled my heart. I found myself praising the LORD internally as I marveled at His creation. It felt as if His arms were wrapping around me. I was so aware of His presence. I was aware of how BIG he is and how small I am. It was a wonderful time of being quiet before the Lord.

I wish I could tell you that this is something I do often. Although I live in a very peaceful and beautiful place, more often then not I tend to miss it because of the clamoring of the world…and the clutter of my own mind. Long walks without a cell phone and without a time schedule don’t often fit into the busyness of my everyday life. Yet, after our walk this week, I found myself wishing that we did this more often!

Psalm 46:10a comes to mind:

Be still and know that I am God!

Be still! How hard that is sometimes…to turn off my brain and just be still. Be still…knowing that he is God. He is in control. He knows my every need. He loves me and wants the best for me. I can trust Him and His plan for my life. He is God…and I am not!

Psalm 46:11a goes on to say:

The Lord almighty is here among us.

Be still! Stop worrying. Stop trying to fix it yourself. Stop over thinking it. Stop getting discouraged when you can’t see the solution. He is God! He is the Lord Almighty and He is right here among us! He is able and we are not.

When was the last time you were quiet before the Lord?

Sometimes we can’t get away for a long walk (although I highly recommend it if you can!). Maybe you don’t even have a pasture or a creek. Pehaps you live among the busyness of city traffic. No matter where you are, all of us can find a quiet place…to be still before God even if it’s only in our own minds.

You can be still before God anywhere not just on a quiet walk. There were many days at my previous workplaces (I recently quit my job to be a stay at home mom and wife) when I would find myself overwhelmed. Sometimes I've felt that way in the middle of a busy place full of people. Sometimes it was because of the stress of the situation where I was, but more often than not it was because of the disarray of my own mind and heart. I don’t know how many days I have stopped and prayed in my mind for God’s peace to rule my heart. God heard my prayers. Once my mind was quiet and my heart was still before the Lord I could see His hand at work throughout the day. By doing this, I took the focus off of me and my circumstances and onto Him and His abilities. He is God!

Psalm 62:5-8:
I wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will
not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor come from God alone. He is my
refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.
O my people, trust in him at all times,
Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge.

I’m looking for more opportunities to be still before the Lord. I want to wait quietly before Him and receive all He has for me.

How about you? Is your mind and heart unsettled? Have you been going to other sources to find peace? Find a quiet place to be still before the Lord today even if it's only in your own mind. He is here among us! He knows you and your needs. You can pour out your heart to Him. You can trust Him. You can put your hope in Him.
He is God!

Running Out of Gas

Shortly after getting my driver’s license when I was 16 years old (many moons ago!) my mom sent me to a nearby town to run some errands for her. Before I left home she told me that her car was low on gasoline. She gave me a $50.00 bill (probably all that she had) and told me to be sure to fill up the gas tank before leaving our little Indiana town called Montezuma. She also told me to be sure to bring back the change from the $50.00 bill. Back in those days just $10.00 went a long way when fueling up the gas tank. Times sure change, don’t they?!

Anyway, I jumped in the car (I was always in a hurry!), drove right past the little gas station on the corner in Montezuma…and then past the second one (guess I was just in my “own little world”). I made it all the way to the 4-lane highway before I remembered that I was low on gas (guess I was just as forgetful back then). I was thinking about where I needed to go and what I needed to do. I decided to just keep driving because I knew there was another gas station only a few miles down the highway.

As I drove along the highway a classmate of mine came cruising past me. Troy was one of those boys who always liked to tease me…and everyone else. Not in a mean kind of way. More like in a lovingly, yet constantly irritating kind of way. J As he drove by, he pointed and laughed…having no idea about my gasoline woes.

Finally, I neared the A-framed gas station. And wouldn’t you know it, just as I could see it’s unique frame in the distance, my mom’s car started to putter (putt, putt, putt)! I started praying!

I let off the gas a little (putt, putt, putt) and hoped to coast into the gas station (putt, putt, putt), but as I turned off the highway and up a small hill in the road leading to the station the car just couldn’t make it (putt, putt, blah!). I was out of gas! I tried to start it again…and again…and again (just for the record, you should never do this!). I was still barely coasting. Then, I started rolling down the hill. It was about this time when I looked up only to see guess who? It was Troy driving out of the gas station. Once again he was laughing at me. I was embarrassed!

Troy jumped out of his vehicle and started pushing the car. Then, a couple more guys joined in. Before I knew it, they had pushed me to the gas pump. I filled up while Troy waited for me (maybe Troy wasn’t such a bad guy after all!).

I finished filling up, then headed inside to pay. When I came back out, I put the key in the ignition. Nothing! I tried again. Nothing! The engine just wouldn’t turn over! Troy and a couple of guys came to my rescue again. They started discussing the problem. They asked me to pop the hood. After some discussion and another couple of attempts. Someone said they knew a mechanic who lived just up the road. As they went to get him, I sat and waited.

The whole time they were gone, I thought about how I was wasting a lot of time…because I was in such a hurry. Here, I had a $50.00 bill in my pocket the whole time, but didn’t’ think to use it. How silly! I was wishing I could step back in time so that I could get the gas I needed back in Montezuma. I was stressed! Why had I been in such a hurry?

Eventually the mechanic came, fixed the problem and I was on my way. I wish I could say that I never ran out of gas again, but it isn’t true.

You know, it’s all too easy to “run out of gas” on this “highway” we call life too. How often do we get in a hurry and forget about “filling up our tank”? We know where we need to go and what we need to do, but forget about what and who's going to get us there. We forget about the "$50.00 bill" in our pocket.



I am NOT a morning person by any means. I have a tendency to get up in the morning at the last minute. On the days I work I find myself hurrying, hurrying, hurrying to get my son and myself ready and out the door. On the days I don’t work, I scamper about trying to get my son and myself together and breakfast on the table for my husband. Let’s not even talk about Sunday mornings before church. It can make for a stressful situation. Yikes!

It’s so easy to rush right into my day without “filling up” first. I think of all the things I need to get done. I know better. I’ve been told. The Bible is sitting right there on the counter full of riches untold (like the $50.00 bill in my pocket), yet I don’t open it because I’m in just such a hurry. I have a tendency to end up in my own little world (and check-list).

Before I know it, I end up depleted, stressed out, wasting time, wondering why I was in such a hurry; and maybe even a little embarrassed.

I’m out of gas. Putt, putt, putt…blah! I keep trying to "drive on", but even the smallest “hill” can feel like a huge obstacle. Friends and neighbors can push me and help me out, but there’s really only one thing that I need…some “gasoline”.

There I sit, wondering why I was in such a hurry. Wishing I would have gone to The Source for my “refueling” in the first place.

In the past few months I have been trying to get up extra early (like I said, I’m not a morning person so this takes real discipline for me!) to walk (to wake myself up first), read my Bible and pray. I don’t get up early every day, but when I DO it makes all the difference in the world.

My husband has noticed. He has commented, “You seem to have so much more energy when you get up early to walk and read in the mornings.” It’s true. I get less sleep, but more zest. The day goes better because I “filled up” first thing in the morning. My heart and mind start out in the right place. Even though I took time to read and pray, I somehow seem to end up with much more time throughout the day. Things just go better because my attitude is in check.

I’m not saying that you HAVE TO get up extra early every morning to spend time with God. What I AM saying is that we all need some quiet time alone with Him…basking in his Word and His presence; talking to Him, sometime every day.

When I don't get this alone time with the Lord things don't tend to go well for me. Other days, I get that much desired time alone with God, but the circumstances of life make me feel depleted, stressed and hurried. That's when I go to The Source to be "refueled".

One day this week, I was feeling overwhelmed and anxious. I had a lot to get done that day. I knew I needed to hurry, but I also knew that I needed some quiet time with God to be “refueled” before I could go any further. My heart and mind needed to get back in the right place. I had rushed into my day and was feeling depleted and stressed. I longed for some quiet time with Him (and as any mom with young children knows this is easier said than done!). I found a little time. After a few minutes down on my knees and in His Word, my whole perspective had changed. The rest of the day went better than expected. I didn’t “run out of gas” because I had gone to The Source. What a great feeling!

Where do you go when you’re “out of gas”? Sometimes we choose to go to our spouse or pick up the phone to talk to a friend or to that pail of ice cream in the 'frige. However, there is nothing else that can “fill you up” like Jesus can!

But as for me, I will sing about your power. I will shout with joy each morning because of your unfailing love. For you have been my refuge, a place of safety in the day of distress.
Psalm 59:16

More thoughts: the people who helped me (including Troy) could represent our friends and loved ones who lift us up in prayer...and push us to draw near to God. And the mechanic represents Jesus who can come in and fix the problem causing the “gas” to work in our lives as it should. :) Just some food for thought.

Unconditional Love Part 2

In my last post I shared a little bit about my 2 year old son, Andrew, and his beloved kitty, Cookie. In the post titled, “Unconditional Love” I compared the love Andrew has for Cookie to the love Jesus has for us. If you missed that post you can read it here now before reading on.

All week I kept thinking not only about the unconditional love Jesus Christ has for us, but also about the love He calls us to share with others!

In John 15:12 Jesus said, “I command you to love each other in the same way that I love you.”

As I wrote in my previous post:

…Andrew doesn’t care. He loves her without condition. Never once has he mentioned her looks…her skinny body, crooked leg or deformed ears. Never once has he questioned her intelligence. Never once has he compared her to other cats. Never once has he asked where she came from. Nope, all he cares is that she’s here now. He loves her and so those things don’t matter.



Oh, the love of a child!





Love without condition, reservation or ulterior motive.

As adults we can be so petty sometimes. We tend to look at the outward shell of a person and instantly sum up their worth. We see a "fault" in a person and we can’t see past it. It’s easy to forget that each of us were made in the image of Christ. That each of us were made for a specific purpose and plan. That God loves everyone…not just the most desirable, lovable and eloquent. We question. We compare. We judge. All the while hoping no one will notice our own shortcomings!

Proverbs 17:9 says, “Disregarding another person’s faults preserves love; telling about them separates close friends.”

We are called to love others as Christ loves us. What a high calling indeed! How might our lives look differently if we chose to truly love others the way Jesus loves us? If we chose to disregard another person’s faults instead of exposing (or dwelling on) them? If we loved like a little child?

"Don't just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate was is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other." Romans 12:9 & 10

Unconditional Love

A couple of months ago a stray cat showed up at our house. She was quite a site. She was undernourished, unloved and missing part of her ears (probably from being frostbit). My 2 year old son, Andrew, didn’t care. He loved her instantly. He carried her around like a baby and would say, “Aw, baby!”

One day he claimed her as his own, “That’s my kitty, Mommy.” I said, “What’s your kitty’s name?” Out of no where he said, “Cookie.” Hmm…don’t know where he came up with that one, but okay, that’s a great name, Cookie. She’s been Cookie ever since. Andrew started telling everyone about his adopted kitty, Cookie.

Two year old boys can be rather rough, you know? The way Andrew lavishes love upon Cookie isn’t always gentle, but she doesn’t seem to mind. She doesn’t hiss or scratch. She’s pretty easy going. I sense that she’s just glad that someone finally loves her, pets her, pays attention to her…and feeds her too. Andrew and Cookie have become great companions.

Here they are...
and no he's not choking her, even though it may look that way! :)
Just happily taking her along with him.

Since Cookie has been with us I’ve heard quite a few negative remarks about her looks, but none of them from Andrew. As I said before, she’s not the prettiest thing. However, as I also stated, Andrew doesn’t care. He loves her without condition. Never once has he mentioned her looks…her skinny body, crooked leg or deformed ears. Never once has he questioned her intelligence. Never once has he compared her to other cats. Never once has he asked where she came from. Nope, all he cares is that she’s here now. He loves her and so those things don’t matter.

Does that sound like someone else you know?

Like Andrew, Jesus doesn’t care about our looks, are short-comings or our intellect (besides he made us just the way we are!!!). He doesn’t compare us to others. He doesn’t care where we’ve been, what we’ve done or how ratty we look when we come to Him.

Sometimes we think we’ve gone too far, have done too much or are too bad to come to Him. The truth is, it doesn’t matter where we’ve been or what we’ve done because there is nothing too hard for Him! Besides, He already knows these things. He knows our hearts. Yet, He promises to love and forgive us! He wants to adopt us as part of His family…co-heirs with Him. Yes, He loves us unconditionally!

Unlike Andrew with Cookie, Jesus IS gentle with us. We can go to Him with any problem, an foible, any failure. Just as Andrew always has time for Cookie, He always has time for us…because He loves us. He wants to bless us, but we have to humble ourselves before Him.

“When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on him, he will lift you up and give you honor.”
James 4:10

How awesome is that?!

Do you believe that:
He loves YOU? He wants to make YOU clean? He is loving and gentle…and eager to forgive? Look at these verses:

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can’t, and life can’t. The angels can’t, and the demons can’t. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can’t keep God’s love away.”
Romans 8:38

“No matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can remove it. I can make you as clean as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are stained as red as crimson. I can make you as white as wool. If you will only obey me and let me help you…”
Isaiah 1:18-19a

“Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and merciful. He is not easily angered. He is filled with kindness and is eager not to punish you.”
Joel 2:12 & 13

I pray that each of you reading have already found the companionship of Jesus Christ AND are enjoying it much like Andrew and Cookie enjoy one another. Even if you’ve been “born again” it is all too easy to lose sight of who you are in Christ. I pray that you are experiencing the peace and satisfaction that a life spent with Him provides. I pray that your life has been filled with His love…and life-giving Spirit.

Perhaps you are feeling alone and searching for love much like I imagine Cookie was before she came to us. What’s stopping you from humbly running into the arms of a forgiving Savior? He’s gentle, kind and full of unconditional love. He wants to adopt YOU, become YOUR companion and make YOU great!

Now you can read Unconditional Love Part 2

Need someone to listen, have questions? E-mail me:
rachel.beran@yahoo.com