Random Rachel Returns

What do I write about.  Which thing? 

I've been stepping back...simplifying...allowing the refining. 

I've felt pressured to write (I mean, this blog is just sitting here...) and yet, I don't. 

Do I write about the things He's been showing me?  The way He's been chipping away at my character.  The way He's been renewing and restoring things lost...and giving what perhaps never was.  Understanding.  Change.  Newfound joy.

Do I write about the foster care classes?   The stuff we're learning.  The way God is opening my eyes and heart even more to just why He's called us to this.  The class content is absolutely fascinating and educational.  Not sure what I expected, but the classes are better than I thought they would be. 

Do I write about the licensing process and the preparation to care for a foster child?  It's quite a process.  Many steps, a lot of paperwork, home studies and preparation necessary.  Sometimes it seems taxing, then I remember the goal.  It's worth it!

Do I write about one of our classes?  About Managing behaviors? Assessing strengths and needs?  Maybe about gains and losses?

Do I write about our loss?  It was 2  years ago that we lost our baby Faith to miscarriage; our third miscarriage.  Two years!!  Wow.  We've grieved.  We've questioned.  We've processed.  We've accepted God's promises to be true.  He has a good plan for us and we can trust Him, even when we don't understand.  As we move ahead, we see more clearly how He has worked in it.  How He has grown us; prepared us; lead us.  In joyful anticipation we look forward to seeing what He will do next, in His timing and in His way. 

Do I write about our two precious little boys?  They're constantly changing, growing, learning, bringing joy to our lives and home.  What about my 3 year old asking me what breasts are for!  :)  Or his little sweetness telling me daily, "You're the best mom!  I'll never forget about you."  Melts my heart!  Or what about my 7 year old who's suddenly a big boy; changing, growing increasingly independent and pulling away from mommy in some ways.  He's a little man.  Time is passing.

And I realize more and more and more the need to be here, to be fully present.  I can't be attached to a computer screen or my iPhone.  I can't be running around to numerous commitments.  I could miss it.  I don't mean just missing them growing or missing my chance.  Even worse, I could miss their hearts.  THIS is my call: to love God and others, starting at home with my husband and sons.  To spread the gospel, starting here.

To spend time just being with them (and their daddy), modeling, loving, nurturing relationships...

maybe even get a BONUS ride in the wagon every once in a while.  :)

Do I write about the disconnect between what our culture (as a whole) says is important and how we actually live?  How are we, especially we Christians, living out what we say we believe?  We say our mission field begins at home and yet it seems to me that the people in our homes often tend to get the worst of us rather than the best; as if everyone else "out there" is more important.  This is the true test of love...in the every day. 

Or do I write a Random Rachel post to just say...I can't write that much here?  I guess so.  That's what I'm doing.  I'm saying I just can't write that much right now.  At least not here.  Not now.  It's just not the time.  Today is the day to Simplify...as He leads me/us to the next place of promise.  I know it's a good place to be.

What would you write about?  What is God showing you? 

Philippians 2:1-11

 

Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? ² Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.

³ Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. ⁴ Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

⁵ You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

⁶ Though he was God,^[a]
    he did not think of equality with God
    as something to cling to.
⁷ Instead, he gave up his divine privileges^[b];
    he took the humble position of a slave^[c]
    and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,^[d]
8     he humbled himself in obedience to God
    and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

⁹ Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor
    and gave him the name above all other names,
¹⁰ that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
    in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
¹¹ and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
    to the glory of God the Father.