What I Can't Do...

I was feeling a bit sorry for myself. It’s embarrassing to write, but it is true. Poor me. Why me?

We think, Noah, our youngest has a wheat intolerance. And I believe I do too, except I have often chosen to ignore it. I know I feel better when I cut wheat (and dairy) out of my diet. But, do you know how hard it is to eliminate wheat in our modern day American culture? Do you know that (at least it seem like) wheat is in almost every processed food available to us? That means none of our regular store bought breads, pastas, granola bars, pizzas, cookies, cereals, etc. Not only that, many of our condiments contain wheat and so do Campbell’s creamed soups…and the list goes on and on.

I enjoy cooking, but I’ve never learned to cook completely from scratch. No, I’ve always used those shortcuts that are so typical in most American kitchens. Do you know how much more time consuming it is cooking completely from scratch? This means relearning how to make almost everything.

Then, the thought hit me, “We will never be able to go out to eat again!” No more Pizza Hut or McDonald’s…not that either are healthy or even my favorite. Yet, they are convenient and to think that we can never eat at those restaurants again…ugh! How will we ever travel to Indiana to visit my family without a routine stop at McDonald’s?!

One day my mind was fixated on all the things we can’t eat and how I was going to readjust our “normal”. That night I read our oldest his nightly devotional. It retold the story of Eve in the garden. Hopefully, you’re familiar with this true tale. God told Adam and Eve they could eat from any of the trees in the perfect Garden of Eden except for one. The serpent tempted them. They ate from the forbidden tree.

In Andrew’s devotional it pointed out that there were many different kinds of trees in the garden. God told them they could eat from all those trees except for one. And yet, when they were tempted, they chose to eat the forbidden fruit. This was the beginning of the fall of man.

This spoke to my heart on so many different levels.

First, this was a reminder that God has provided many other food options for us. There are many other grains besides wheat. In addition, we have a deep freeze full of Angus Beef (best steaks, burger, roasts, even brats and wieners you ever tasted!). We have whole chickens, sweet corn, green beans, salsa, strawberries and jam in the freezer. We have our own canned applesauce, jelly and juice. We have chickens that lay fresh eggs for us every day. Not only that, there are tons of wheat free options at our local grocery store (there are more and more gluten free/wheat free options available these days than ever before), plus various meats, fruits and veggies.  No more McDonald's...so what?  I get healthy, nurishing food!

In reality, I just need to change my way of thinking…and do what is best and healthiest for my family.

Then, it hit me. This is like so many other things in my life. Sometimes my focus gets stuck on what I can’t have or what I don’t have, rather than on everything else God has provided for me.

I am so blessed! Yet, sometimes I focus on the stains on my living room carpet more than the little blessings from God who made them. Sometimes I focus on all the things that are “wrong” with the house, rather than all the things that are “right”. Sometimes I wonder why I can’t do this thing or that thing today, rather than “one of these days”, and I forget all that I do get to do today!

In November, I stepped down from my role on the Rise & Shine Women’s Retreat leadership team. It was a tough decision because I love that ministry. It is especially dear to my heart because I was one of original team members who helped start the conference. I enjoyed my role on the team, and found my God-given gifts were well put to use. And still, I felt God tugging at my heart to step back and focus more on my number one ministry, one He also called me to…home.

It seems like it should be easy to make a decision to simply “stay home” with the ones I love the most. It wasn’t…and still isn’t. Of course, it doesn’t makes sense to continue doing something, something I was doing for Him in the first place, when He has clearly showed me that it is time to step back. And still, at times, I feel a grief rise up in me over the loss of this role. I wonder why I can’t continue on (even though, in reality, the answer is right before me). I know He has called me into women’s ministry, so it doesn’t completely make sense. Yes, I’m still coordinating our local MOPS group, and I enjoy that. But, why would God want to “take this away from me”?

Then, I am reminded of all that He has given! I get to be a wife and a mom! I looooove being a wife and mom! I love my family! Even in a culture that generally devalues these roles, He does not!! He has chosen me for these role. What an honor! In this season of life, home is where I need to be most. My husband and sons are gifts from Him, whom I get to nurture. He isn’t taking anything away, He’s giving me an opportunity!! Although sometimes I feel so inadequate, He equips me for these daily roles, and is building my character for future ones.

Not only that, it’s amazing that I ever got to be on the Rise & Shine leadership team in the first place! What a wonderful experience! I learned so much about Him, myself and ministry. I will cherish the memories, remember the lessons and apply much of what I learned throughout the rest of my life…even now as I get to help encourage other moms at MOPS.

Furthermore, I see all He has provided. Not only has He provided a way to eternal life for me through Jesus Christ, He provides all I need for each day. I reflect on the destructive road I was once headed down, how He provided a way out, and gave me this life, one better than I had ever dared to dream of. I’m not perfect, I still fail Him and yet, He forgives me again (and again). He continues to love me.

Another thought: sometimes people get so fixated on what they can’t do as a Christian (or if they became one) that they loose sight of what God provides for those who love, honor and obey Him. They don’t want to give up what they want, but forget about the peace, hope and joy it will bring if they surrender their will to Him.

In reality, I don’t want my way, I want God’s best…in all areas of my life!

No more feeling sorry for myself. I must change my focus from what I can’t do and what I don’t have to all He has provided! I am grateful!!

Could you use a change of focus too?

…be content with what you have, because God has said,

 "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5

The Great Human Epidemic

Me. Me. Me. Mine! I want things my way... 

Selfishness. I call it the “great human epidemic”.

Those who have had or have ever worked with young children know it’s true…we were born selfish. Watch two toddlers play together. It's all about them. What do they say? “Mine!” It’s one of their first words. Their little worlds are centered around themselves, their wants and needs. Learning to share is tough. Unfortunately, it’s not something we outgrow.

My 4 year old posing "selfishness" for me. :)

My own selfish tendencies irk me sometimes. Just think:

I have accused my husband of being selfish - for not being sensitive to my needs. Seriously now, who’s selfish? Now, that’s the teapot calling the kettle black if I’ve ever heard of it.

I have called a loved one to check up on them - then, been irritated when they talked about themselves and didn’t ask how I was doing.

I have felt irritated (and sometimes slighted) because my perceived “needs” weren’t being met. Because I was not acknowledged, served, noticed or appreciated.

I have had a virus and have spent so much time at my “pity party” that I temporarily forgot to pray for my friends who have cancer (or are facing other major life issues).

I have felt depressed and lonely because I was so focused on myself, on my own issues and my lack of ability to deal with them. So focused on self that I forgot the Truth of God’s Word and His unlimited power to help me.

Have you ever been there?!
I sometimes feel insecure because I’m thinking of myself. Have you ever recognized insecurity as a form of selfishness? This truth was revealed to me through Susie Larson’s words in her book “The Uncommon Woman”. (I highly recommend that book!!) Why are we self-conscious and overly concerned with what others think of us? Why do we want to be perceived well? Why do we make choices in an effort to prove our self-worth? Because we’re thinking of ourselves. That’s called pride! Ugh! What a hard truth to swallow. Don’t think it’s true? Think about it some more. What is at the root of insecurity?

“If anyone would like to acquire humility…The first step is to realize that one is proud…If you think you’re not conceited, it means you are very conceited indeed.” C.S. Lewis
 In my younger years I was shy and overly self-aware. I was so self-conscious that I didn’t want to say or do anything in fear of saying or doing the “wrong thing”. Really I was selfish. I wasn’t concerned about how this made others feel or about making them feel comfortable. I was concerned about myself and my own feelings of discomfort.

I still have feelings of insecurity creep up inside, but when I do I try to shift my thinking onto others rather than self. I ask myself what others around me might be feeling? How can I be a blessing to someone else? What words may those in my life (and sphere of influence) need to hear me speak today? Who needs to know I have a listening ear?

I use to experience internal anxiety when going to church or any group setting. I didn’t like this feeing…and it just didn’t seem right to me. I realized it was a form of selfishness (focus on self). I decided to start praying before (and even during) church (and other meetings) for the Lord to help me to be a blessing to someone else there that day. I prayed that He would show me someone I could encourage or “love on” in that place. He did. And it took my focus off of myself and onto God and others. I continue to pray these prayers often. These days when those feelings of insecurity and anxiety start to creep up, I’m a lot quicker to recognize it as selfishness and take it to the cross.

Self*ish: adj. concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.
Self*ish*ness: n. exclusive regard to one's own interest or happiness; that supreme self-love or self-preference which leads a person to direct his purposes to the advancement of his own interest, power, or happiness, without regarding those of others.

Selfishness is a form of pride. Selfishness and pride lead to many other sins and losses. Think about it: marriages end, families and friends are divided, there is church dissension and separation because of selfishness and pride.

“I deserve better!” ~ “I deserve to be happy.” ~ Why should I have to say I’m sorry?” ~ “Why should I forgive them?” ~ “I’m right, they’re wrong.” ~ “They should try to see things my way.”
Jealousy. Arrogance. Criticism. All begin with selfishness and pride.

“Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18

God’s Word tells us over and over that we must humble ourselves. I believe if we were truly humble we wouldn’t think so selfishly…and humility is the opposite of pride.

Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble. Thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”


Wow! It goes on to say in verses 5-8, “You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to (or grasp or to use to His advantage). Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave…he humbled himself in obedience to God.” 

Oh, to be as humble and selfless as Jesus! Oh, how life would be different if we took the focus off or ourselves and onto His work - loving God and loving others. It sometimes feel like a lofty goal for this all-too-human human, but truly it’s within our reach. Later in Philippians 2 (vs. 13) it says that God is working in us, giving us the desire and power to do what pleases Him.

We can’t do it on our own. But, by God’s grace we can combat selfishness and live the Christian life - looking to Him, rather than to self, to do what pleases Him.

I do believe that selfishness is the human epidemic. But, there is hope! This epidemic has a cure. It’s called following Jesus. The more closely we follow Him; the more focused we are on Him (and not on self) the less room there will be for selfishness. Oh, and we can teach our children (even toddlers!) by living it in front of them. 
                                       

“If any of you want to be my follower, you must take up your cross and follow me.” Matthew 16:24

“Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace.” Romans 6:14

Freedom and Joy...

Looks a little different, doesn't it?!

How can you take the focus off of yourself today? It starts with looking at HIM, then others. Pray first, then act. Who needs you to reach out to them today? Who could use an encouraging word, a helpful hand, or a listening ear? How can you help to stop the “Great Human Epidemic”?  
 
How can I pray for you today?

Accepted

This morning I posted this on the Rise & Shine Women's Retreat Facebook page.  Wanted to share it with my blog friends as well.  A good reminder that I often need and thought you might too!

We have been chosen. He isn't still deciding. He isn't "sizing us up." He knows our flaws. He's seen our mistakes and outright sin. BUT..."God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Rom 5:8) Let's receive and believe His love, seeing ourselves as He sees us...completely accepted and equipped to SHINE!

We didn't choose Him, He chose us (John 15:16) and nothing can separate us from His love (Romans 8:38).

Let's choose to accept His acceptance, friends!

Lord, let the truth of Your love settle in our hearts.  Amen


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