Friday, July 19, 2013

Teachable Moments ~ Learning Together

He was stomping his feet, head back, crying at full octane when I picked him up and headed out the door of the chiropractor's office.  People staring and one lady giving me advice.  Ugh!

I asked myself, "What happened?"  The first two times I took my boys to the chiropractor with me they sat so nice, they played in the little corner of toys provided for them as the doctor adjusted me.  They didn't argue.  They weren't loud.  I was so proud of them.  But today was a new day.  A frustrating day.  An embarrassing one.

It is times like these when I hear the words of friends with grown children, "These are the best days of your life" play in the back of my head.  And, although I'm certain that these days when our children are little is a time to cherish, I'm equally as certain that there are a few details my friends have forgotten over time.  Ha! :-)

Noah was still wailing when we got outside.  There, on the sidewalk, we had a talk about how his (and big brother's) behavior was unacceptable and the consequences of such actions (in 3 year old terms, of course).  He calmed down.

By the time we crossed the street and headed into the grocery store he was fine.  In fact, he and his brother were as good as gold as I shopped.  We picked up just a few items and headed to the counter.  The cashier commented on their cute, blond curls and asked if my "good little boys" could have a sucker.  They politely said, "Thank you" for their free treat as we headed out the door as the cashier commented on their manners.

Oh my!  In mere minutes I went from looking like an incompetent mom to a grand one.

A few years ago, when my oldest was the youngest one's age, I would have been mortified when such a breakdown (like the one in the chiropractor) took place.  I would have felt terrible about my mothering skills and the behavior of my child.  In turn, I would have patted myself on the back when my child behaved well.  Those things did cross my mind, but this day I refused to let my mind and feelings go there.  Yes, I was embarrassed in the chiropractor's office (who wouldn't be, right?) and I was pleased when they "got it right" in the grocery store.  But I have learned, even though it's not easy, that I have to separate my identity not only from my child's behavior, but from what other people think of me...and even what they think of my children.

I know the truth.  I know that I love my sons and am trying to teach them rightly.  I know that my boys aren't bad boys.  I know they're just learning and it's my job to teach them.  Much like I'm leaning and it's God's job to teach me.  I know that God loves imperfect me and my imperfect kids.  He sees it all.  He knows our hearts.  And He's the One that we answer to.    

I also know that I love my kids too much to let behavior like that go.  So I ceased the teachable moment and chalked it up to experience, for my sons and myself.  And I thanked God for opportunities like this to see how He is teaching and growing us.

What I learned came in handy a week later when my little boy was running through the grocery store, just seconds after I told him not to, and knocked over a display of hot sauce...only feet away from the owner of the store.  Sigh.  It's an ongoing process, friends.

Now I'm praying they will behave the next time we go to the chiropractor! ;)  If not, I know God will remind us of this lesson or teach all of us a new one.

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."  
Proverbs 22:6
(What a comfort to know this Truth!)

Look at those sweet, little, dirty faces!
Thankful we are learning together!
Today I am joining Jill Savage for the Third Thursday Blog Hop.  Okay, so it's Friday.  Better late than never, right?!  ;-)
Click on the link below to check out what others had to say about today's topic,
"No More Perfect Kids".


12 comments:

  1. Ha ha ha, such is my life. I love it tho that our identity is not wrapped up in how our kids' behave or what other people think of us or our children. You hit the nail on the head there..I'm going to write that down to remember that specific phrase! I often forget that when my older two are fighting (constantly), or when my youngest and his sister run thru the aisles at Walmart and I'm yelling at them to stay with me!

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    1. Thanks for stopping by and reminding me that I'm not alone, Maria! :) Maybe I should write that phrase down myself!!

      Hugs,
      Rachel

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  2. Oh have I been there...I recall J.D. going upstairs at the Decorah Christian bookstore and then hiding. The lady was not happy!! But there again God had such a powerful lesson for all of us! So thankful He opened my eyes to see it!

    This was a great post! And you are a great mom!!

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    1. Ha! Jill, I remember that story. We've all been there, right?! It's just when it happens you feel like you're the ONLY one ever! :) It's amazing to me how much God teaches us through parenting...if our eyes are open to see it.

      Love Much,
      Rachel

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  3. I always smile at moms whose kids are misbehaving in public (ie. being kids) ... because we have ALL been there.

    Fondly,
    Glenda

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    1. Oh, thank you for that reminder, Glenda! And for being THAT lady, instead of the person who stares or gives dirty looks or tries to give advice (like the lady in the story above)! I have been in the store alone and seen someone else's child misbehaving, I just smile to myself, pray for her and thank God it isn't me (this time!). ;)

      Blessings,
      Rachel

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  4. Thanks for being real! It has been a few years, but I remember leaving the grocery cart and walking three ornary boys out of the store where we had a talk. Most of the time we went back in and behaviour was better. But I remember a time when this momma was done, to weary to give it another try. When they wanted milk and cereal the next morning, they knew why we didn't have it. We learn! Thanks for sharing and reminding us to not be so hard on ourselves or too prideful about our children's behaviour. HUGS

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    1. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment, Christine. It's always good to be reminded that this is a "normal" part of mothering. You're a great encouragement to me!

      Big Hug,
      Rachel

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  5. Your post was great. It made me chuckle right out loud. Remember when Zac was little? Of course you don't, neither do I! He was always so much bigger than other kids his age. (For those of you who don't know, he was twice the size of most kids his age. And I might add twice as wonderful to me!)But I'm sure you remember when he'd get upset and cry! The more I tried to quiet him the louder he got! You are a wonderful Mommy!

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    1. Deena, your comment made me smile! I remember Zac with his lip stuck out, arms crossed and soooo determined. He was such a lovable kid, though. :)

      Love You Much,
      Rachel

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  6. This is my favorite part of your post, "But I have learned, even though it's not easy, that I have to separate my identity not only from my child's behavior, but from what other people think of me...and even what they think of my children.

    I know the truth. I know that I love my sons and am trying to teach them rightly. I know that my boys aren't bad boys. I know they're just learning and it's my job to teach them. Much like I'm leaning and it's God's job to teach me. I know that God loves imperfect me and my imperfect kids. He sees it all. He knows our hearts. And He's the One that we answer to.

    I also know that I love my kids too much to let behavior like that go. So I ceased the teachable moment and chalked it up to experience, for my sons and myself. And I thanked God for opportunities like this to see how He is teaching and growing us."

    I love it! Thank you for those wonderful words of wisdom! I only wish I could bring them to mind when I am struggling with a disobedient, disrespectful, angry or rude child. You have helped me consider my ways more deeply.

    Thank you,
    Melanie@getahoot.com
    - See more at: http://beranville.blogspot.com/2013/07/teachable-moments-learning-together.html#sthash.DueXrfUU.dpuf

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    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment, Melanie. What an encouragement YOU were to me today! I believe we need this reminder again and again...and again and again. :)

      Thanks also for choosing to follow my blog. Looking forward to connecting with you more in the days to come.

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