Why Have We Chosen Foster Care and/or Adoption? PART 2

If you missed my last post Read Part 1 HERE.

The thing is when we say we're pursing foster care and adoption many people respond with something like, "Oh, how exciting!"  Others respond, "Oh!" with a confused and concerned look on their faces, but we'll address that later.  For now, let's address the "exciting" comment. 

You know, it is kind of exciting in the sense that we're following God's lead; we're going to have the opportunity to invest in the lives of children; there is a huge need and, God willing, we're going to do something rather than just talk about it.  Yep, that sounds kind of exciting, right?  But, the truth is, most often good, worthwhile things are also not easy things. They stretch you. They require self-sacrifice. It's hard work. 

At first, it was all a little scary. Yes, we had faith (and still do). Apart from that faith, this all seemed crazy.  Although we have nothing to hide, having "the government" invade (not really, but that's how it felt at first) our home and analyze our every move, seemed a bit taxing and intrusive. Undergoing background checks, turning over our tax records, going through 10 weeks of 3 hour classes ~ a one hour drive away, piles of paperwork and 3 home studies, all seemed inconvenient and a bit overwhelming. We worried about the safety of our own children. We were concerned that "they" would discriminate against us because we're a bit "outside the box"...conservative Christians, homeschoolers, etc. We're not dealing with a Christian agency. In fact, that's not even an option in Iowa. I wish it were.

As time has passed and we've connected with the people of the system, it doesn't seem like they're "out to get us". The more we learn, the more we understand just why all of these rules, guidelines and procedures are in place.  It's to protect the kids. So I'm thankful they're in place, even if it does seem a bit crazy at times.  I really question how any unstable couples/individuals ever manage to make it through without being detected. 

So pursuing foster care and adoption is about as exciting as being an overseas missionary. It's not glamorous.  But it is important, necessary, gospel spreading...and not for everyone.

Announcing you're doing foster care/foster care adoption isn't like announcing a pregnancy.  Although we will welcome a little one with joy into our home, LORD willing, for all the joy and excitement we will feel, that little one will most likely feel just as much sorrow and loss.

You see, every foster child in the system represents a broken family.  It's sad.  For every child we have an opportunity to nurture and protect there is a devastating reality of neglect and/or abuse behind them being in foster care in the first place.  There's nothing exciting about that.  Every child, no matter their age, wants to be with their birth family.  This is something we knew, but understand a lot better now that we've taken the PS-MAPP classes.  Although it's wonderful to have the desire to help children, the very fact that foster care (and adoption) is even necessary is a sad reality.  As foster and adoptive parents we will need to help children work through much pain, confusion, loss and grief. 

When you have a better understanding of the things many innocent children are facing in this modern day world, your heart can't help but feel burdened for them, these beloved children of God. 

No matter what type of orphan care, foster care or adoption you pursue or support, it represents the dark realities of this fallen, broken world where children are mistreated or unwanted or abandoned...or all of the above.  And there are repercussions. 

International adoption, domestic adoption, foster care adoption, embryo adoption...all come with their own set of challenges and triumphs.  All are vital and important in nurturing LIFE!  If you're not familiar with any of these types of adoptions, I urge you to Google them (I added a link to embryo adoption since it is perhaps the least well known option). 

I've had a few people ask how they can help us through this foster care/adoption process.  My first request is PLEASE PRAY!  Pray for:

Us (our family) ~ for protection, wisdom, strength, open hearts that will follow the LORD's leading and move as He directs us, and only as He directs us, so that He may be glorified.

Children in foster care and those who will be entering care, all of them, but especially for those the LORD will bring to us.  We are trusting God with every detail!

Parents and families of the children in foster care ~ as I mentioned in my previous post many of these parents faced the same neglect and abuse as children themselves.  The cycle needs to be broken.  Many are facing addictions, incarceration or mental health issues.  They need to know that there is hope and a better way.  They need JESUS.

Social/Case Workers, Licensing Workers, Adoption Workers, Judges, etc ~  They have a huge weight on their shoulders and the decisions they make effect the lives of many.

Secondly, I ask you to pray about getting involved.  I'm NOT saying everyone should do foster care or adopt.  I AM saying: find a way you can help.  (Get ideas on how you can help by following the links below)

We understand today, even more than when we started this process, there is a great need for Christians to step in and be the nurturing arms of Christ.  Not so we can pat ourselves on the back.  So that we can live out the Gospel, impact lives and honor God.

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. James 1:27 (NLT)

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I recently started following the Jason Johnson Blog.  Jason Johnson and his wife are adoptive parents and foster care providers.  He has some wonderful insights.  Here are a few links I highly recommend; ones that echo my own heart!

Orphan Care, the Church and Evangelical Fads (Zeal without Knowledge is dangerous and Orphan Care is not a Fad)
Orphan Care: You Can't Do Everything, But You Can Do Something (Can't do foster care or adopt at this time?  Other ways YOU can support children ~ modern day orphans ~ and adoptive families). 

Adoption: Giving a Family, Not Just Getting a Child

Once you are on Jason's blog you will find all kinds of other links to good, relevant blog posts!!

 

Why Have We Chosen Foster Care and Adoption? PART 1

We've already heard the typical crazy comments and questions about foster care and adoption from the foster care system...and we don't even have our first placement yet.  Heck, we haven't even finished the classes yet. 

It's clear most people don't have a great understanding of how the foster care system works or about the kids it helps. 

Allow me to start by clearing up a few misconceptions and maybe answering some of your questions.

The children in foster care are not bad kids.  They have done nothing wrong.  They're not second rate citizens or "less than" our biological children or anyone else's.  Although they've been victims of neglect and/or abuse and these things effect their development, they were not necessarily born that way.  They did not ask to be born into dysfunctional families or to parents who need to work on their own issues.  They didn't do anything to deserve the treatment they've received.

Just as their are misconceptions about the children, there are certain "labels" put on all birth parents who end up with kids in the foster care system.  But I'm rarely quick to slap a label on anyone.  Don't judge someone until you've walked a little while in their shoes.  Many of these parents were victims of the same things their kids are now going through.  It's a cycle that needs to be broken.  Many of these parents need mentors to give them hope and show them a better way.

Even though there are obvious reasons that children are taken from their birth parents and put into foster care, it doesn't change the fact that those kids still want to be with their parents.  No matter what their parents have done or how dysfunctional they're home life was, every kid wants to be with his/her parents.  Likewise, many of these parents love their kids and fight to get them back.

The point of foster care is not to rip families apart.  In fact, from everything I'm learning, there has to be real, solid evidence of abuse and/or neglect.  I know you hear of "horror stories" of kids being taken from their parents when they shouldn't have been.  From what I am learning, that is not the norm.  In fact, DHS doesn't want to remove the children and work to do everything they can to keep families together.  Once the kids are taken into care, the goal is reunification of the children with their birth family.  Only when it becomes clear (usually after multiple chances) that reunification is impossible are the parental rights terminated and the children put up for adoption.  That's why many of the children you hear of who need adopted out of foster care are older children.

That being said, not all the kids in foster care are teenagers.  In fact, from what we've learned, 43% of the children in foster care in the state of Iowa, where we live, are 0-5 years old!  The reason the child welfare service is always advocating for foster teen care and adoption is because there are so few people willing to take teenagers, especially teenagers with special needs.  So many of these kids stay in foster care homes or group homes and eventually "age out" of the system without a family.  Sad, but true. 

We have two young sons, 7 and 4.  Because we are thinking of their safety and well-being, and what child(ren) will work best in our little family, we are hoping to foster young children.  This isn't some selfish, self-protective stance.  Actually, in our PS-MAPP classes they have emphasized "knowing your family", really assessing your family and knowing what would/would not work best for/with your family, before taking placements.  This is better for everyone involved, including the foster children who do not wish to be moved again and again.  I have utmost respect for people willing to foster older children and that may be something we do in the future, but, for today, we're in "little kids" zone around here.  We hope that some day we will have the opportunity to adopt out of the foster care system. 

This is not PLAN B.  When I was a teenager I knew I wanted to adopt some day, whether I had my own biological children or not.  I felt strongly about it.  I wanted to help hurting children, to show them the love of Christ. After Alan and I were married I mentioned the idea of adoption to him, he didn't like the idea.  I was shocked because up to that point we had agreed on so many things.  I decided that I wouldn't nag him or even mention it again, I would just pray.  And that's what I did.  Four years later, he said out of the blue one day that had been thinking...maybe we should adopt some day.  GOD is amazing!!

We're not pursuing foster care/adoption because we had three miscarriages and have given up on having more biological children.  We don't know whether we will have more biological children or not.  Only God knows the answer to that question.  We're open to what He has for us.  We believe that children (ALL children) are a blessing from the LORD.

Psalm 127:3 Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb (*any womb) is a reward. 4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth. 5 How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed When they speak with their enemies in the gate. *extra words added by me

I thought adoption was something we would pursue later, when our children were older, especially if we went the foster care route.  But last year God changed my heart and mind.  Over the whole year He was working on me.  It seemed like everywhere I turned, everything I heard or saw was about adoption.  And I kept hearing about children in foster care.  Still, I was leaning toward the idea of international adoption.  However, the first time (last year) that I mentioned this stronger tug on my heart, the idea that the time might be now not later, to Alan, he wasn't enthusiastic.  I asked him to begin praying about it, which he did. 

As the year proceeded (we) kept processing and praying and it still felt like the Lord was leading that way.  I couldn't shake it.  The tug eventually became a burning conviction.  Alan and I had several in depth conversations about it.  In one of those conversations he expressed a desire to adopt children right here in Iowa.  Together we decided that foster care was something we should do; that we could also care for and love children that we may never have the opportunity to adopt.  In fact, we felt God directing us that way.  We've always known God calls us to care for the widows and orphans. These are our modern day orphans.

Would it be easier not to do foster care and/or adopt?  Sure seems like it.  But what blessings would we miss?  What about the children?  Is there anything a person/family could do to impact the course of another person's life than this?  Most things worth doing are not easy.  We're moving ahead in obedience, peace and with joy.  We know God has good plans for us and our family! 

Our understanding of foster care has changed since we started this process.  We have learned so much...and we continue to.  The reasons we began were perhaps a bit different than the reasons we're continuing to pursue it.  We can see more clearly now why God has called us to this!

But I will share more about that next time.  I have so much more to say.  This has to be more than one post...

Join me next time.  :)

"Teach me how to live, O LORD.  Lead me along the right path...I am confident I will see the LORD's goodness while I am here in the land of the living.  Wait patiently for the LORD.  Be brave and courageous.  Yes, wait patiently, for the LORD."  Psalm 27:11, 13

At the beginning of the year I chose my words for the year 2014.  God gave me: FEAR NOT.  :)

When You Dare to Ask God What He Wants...

I utter, “Use me, Lord.” “Show me your will, Lord.”  “I want to honor you, Lord.”  Do I mean it? 

What about my agenda.  My plan.  My way.  My dreams.  All good things, many of them sought with a desire to glorify Him.  I ask for what I want.  But I’m not God.  And I don’t know His plans.  What do I know of His ways?  How often do I dare to ask God what He wants? Really ask Him…and wait to hear His answer.  Hands open to whatever He has for me; even when it looks much different than what I thought…or planned…or dreamed. 

What about when His honor comes through the unexpected?  Or when it’s uncomfortable.  Or scary.  Or downright hard.  Or it involves suffering.  What then?   Do I ask for that?  Or do I keep my hands in tight fists, clinging to what I “know” is God’s best for me, and my loved ones?   It’s human nature to want “easy”, “happy” and “comfy cozy”.    

But, most often, when I ask Him what He wants…and actually wait to hear what He says, He doesn’t say “easy”.  He often calls me to the hard.  To things that seem beyond my reach.  To things that stretch my faith and cause me to rely on Him more.  

I see Christians do it all the time.  We say we want to be used of God.  What we often mean is we want the spotlight; the glory.  We want to do the good things on our agenda…and invite God to join us.  We may  look mature on the outside.  But the LORD sees us as little children with fingers in ears, singing, “La la la.”  Only willing to hear what we want to hear.  We want to hear words like blessings…and good gifts…grace and joy.   

The trouble: blessings, good gifts, even grace and joy often come in unexpected wrappings. 

Lately, my LORD has bee doing some serious sanctifying work in me.  Preparing me for His next place of promise (a Susie Larson quote).  I've watched Him do His work in my husband's heart as well.  Obvious and glorious!  He's doing a new thing...or two or three.

As my husband and I venture into the world of becoming foster parents, we face so many unknowns.   It’s exciting.  It can also be nerve wracking apart from faith.  He’s leading this way, no doubt about it.  We dared to ask.  We also dared to listen.  He answered.  So we step forward in faith and obedience, taking God at His word; choosing to lean on Jesus; humbly dependent.

We don’t expect easy.  We expect challenges.  But we’re compelled; compelled to help children.  We’re compelled to love with open hearts and arms; pouring out the love He’s so abundantly given us.  So many hurting kids, we can’t sit with eyes closed and hands clinched, clinging to our desire for unchallenged lives.  Growth stunted.

Honestly, it seems it would be easier not to.  Things are good and comfortable here.  Why mess with a good thing?  It will be work.  It will cost us something.  It will be inconvenient at times.  But what if we don’t?  Who will help?  There is a critical need and Jesus is calling us to intervene!  We can't help everyone, but we can help someone. 

If  we chose self-centeredness what seemingly haphazardly wrapped gifts would we miss?  True blessings given and received, designated for us and them, for such a time as this.  I shudder to think of passing it up for the sake of complacency.

Would it really be easier to say no?  Is not the center of God's will the best and safest place to be?  Christians often say it.  But do we live it?  We can be missionaries, His ambassadors, right here, right now, in our own home, in our own community.  But it requires faith steps.

I look ahead in anticipation of what He’s about to do.  Thankful for what He's already done.  Joyful.  Expecting.  Trusting.  Without fear.  Hands wide open and lifted up.  When doubt and fear and the Enemy’s lies rear their head once more, I will again choose faith.  Not because I am good.  Because He is good and I know I can trust Him. And truly my heart aches to help; to do His will. 

Will you dare to ask Him what He wants of you?

Will you pray for us as we move forward in faith? 

Will you please pray for the 450,000 children currently in foster care in the United States? 

Remember God doesn't call the equipped.  He equips the called.

 

"...Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear.  For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him."  Philippians 2:12-13

 

 You might also like this post:  Want An Easy Life?

Want an Easy Life?

My three year old said, "It's not easy for me, Mommy, so I don't want to do it.  Okay?"

Let's admit it.  Most of us, like my three year old, want an easy life.  We like to avoid conflict.  We want things to go well for us and those we love.  We want to be happy, relaxed and carefree.  No worries.  No problems.  Just easy.  It doesn't sound all that complicated, now does it?  And, yet, most of us have not found our place in that state of bliss we dream about.

Why?  Well, there's a little thing called reality.  Reality is, life is complicated and often hard.  We live in a messed up world where things happen.  Things we don't like.  Things we can't control.  People disappoint us.  You know what I'm talking about; you live here. 

Although I am blessed, my life just isn't perfect.  Yours, most likely, isn't either.

We believers and followers of Jesus Christ are not immune to the difficulties of life.  In fact, Jesus told us, "In this life you will have trouble." (John 16:33b).   

Yet, we seem to be surprised when troubles come.  As if somehow being a Christian makes us exempt to the realities of this life. I know I'm guilty!!  I want the hard stuff to stop, the pain to cease and for God to answer my prayers the way I want and...right...now!  Because it's hard and uncomfortable...and, the truth is, I just don't want to deal with it.

The LORD didn't promise us an easy life.  He did promise us that He would go with us and help us through the difficulties. 

When you go through deep waters, I will be with  you.  When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior..." Isaiah 43:2-3

Our pastor shared this a while back, I'm not sure where he got it, but it's brilliant and I don't think he would mind if I shared it here:

The E'z of Discipleship (get the word play, E's and Ease):

I Expect death and sorrow,

I Embrace it as God's will,

I will Endure it, with God's help,

I will Enjoy it as God sanctifies me in the process and equips me for better service.

Expect death and sorrow?  That's a hard pill to swallow, isn't it?!  But, like I said, it's part of this life. It's reality.  Still, look at what comes next...if we learn to embrace it as God's will, we will be able to endure it with His help.  We can even enjoy it as we allow Him to sanctify us (to make us holy, more like Jesus) in the process (WOW!) and equip us for better service.

Anyone who's been through something tough knows how we react to it makes all the difference in the world.  We can become bitter or better.  We can give up or press on in His strength.  We can doubt or choose faith...even when it just doesn't make any sense to us, because we believe what He said.

I find the following verses fascinating:

While Jesus was here on earth, He offered prayers and pleading, with a loud cry and tears, to the one who could rescue him from death. And God heard his prayers because of His deep reverence for
God. Even though Jesus was God's Son, he learned obedience from the things He suffered. Hebrews 5:7-8

Jesus, God's own beloved Son, cried out to God, His Loving Father, to rescue Him from the painful death He was about to face.  God heard Him.  He heard!  But He did not answer the way Jesus wanted Him too.  Why?  Because He had the bigger picture in mind.  Just as Jesus endured His cross, in complete submission to the Father's will, so are we!

For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation.  II Cor 7:10

God hears the prayers of us, His people.  But our loving Father is more interested in our sanctification than He is in our comfort level.  He knows what's best for us.  The question is, do we trust Him?  

I know from experience that it's often in the difficult, uncertain, sorrowful and sometimes scary things of life that I've learned to humbly depend on Him.  It is in these things that I have had to choose to trust Him. When I submit my will to His will, my whole perspective changes.  I realize that I truly don't want a life of ease, but a life of E'z!  I want to grow and become more like Jesus.

How about you?  Do you want an easy life?  Or will you choose to submit your will to His?  His answer to your prayers may not look the way you want, but He will sanctify you in the process and equip you for better service as His faithful disciple.

I heard someone say something like this once, "You have something BIG to overcome because your purpose is BIG and God is trying to do a work in you through it.  Keep going.  Walk in faith."  And, I add, choose to do so again...and again...and again.  It's not easy, but it's worth it.

Compelled ~ ReNEWed Life '12

Have you ever had something so big happen in your life that you have a hard time summing it up? I have…yet again. Too often I get caught up in writing the “perfect” words, in telling it all. Today, I’m going to be easy on myself, and simply write what I have on my heart. What better?

Last Saturday, August 11^th I was at ReNEWed Life Women’s Event. If you missed my last post, this is a little of what I wrote about it beforehand:

Just a few months ago, this event didn’t exist and, as far as I know, nothing like it has ever taken place in our small community. My friend, Jill, and I had helped organize a big women’s retreat in a larger town an hour and a half from home for a few years. Although it was such a blessing, at different times, each of us had felt God leading us to step off that leadership team. One day afterwards, we discussed a prompting in our hearts to “do something” more for the women right here in our rural community...As we prayed about it, the Lord clearly opened doors for National Speaker and Author Lisa Whittle to come to our rural area, small town Cresco, Iowa.

I’m leaving out many details and many displays of God’s faithfulness…I can hardly wait to watch Him display His glory (again) next Saturday at this women’s event that two farmer’s wives and others in rural Iowa envisioned at His prompting! And we will give Him all the praise and glory!

The ReNEWed Life Leadership Team with guest speaker,

Lisa Whittle: Kim, Teresa, Lisa, Jill, Rachel (me)

What a blessed day it was, from small details to big! His presence was strong and sweet. The words He spoke through Lisa Whittle were powerful. He also spoke through the two local gals who shared their testimonies. The worship music was harmonious. In fact, I still can’t get the song “10,00 Reasons (Bless the Lord)” out of my head. He even ministered to us through the food and décor.  He showed up, answered prayers and did His work, as I knew He would.

I have found myself in tears of rejoicing several times since. I am thankful that we were obedient and did the work He called us to. That we chose to step out in faith. We are beneficiaries. HE is exalted!

The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.

I Thessalonians 5:24   

The joy of being part of something like this goes way beyond that one day. In the preparation and praying beforehand He displays His greatness. We realize that we can not exhaust His resources and the things that He does through us are so beyond our abilities without Him. We get to praise Him for all the things that the one attending never gets to see, His sanctification starts in us. Although it’s work, it’s the greatest joy to have a “behind the scenes” view, to see and bask in His glory! Afterwards, I stand in awe of all that just happened…in small town Cresco, Iowa!

The night before the event, we got to meet and sit down with the speaker, Lisa Whittle, someone I’ve respected through her blog and books. And, yet, I wondered would her words match her life? Turns out she is an absolute gem, someone who ministers to your heart both with and without words. Down to earth, personable, authentic, Christ driven. 

That night, we followed Lisa to a local rehab where she spoke. A foretaste of what was to come at ReNEWed. That night and the next, the words God spoke through her pierced my soul, left my heart aching in a good way. The words caused me to think deeper. They stuck with me beyond that day and God began to change me (again) from the inside out. He's still doing it, days later.

Before she left, she asked if the day met my expectations. I stumbled over my words, but the answer was "Yes!" You see, we did all of this preparing to minister to women in our community, to impact lives with the Truth. Turns out, I’m one of those women.

Lisa encouraged me to keep on, in a way that is rare. Then, she wrote in my copy of her book {w}hole to keep being brave. I thought she was the bold one, now she calls me brave? I felt the boldness rise up in me even more. I need to be, want to be, must be brave! She leads by her example.

I have several things from the event that I want to share with you, my blog friends. Instead of trying to cram it all in one post, I hope to spread it out over several. My first series! :)

Lisa Whittle spoke to us about Holes and the God who makes us Whole. I want to share how God spoke to me through each message. And, yet, today for my first post about ReNEWed Life Women’s Event ‘12, I feel compelled to write about this (to be honest, it kind of surprised me):

After Lisa’s last message, she shared with us about Compassion International, a Christian child advocacy ministry. She said something that spoke to me in more ways than one, God wants compelled believers, not just ones that are stirred. You can be stirred and never do a thing, we must be compelled to step out (this applies to so many things in our Christian lives...including starting women's conferences). She said we need to open our eyes to the things going on in this world.

The words of the Casting Crowns song instantly started ringing through my head, “Break our hearts for what breaks yours”. The truth is, it’s easier to live blind. I realize children wait in orphanages, ravaged with fear, head lice and disease, bellies empty and hearts hollow when they lay their head down at night. Other children get sold into sex trafficking and their little bodies are sold over and over, day after day. Some suffer in war-torn countries, barefoot, thirsty, hopeless…with no one to tell them where real hope is found. Others live right under my nose who mock His name with their words and actions. Does it break my hear, really?  What am I doing about it? What should I be doing? 

I already sponsor a child through a different organization. How often do I even remember to pray for her? Am I so busy building my happy, plush lifestyle that I forget how others suffer...how blessed I am...how spoiled really? That this life is not about me. I pour money into new furniture, paint, landscaping, yet another toy for my children who have an ample supply. Never thinking of the one without…or to give thanks to the Giver who supplies all of it, or at least not nearly enough.

It’s easy to get stirred up about these things at a women’s conference. How compelled am I? Enough to do something, something that might cost me something or push me beyond my comfort? Do I truly want to be His hands and feet? Not only to throw a little money at it, but to do the Jesus work, even when it's hard and not so glamorous?  

Break my heart for what breaks yours, Lord. Compel me to help. Then, make me brave enough to follow through.

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this:

to look after orphans and widows in their distress and

to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

James 1:27

Next time: what God showed me about facing my truth through Lisa’s message “Wholeness Starts in the Heart”.  

Until then, live compelled, be brave and do the work!

Wasting Time

If there’s one thing I hear every day, many times throughout the day, it’s, “Mom, watch this!”  Sometimes it’s, “Mom, look at this.”  Either way, it’s often and coming from both boys.  The two year old follows after the five year old, watching his every move and seeking to imitate it.  He even calls me “Mom” (rather than “Mommy”) just like big brother.  They are busy, rarely sit still, and they want me to take notice, “Watch this.”  Sometimes they mess up that cartwheel, perfect move or rock throw.  That calls for a “do over”.  I watch again.

(My boys throwing rocks in the creek)

There are days when I almost get tired of hearing, “Watch this” yet one more time.  But I remember how fleeting these days are, these days that these two precious little boys are most often under my feet,  wanting my every attention and seeking after only my approval and admiration.  They are growing quickly.  In a blink they will be out of the house, spending time with others that interest them more than dear ol’ mom and entertaining a much larger audience.  This season, my time with them as little boys, is slipping by.  So I watch and admire and say, “Wow, good job!”  I’m not wasting time, I’m building relationships with them, relationships that I pray will last well into their adulthood.  And I am teaching them along the way.  It matters.

God’s been teaching me some things lately (when is He not?!) too...about time.

 I detest wasting time, yet I do it more often than I care to admit.  It’s so easy to spend time.  Once it’s spent, there’s no getting it back.  I have one life.  There are no “do overs”.  I need to be intentional.  I need to spend my time wisely, doing the things He’s called me to do. 

“…lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God.”  Ephesians 4:1

I make excuses.  I look at life circumstances.  I get caught up in the daily things of life and lose sight of heaven.  I waste the time God has given me.

Sure there is a time and place for relaxation and leisure.  But more often I want to be busy, kind of like my boys, full of energy and zest, rarely sitting still.  Not for busyness sake, nor for the world’s admiration.  I think sometimes in our culture people seek to be busy in order to appear fulfilled and in an attempt to prove their life matters.  I don’t want to be busy just to be busy.   I simply want to  live intentionally, doing the work He’s called me to.  I want to say, “Watch this, Lord” as I seek to obey Him, desiring to please and honor Him with my life.  I want to look ahead to eternity and the rewards awaiting there.  Not striving in my own power, but living in His. 

When I do sit, I want it to be in His presence, building relationship with Him.  Not only for our relationship sake, although that is important, but also so I can teach my sons how to do the same.  They follow in my footsteps, even more closely than my two year old follows big brother’s.  And I’m finding that my sphere of influence is even greater than I originally thought, reaching far beyond the confines of my home walls.  The world is watching…my friends, neighbors, loved ones, even acquaintances.   I want them to see Him in me.  I want to follow His every move, to imitate Him as I build relationships with others.  The only way I can do this is by getting to know Him intimately, being still before Him in prayer and Bible study.  It takes time.  But that is never wasted time.

I want to listen as He says, “Look at this” when I’m in His Word.  Or “Watch this” as He clearly displays His glory in my very ordinary day and life.  Then, I can give Him adequate thanks and praise. 

My time here is so short, fleeting.  It won’t be long before this season has passed.  I don’t want to just spend time, I want to cease every opportunity!  And I believe God takes notice of it. It matters.

Maybe this post is only for me, but I wonder if there are others out there who feel convicted about wasting their God given time.  How about you?  Are you living a life worthy of your calling, living intentionally?  Maybe it’s time to make some changes.  Maybe you need to let go of some excuses.  Maybe you need to take some time today to seek after Him and His best for you.  I will do the same.  Because that is never a waste of time!  

“…Stay away from believers who live idle lives…”  II Thessalonians 3:6

A short story: Next Saturday I will be at ReNEWed Life Women’s Event.  Just a few months ago, this event didn’t exist and, as far as I know, nothing like it has ever taken place in our small community.  My friend, Jill, and I had helped organize a big women’s retreat in a larger town an hour and a half from home for a few years.  Although it was such a blessing, at different times, each of us had felt God leading us to step off that leadership team.   One day afterwards, we discussed a prompting in our hearts to “do something” for the women right here in our rural community.   Normally, women around here would have to drive 1½ to 3 hours to attend a women’s conference.   As we prayed about it, the Lord clearly opened doors for National Speaker and Author Lisa Whittle to come to our rural area, small town Cresco, Iowa. 

I’m leaving out many details and many displays of God’s faithfulness.  But the reason I am sharing this, is to share this point: no matter who you are or where you are, God can use you if you are obedient and willing to do the work.  Do not waste time making excuses or looking at life circumstances, your lack of ability, resources or talent.  He will do things beyond your wildest imagination if you seek after His will and trust Him.  I can hardly wait to watch Him display His glory (again) next Saturday at this women’s event that two farmer’s wives and others in rural Iowa envisioned at His prompting!  And we will give Him all the praise and glory!

My Rise & Shine Testimony

Maybe you've wondered how a small town Indiana girl turned Iowa farmer’s wife became a member of the Rise & Shine Women’s Retreat Leadership team. Well, here’s the answer.

A good friend of mine, Jill, felt the Lord leading her to start a women's conference. She had felt this prompting for about 2 ½ years, but wasn't sure how she could ever pull something like this off. She kept praying about it, until it came to a point that she knew that it was definitely His idea and not hers. She shared the idea with her husband and a few close friends.

Long story short, Jill and her friend/mentor, Leanne, decided to take the idea to Orchard Hill Church in Cedar Falls, Iowa in 2009. Leanne had just recently started attending OHC. They were thrilled when the church agreed to host the event.

Although Jill and I only live a couple of miles apart, go to the same church and even share a last name (we’re married to cousins), we really only became friends months before Rise & Shine began when we connected at a Bible study. During that same Bible study, the Lord started stirring up thoughts in my mind and heart, especially ones about what my role should be in women’s ministry. One day, I mentioned in the study that I wanted to do something “radical for Christ”. This started a personal conversation between Jill and I, our friendship blossomed from there. Later, when told me about the idea of starting a women’s conference she said, “How’s this for something radical?”

Unbeknownst to Jill, also about 2 ½ years before this, I was at a women’s conference when I felt the Lord speaking to my spirit. It wasn't an audible voice, but I knew Who it was. It was like He said to me, "You're going to be part of something like this someday."

Yet, there I sat, I was pregnant with my first child, a farmer's wife living in rural Iowa…in the middle of “no where“. I thought, "What? ME? How could I ever do something like that?" I have to admit that I questioned the Lord. Did He get the right girl?! Still, joy rose up within me and I remember praying in my mind, right there in the midst of this huge conference, "I don't know how, but I believe that you will make a way, Lord."

I never told anyone about this. I actually filed it to the back of my mind. Every once in a while I would recall what He said, but still didn't see a way. I would say a little prayer about it and shove it back to it's little corner in my mind.

So, even though I know she expected me to be, I wasn't shocked when Jill came to me with this idea. I knew that I was suppose to be part of it, but I didn’t tell Jill. I just told her that I would pray about it...which I did. I was thrilled a few weeks later when she asked me to be part of the Rise & Shine team. Isn't this just the way that the Lord works? He opens doors where there doesn't even seem to be a door!!!

That first year was a real leap of faith for our team. None of us had ever planned a women’s conference before. We didn’t have any funds available when we started (not even to pay the speaker we had booked). We didn’t even know if anyone would sign up to attend . But, we prayed and felt the Lord prompting us on. We chose to step out in faith and obedience. We’re so glad we did! God answered one prayer after another, opened doors and showed us His faithfulness time and time again…and has continued to do so. This year we are planning our third Rise & Shine Women’s Retreat.

So many amazing people have come on board to make Rise & Shine happen each year, people who have such a heart to honor and serve the Lord. We’re just ordinary people who have been blessed to be part of something so extraordinary, something so much bigger than us. To God be the glory! He is so great, and greatly to be praised!

This coming week I again have an opportunity to step out in faith, to do something so beyond me…I’m going to be on the radio! Leanne and I will be sharing about Rise & Shine Women’s Retreat on our guest speaker for 2011’s radio show “Live the Promise with Susie Larson”. The show will air live on Faith 1090 AM on Wednesday, June 29th at 3:00 pm. If you’re interested in listening online, here’s the link:
http://www.life1019.com/on-air/listen-online/

PLEASE PRAY for me and Leanne as we seek to promote Rise & Shine well and, most importantly, to glorify God with every word that we speak, to give Him praise for the way He has worked through this ministry. We’re so thankful for this great opportunity!

Thank you for your prayers, it means so much to me (us).

In what area is God asking YOU to step out in faith today? God will use you in ways you never thought possible, and will make a way when there seems to be no way, if you choose to trust Him, obey and follow His lead. I find that incredibly exciting!! How about you?!

Just Listen to Me!

“Listen to Mommy!” I said to my 3½ year old son, Andrew…AGAIN. Andrew had a rough day; things just didn’t go his way, he was testing the waters (testing me) and I didn’t like it. We had a little heart to heart talk, several times throughout the day. I heard myself saying things like…

“Andrew, if you would just listen to me things would go a lot better for both of us.”

“Andrew, please just listen to me. Mommy doesn’t like getting after you, but it’s my job to teach you right from wrong.”

“Andrew, why aren’t you listening? Who’s the boss, me or you?”

That night as I tucked my little blondie into bed, his piercing blue eyes staring into mine, I said, “Andrew, I love you so much, that’s why I want to teach you right. I want us to enjoy each other and have good days together. Please listen to me. Let’s have a better day tomorrow, okay?!” He said, “Alright, Mommy. I love you too.” Which was followed by a big hug and kiss that simply melted my heart.

Just look at this cheesy, mischievous grin!

The next day was much better. Andrew listened (for the most part) and our home was peaceful. 

I dislike correcting my son, it doesn’t make me feel good. At the same time, I know I must correct him when he doesn’t listen. It is my job to teach him and if I don’t do it, he will never grow to be the man God created him to be. God gave me (and my husband as well) this authority and responsibility. The growing process can be hard, but it is necessary. Because I love him, I will teach him right from wrong.

It hit me hard…this must be how God feels about me! Sometimes I’m outright defiant. I want to do it my own way. Things don’t go so well, and then I wonder why.

It’s as if he’s saying to me, “Why don’t you listen? Things would go a lot better for both of us if you would just listen. Please just listen, I don’t like correcting you, but because I love you I want to teach you my ways so that you can grow. Who’s the boss, me or you?!” YIKES!

“My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and don’t give up when he corrects you.

For the Lord disciplines those he loves…”
Hebrews 12:5-6

Who’s the authority…who’s in charge? Our loving Father corrects us, the growing process can be difficult, but it must take place if we ever want to grow to full maturity. We do things our own way, and then wonder why things aren’t going so well for us. He says, “Follow me!”

How about you? Do you feel convicted in any areas in your life? Is your loving Father correcting you? Will you listen and learn? His way is the best way! Is He gently and lovingly correcting you. He’s saying, “Just listen to me.” He’s helping you grow into the person He designed you to be.

It is a new day. Repent of (turn away from) your sin (whatever it is) now! Be forgiven by your loving Father…and go forward! His mercies are new EVERY morning!

Oh, and if we keep on listening, there will be much better days ahead!  :)

“The faithful love of the LORD never ends!
His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.”

Lamentations 3:22-23

Everyday Moments

Lately I have been praying to see God, to be used by God, to be aware of His presence in those ordinary, everyday moments of my life.

In Sunday school this week, I shared the story of baby Moses with my kindergarten girls. As I shared, I thought of all the ordinary moments that led to some very extraordinary events in God’s big plan.  You probably know the story...

A mother, trying to save her baby takes a basket lined with tar down to the river. She put him in the basket and into the water believing and trusting that God would protect and preserve her baby’s life somehow (but not knowing how!). I believe Moses’ mother must have prayed for guidance on what to do. Otherwise, what would possess you to do this?

The mother leaves Moses’older sister, a young girl named Miriam, in charge of watching him from the reeds. Miriam didn’t know she would be used by God that day, she was simply obeying her mother’s wishes to watch her baby brother. But, when the time was right, God impressed upon her young heart, just the right thing to do and say…and without fear she stepped up to the challenge. She spoke up and made a request of the princess who found him.

Even the princess didn’t know that anything out of the ordinary would take place on that very ordinary day. She went about her normal activities…this time going to the river to take a bath. But, what happened next changed the course of history. I have no idea what the princess’ relationship was or was not with God, regardless He must have impressed something upon her heart, causing her to feel love for this baby as she opened the basket. You know she could have ordered her maidservants to deliver him to her father, the king, who ordered that all of the Israelite baby boys be put to death, she didn’t!

God was watching over baby Moses, his mother, his whole family…and an entire nation of people! As you probably know, Moses became a mighty man of God and he lead the Israelites out of slavery…and towards the Promised Land. God had a plan for Moses’ life and he used many others to get him there.

God still works like this today! Psalm 33:15 describes God’s watchful care, “He has made their hearts and closely watches everything they do.” He isn’t some distant, far off God. He is a personal, loving Father.

The other day I sent an e-mail to a dear friend who is going through a tough time. I told her that I would pray for her, added a scripture for some encouragement and closed the note. At the end, I wrote out the prayer that was in my mind and heart at that moment. I didn’t intend to, I just did. A few days later I saw my friend. She hugged me tightly and declared that my e-mail was just what she needed…especially the prayer at the end. She told me that she printed out the e-mail so she could look at it again and again. She even showed it to some of her friends and they were blessed. I thought, “Wow, what did I write?!” I had forgotten all about writing out the prayer at the end. I still don’t remember exactly what I wrote, but that’s okay. God knew just the words she needed at that moment!

One day this week I was in Mc Donald’s play place with my sons. There was another mom there who seemed lonely and I felt led to talk to her. I prayed in my mind for guidance and words. Before I knew it, she struck up a conversation. We talked…and I’ve been praying for her ever since. I think it’s just what she needed.

Yesterday evening, I sat down on the floor in my living room near where my boys were playing, to read a Christian book about parenting. As I read the book this question crossed my mind and heart, “What do my kids learn by watching me?” I was praying about this in my mind, telling God that I often feel like I fail in this area. Within a couple of minutes Andrew, my 3 year old, ran into the other room, grabbed his preschool devotional book and said, “Mommy, we need to read my devotions!” I asked, “What made you think about that right now?” He said, “That’s what you’re doing.” Wow, God, you are good!! Thank you for the reassurance that sometimes with your help I do “get it right.” That’s just what I needed to hear at that moment!

I am not telling you this to brag on myself!! I am telling you this to brag on God!! Many times I fail. It is by God’s grace that I “got it right” in these moments. I’m flawed and sinful; I get wrapped up in myself many days. Yet, it’s amazing to me how He can use me, a VERY ordinary woman, to speak His words to a broken heart, to live His message out loud in everyday moment…that is: when I’m obedient to His prompting.

“The remarkable thing is not that I sin, but that, in spite of my sin, I am capable of having fellowship with God and being used by Him for His purposes in the world.” Ibid., 102

God works in our very real lives…whether we’re working on some big ministry project or sharing encouragement with a friend via e-mail, facebook or on the phone. Planning a missionary trip to some far off country or simply (which is not so simple at all!!) being a missionary to those in our lives right where we are, every day (starting #1 with our family!!). God is THERE…in the big things and the small. He’s with us in the everyday moments of life. He is interested in EVERY detail of our days. That’s why he tells us to “pray about everything” in Phil 4:6! It’s amazing and humbling to watch Him work through us when we follow His lead.

How are you seeking Him daily? Do you believe He cares about every detail of your life? How are you being watchful of and prayerful about what He wants to do in, through and around you today?

O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me…you know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts…you see me when I travel and when I rest at home…everything I do…know what I’m going to say before I say it…you go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand. Psalm 139:1-6

Yes, it’s too great for us to really understand, but it’s TRUE! Thank you, Lord, for caring about every detail of our lives…knowing just what we and others need at every moment! Please help us to be more sensitive to Your promptings in these everyday moments of life, living to serve and honor You rather than focusing on ourselves. Thank you for loving us and working through us despite our failures and flaws. We love you, Lord! Amen.

But God...

Last Friday Alan and I celebrated our anniversary. It’s been six years since we said, “I do.”

Just look at us all bright eyed and bushy tailed...

The wedding ceremony had just ended, I laid my head down on
his shoulder. We were so happy (and Alan was thrilled to get 'er done). 
This is my favorite wedding picture.

We hadn’t known each other very long. We met on the internet, on a “Christian” website. Alan and I aren’t necessarily big advocates for internet dating, but in our case, it was simply the tool God used to bring us together. It was my first week on the website and Alan’s last. I only paid for one month. I often joke that, that was the best $9.99 I ever spent! :)

We met face to face at the end of April, got engaged at the end of June and married at the end of August. What a whirlwind romance! Yet, I was never more sure of anything in my life! Alan felt the same way, the first time we met he told a friend that he had just met the girl he was going to marry. It all seemed so crazy, but I knew God had brought Alan into my life. I knew, I just knew he was the answer to my prayers (and yes, I had been praying them)!

Some people couldn’t believe it when we said we were engaged…and getting married in 2 months. For me, marrying Alan would mean moving from Indiana where I was born and raised, to Iowa, 8 hours away. It would mean moving from town to a farm…being a farmer’s wife, something I knew very little about. I’m not normally one to make rash decisions, but I knew, I just knew, this was where God was directing me.

We were married on August 27, 2004. We had “Only God Could Love You More” sung. Although I believed those words to be true that day, it seems strange how much more true those words are today. I stood there looking at Alan as my brother sang the words of that song, thinking of the wild turn of events that had brought us to that day. It seemed like a dream, but I knew God had made it my reality.

We went to Cancun on our honeymoon. We learned a lot about one another and a bit about conflict resolution on that trip. He ended up with “Montezuma’s Revenge.” I lost one of the lenses from my prescription glasses (the ones I’m as blind as a bat without!!) in the Gulf of Mexico. Oh, the memories! :) Actually, it was a great trip with only a couple minor (okay slightly major) obstacles to overcome.  It was just the beginning of challenges that face all married couples, but God gave us the grace and wisdom we needed!

The months to follow were sometimes challenging and often very fun as we learned what married life was really all about. Sometimes the growth process can be hard, and we did a lot of growing, adjusting and changing as those first couple of years passed. We have faced some bumps in the road, but God continues to bless us, stretch us, and grow us…closer to one another and closer to Him! We have learned a lot about true love, sacrifice and patience. I can even drive a tractor now when I need to.  ;)

Six years…time flies when you’re having fun, sharing life with your best friend! Our images have changed a bit, we’ve matured in more ways than one. :) We’ve even added a couple of children to the mix, our two precious boys. Another abundant blessing! Ironically, Alan and I both feared that we wouldn’t be able to have children, but God had a different plan.

Andrew's busy learning new things...

Noah's showing off his first two teeth...

We are thankful because we know God brought us together, no doubt! We are thankful for all of God’s blessings as we’ve continued to seek Him! We are thankful because we know He holds our tomorrow as well! None of it would have been possible “…but nothing is impossible with God.” Luke 1:37

HAPPY 6th Anniversary, honey! It’s more true today than it was then, only God could love you more!! Here’s to 60 more!!  I love you!
 
What are you beliving God for right now?  What are you praying?  Let me tell you, meeting Alan didn't happen "fast enough" for me.  In the mean time, I tried taking things into my own hands...and made a big mess for myself.  When I stopped trying to do things on my own, and surrendered my life to Him, things changed for me!  Perhaps you know what you want your life to look like, but are you surrending it to God?  I'm a witness here to tell you, His plans are way better than ours!!