Remain Faithful

Last August I attended ReNEWed Life Women's Event for the first time as an attendee rather than an organizer.  I had just made it through eight weeks of recovery after spinal surgery, so it was good just to be out and feeling decent.  The music was good.  The speakers were good.  The atmosphere was good.

But I was distracted.

I heard the speaker talking that morning about God's goodness and faithfulness.  These were things I know to be true.  In fact, I had experienced God's goodness and faithfulness personally in the past, through all my health issues and three miscarriages.  Yet, my mind was spinning this particular morning.  I wasn't experiencing peace.  My husband and I had just received our first call for an adoptive placement...of three children. 

I questioned the LORD.  "Is this really what you want us to do?"  I questioned my own ability.  "How can I do this?  We already have two young children...now three more , virtually the same age as our two.  Really, Lord?"  I questioned God's direction.  "Is this really what you're wanting us to do?"  My mind was whirling through all the details.  I couldn't concentrate on anything else it seemed.  I was trying to figure it out.  Reason.  To see what God was doing.  I was anxious.

It wasn't until the afternoon session that my mind settled down a bit.  At least enough to hear the speaker say something like because God is good and faithful, He asks us to remain faithful.  Then, while another speaker shared her testimony, she said something like through her experience she had realized she was a control freak, and my eyes filled with tears.  It hit me.  I didn't need to have it all figured out.  No, I needed to relinquish control and remain faithful.  To do the next right thing.  To trust Him.  That's what God was calling me to do.

Well, it turned out, as usual, I had no idea what lied ahead in the days to come.  But God knew.  And I was thankful for the reminders I heard that day.

It didn't work out with the three children.  God made it clear that it wasn't the right placement for them or us.  So I had wasted a lot of time fretting about something that didn't even happen.

In September, we received another call, this time about an 11 month old boy.  Our family spent two months getting to know this little boy in hopes of adopting him, only to have some distant relatives in another state come forward and say they wanted him.  In Iowa, relatives get top preference.

That really hurt, not only my husband and me, but our two little boys who had fallen in love with him.  They were excited to welcome him as their little brother.  This made no sense to me.  I truly felt we had followed God's lead to pursue this adoption.  Sure, we had prayed for God's best.  But how could we not be the best for him, right?!  So, again, I wondered what God was doing.  I wondered why He allowed this to happen.  But we kept moving forward in faith. 

In November, there was a precious baby girl.  That didn't work out.  I just wasn't ready physically or emotionally.  I didn't realize it at first.  Fortunately, she went to another loving home instead.

Then, in December, we found out I was pregnant!  After me having 2 years of early pre-menopausal symptoms and having had three miscarriages, we were just thrilled to be expecting a baby!  We reasoned, this must be why things didn't work out with the other kiddos (always trying to figure it out). 

It seemed like the pregnancy was progressing well.  I was showing early and experiencing all the pregnancy symptoms that I experienced with my two healthy pregnancies.  We announced it to the world in January.  We were excited!  Everyone else was excited along with us!

A few weeks later we lost our baby; a fourth miscarriage.  Honestly, it just seemed too much.  I mourned deeply.  But the same words came out of my mouth, "God is good.  God is faithful."  I was reminded again, that I also needed to remain faithful...even though I didn't understand (and still don't). 

This scripture ministered to me in my grief:

Romans 11:33-36 (NLT)
³³ Oh, how great are God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his ways!

³⁴ For who can know the Lord’s thoughts?
    Who knows enough to give him advice?^[a]
35 And who has given him so much
    that he needs to pay it back?^[b]

³⁶ For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen.

We were still grieving and we were on hold from taking foster and adoptive placement calls, when one day I opened up my Facebook to read a message from a dear friend I had made through the connection with the 11 month old boy I mentioned earlier; the foster mom of the little boy we didn't get to adopt.  She said she knew it might not be the right time, but the situation was time sensitive so she was just going to throw it out there.  She had heard about two children legally free for adoption that she thought might be a good fit for our family.

At first my husband, Alan, said, "No way!"  We were still mourning.  I was still recovering physically.  So I thought about just saying we weren't interested.  In fact, I went to my Facebook and began a message.   But I didn't feel right saying no.  So, instead, we agreed to pray about it for a few days.

After a lot of prayer, a few phone calls, meeting the kids and having visits with them for a month, those two precious kiddos moved in with us in March.  Legal adoption day is quickly approaching.

Through this adoption process God has asked me over and over to surrender.  To relinquish control.  To stop trying to figure it out.  To trust Him.  To walk forward in faith, faithfully.  It hasn't always been easy.  But... 

God is good.  God is faithful.  We need to remain faithful to Him.  Surrendered.

Through all the ups and downs of life this past year, God was a work.  Even though I don't need to know all the "whys", God is good to give us little glimpses into His glory.  It helps us press forward in faith.  For instance, when things didn't work out with the then 11 month old boy, it just didn't make sense to me.  But it was through our connection with him that we met his foster mom who connected us with the two children we have now.  He's also in a very good place for him.  The LORD is good and faithful.  He is sovereign.  He provides.

Faith is something we talk a lot about.  But it's another thing to live it.  Faith is an action.  It's taking God at his Word.  It's remaining faithful, even when (especially when!) it doesn't make sense to us.  When we can't see.  Because even when it doesn't feel true, God is good and faithful.  And He's always up to something...so much more than we can even fathom, in fact.

I mess up a lot.  I want to control.  I want to know.  I'm not always faithful.  But God is!  I'm so thankful for His grace.  But I long to live a life more wholly surrendered to Him.  To trust Him more.  It's a process and a daily choice.  None of us know what tomorrow holds.  God does.  I must remember His faithfulness in the past...and keep moving forward.

Will you join me, friend?  

Another Lesson I Learned From My Child

Motherhood can be so humbling...especially when it's your children who keep teaching YOU things. 

I'm a homeschool mom.  I spend my days with my two boys.  I teach them reading, writing, arithmetic, etc.  But we also talk a lot about character and Biblical truth. 

Recently our family fell in love with a foster child.  He spent weekends bonding with us.  We all enjoyed him so much and it felt so perfect, a great match in every way.  We thought he would soon come to live with us, that he would become our son/brother. 

Then, as the termination of parental rights hearing neared, after the child had already spent several months in foster care, some distant relatives who had never met him and live in another state came forward.  They decided they wanted to be considered as the primary adoptive family.  In our state (Iowa), relatives to the fourth degree of kinship (!!!) receive preference over foster/adoptive families.

I've found myself irritated at "the system" and the laws in our great state of Iowa.

I've found myself frustrated that caring DHS workers can't make decisions that seem to be in the child's best interest, like turning away distant relatives who don't even know a child and live all the way across the country, because of laws that don't make sense and seem to even frustrate them.  Have we lost all common sense?

I've found myself so angry that this precious little one will remain in foster care much longer than necessary, remaining in limbo and unable to get settled into his forever family, because of relatives who don't seem to be thinking of what is best for him.  If they pass their home study process months from now, he will be drug off across the country with complete strangers, having everyone and everything he knows disappear from his life, and without any transition into his new home.  Perhaps they think he's too young to remember.  They're probably right, but he won't forget the feelings associated with such loss and change.  It's unfortunate that they don't mind putting him through this when it could be avoided.  He's a real person with real feelings.  We have developed a relationship with his foster family and would continue his contact with them, the only family he's ever really known.  It's a great loss for them too.  It just doesn't seem right! 

My heart has been breaking over the loss of this little one!  I've prayed.  I've cried.  I've consoled my two little boys many times as they mourn this "little brother".  I've asked God "Why?" many times...with no real answer.  I've asked for strength, wisdom and peace for everyone involved.  I've tried to remain faithful and faith-filled, trusting the One in control of all things.

Last night our 7 year old, Andrew, brought up this little one in conversation again.  We both agreed, we miss him.  I asked him, "Have you been praying about it?"  He quickly said, "Not really."  My heart cried out, "Have I taught you nothing?!"  Then, I calmly asked, "Why not?"  And here it is...the moment when it felt like a 2x4 across my head...

He said, "Well, I believe God is doing His best.  We already prayed about it and I don't think I have to just keep on asking.  He's doing His best, Mom."

"Oh, yes, Andrew, you're right!  We need to thank God that He's working."

When we prayed together before bedtime I thanked God for the lesson I received from Him through my son.  For the reminder that He is doing His best...just as we asked Him to.  Oh, to have the faith of a child!

I remembered a quote from author and speaker, Susie Larson, "God's will for you is your best-case scenario."

I don't understand why.  I'm still frustrated with "the system".  But, ultimately, God is in control.  I can choose to trust that He's looking out for our best interest, and the best interest of this darling child.  I will keep praying that God's will, will be done and that we and others involved will cooperate with Him.  I will thank Him for hearing and answering our prayers.  I will praise Him for giving us His BEST.    

Thanks for the reminder, Andrew!  You are part of God's best-case scenario for me.    :)

Andrew with the pumpkin he carved for me this fall :)

“And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words. “So do not be like them; for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.  Pray, then, in this way: Our Father who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name.  Your kingdom come.  Your will be done, On earth as it is in heaven.  Give us this day our daily bread.  And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.  And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.  For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen."  Matthew 6:7-13

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.  Jeremiah 29:11

 

For the word of the Lord holds true,
    and we can trust everything he does.
He loves whatever is just and good;
    the unfailing love of the Lord fills the earth.

Psalm 33:4-5

We Want Easy

The truth be told, we want easy.  We often say, "We want your will LORD" while in our hearts we think, "Surely your will is to bless me."  We prefer to coast along in ease and happiness.  We believe a loving God would want to shower us with "good".  And He does.  The thing is: His blessings often come disguised in hard things. 

Today a friend of mine died to this life.  She lived well.  She died well.  She suffered much.  For over forty years Janet struggled with her health.  She experienced pain ongoing.  It wasn't easy.  It was hard!  But it was in these struggles that she drew closer to the LORD.  She did  not become bitter or angry.  She did not grumble and complain.  No, she chose a better way.  She was gentle, kind and prayerful.  She chose to rely more heavily upon the LORD.  She relied on His strength and His truth more than her feelings.  She was humble, yet strong, so strong.  Her strength came from the LORD.

In the last weeks of her life she lied in a hospital bed waiting on impending death; waiting to meet the Savior she'd served and relied so heavily on.  She asked why she was still here and wondered aloud at what HE had for her to accomplish each of her last days.  She knew He wasn't done with her yet.

She was assured that He was in complete control.  She took every opportunity to tell of His goodness; to give Him glory and point others to Him even from her hospital bed.  She didn't waste a breath.  She was intentional.  She gave life giving words.  She didn't fear the future.  Yes, she hated to say goodbye to her loved ones left behind.  But she eagerly awaited seeing face to face the One with whom, through both hardship and joy, she had developed a true relationship. 

Janet didn't have an easy life.  But it was in those struggles that she developed her faith muscles.  It was in them that she developed perseverance.  It was in them that she had an opportunity to set a beautiful real life example of  "To live is Christ, to die is gain" (Phil 1:21). 

 

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trails of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

 

We often think we want easy. We want to be spiritually mature, lacking nothing, but we don't want the testing and trials that seem to get us there.  Just like a teenager or 20 something desires the nice cars, homes and cash flow his parents and grandparents worked for years to attain.  It takes doing the "next right thing" to get there.  It doesn't usually come easy.  It takes time and effort, patience and endurance.  It's often hard.     

I don't know how many times I've written this.  I say it again and again because I'm preaching it to myself.  God did not promise us easy!  In fact, He said we will face trials.  We live in a broken, fallen, sinful world.  It's not a matter of if we will face tough times, it's a matter of when.   Isaiah 43:2 says, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." 

See, He didn't promise us that we wouldn't go through tough times, maybe even for a long time.  He did promise He would go with us; protecting us, strengthening us.  Then, as we see Him work, our faith will grow.  

When I consider all of this I can honestly say I don't want easy.  I want to endure the hard stuff with joy and faith. To set my eyes on things above.   To finish strong!  I want to be more like Janet.  Because being more like Janet means being more like Jesus.

"Fight the good fight for the true faith.  Hold tightly to the eternal life (eternal purpose) to which God has called you, which you have confessed so well before many witnesses." 

 I Timothy 6:13

I'm thankful Janet endured.  She fought a good fight for the faith.   I'm thankful she pointed me, and many others, to Jesus.  She was a great example and will be greatly missed.  Yet, what a joy and comfort to know she is in Heaven now; in the presence of our Beloved Savior.  She's completely whole, free from pain and sickness.  She received the ultimate healing!  Thank you, LORD, for answered prayers and for the life you gave Janet...both earthly and eternal!

Building Faith Muscles

It seems like it would be easier not to change things...

It seems like it would be easier to leave our family structure the way it is; everyone knows their role.   Our boys are getting bigger, more self-sufficient. Although we always thought we would like a bigger family, we've become quite satisfied  and content with the one God's given us.  Life is good.

It seems like it would be easier to avoid the stress; not to have to wait on court dates and judges rulings, important phone calls, DHS decisions that could change everything; to depend on a bunch of people we don't know to do their jobs and to do the right things.  Easier to stay where we're comfortable.  To avoid the anxiety inducing variables that seem to accompany every adoption process.

It seems like it would be easier to just stay home rather than running off to visits, drop offs and pick ups. To avoid the chaos of going back and forth, changing routine and having to say goodbye again and again to a child we wish we could keep with us.

It seems like it would be easier not to have to answer so many questions.  While it's nice people are interested (and praying), it's not easy explaining over and over again; hearing everyone's comments and opinions.  It's even harder to know what to say and what not to say.  There are rules we need to follow.  (But I don't want people to stop asking.  We'll share what we can...and ask you to pray)

It seems like it would be easier just not to. Not to set ourselves, and our two biological children, up for potential heartbreak.  It feels risky. There are so many unknowns, uncertainties and undetermined details.  We've been investing in, and now have fallen in love with, a child we're not even sure we're ever going to get to  call "ours".  And no one can tell us if we will or won't.  No one knows but God.

Yes, it seems like it would be easier.  But would it?  The real question is, is it suppose to be easy?!

We didn't go into foster care and adoption because we were seeking easy and simple. We began this journey because we felt the LORD prompting our hearts. We felt called. We had a desire to help children. We saw the need. We wanted to obey God.

Let's go back a little...

Honestly, it would have been easier not to go to ten weeks of three hour classes an hours drive away.  To go through background checks, fill out mounds of paperwork, be analyzed and have three home studies!  But we kept stepping forward in faith believing we would be used of God to make a difference in the life of a child or two.

It seems easier not to...

Then we see the face of this child; smiling, sweet, precious.  A completely lovable child who deserves a stable, loving family; one like ours.  A vulnerable child who depends on strangers to make right choices on his/her behalf.  A child who is worth the effort!  A child who fits right in to our family and brings much joy to our hearts.  It becomes obvious...this is why we're doing this!  We only want what's best for this dear little one; dear to us and dear to God.  It's really not about us, or our comfort level.  We would never turn our backs on this little one.

Then we hear another uncertainty, a huge hitch in "our plans".  Then another one.  Things I can't share.  But, trust me, they are anxiety inducing. 

"But God doesn't call us to be comfortable.  He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through."  Francis Chan

Yep, today it seems easier to avoid all of this....but it wouldn't be.  God has called us here for such a time as this; for such a child as this.  We love this child already.  God loves this child much more!  We pray.  We hope.  We believe.  If we never get to adopt this child, we will still be better for having known him/her.  We've already learned quite a bit through this process.

God whispers to our hearts, "You say you trust me.  Do you?"  We are building faith muscles that apparently needed a bit more exercise. 

Things may not go the way we think they should.  He never promised this life would be easy.  In fact, He told us in His Word that there would be trials of many kinds.  BUT He did promise that He would walk closely with those of us who love Him.  He promised good things for us who love Him. When we're coasting along,  in ease and comfort, there's no need to cling to such promises.  It's when we recognize how much our lives are out of our control that we turn more fully to Him. 

So for now I meditate on scriptures like this one...

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trails of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

When I consider these verses I don't want easy...I want to be a woman who walks in faith, develops perseverance and fully trusts the God I serve to do what is best; knowing His best is truly our best case scenario.  I will ask for what I want.  I will do the next right thing. Not because I'm so awesome...because I serve a God who is!! I will remind myself that He is God and I am not.  It is a choice to believe what His Word says; He has good plans for us (Jeremiah 29:11) and we can trust Him (Proverbs 3:5-6).

I've had a bit of experience with Faith in the Waiting.  It's definitely not easy!  But I can choose faith.  When my flesh feels anxious because I can't see what He is up to (which is often) and my heart is troubled, it's just another opportunity to take Him at His Word.  I pray we will, and believe our faith muscles will be strengthened in the process.

As we continue to wait I will find joy in the honor to know and pray for this little one.  We will love on this child as if he/she is staying forever.  And I will remind myself...

"Don't let your heart be troubled.  Trust in God, and trust also in me (Jesus)...I am leaving you with a gift ~ peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid." John 14:1, 27
 
"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand." Isaiah 41:10

When You Dare to Ask God What He Wants...

I utter, “Use me, Lord.” “Show me your will, Lord.”  “I want to honor you, Lord.”  Do I mean it? 

What about my agenda.  My plan.  My way.  My dreams.  All good things, many of them sought with a desire to glorify Him.  I ask for what I want.  But I’m not God.  And I don’t know His plans.  What do I know of His ways?  How often do I dare to ask God what He wants? Really ask Him…and wait to hear His answer.  Hands open to whatever He has for me; even when it looks much different than what I thought…or planned…or dreamed. 

What about when His honor comes through the unexpected?  Or when it’s uncomfortable.  Or scary.  Or downright hard.  Or it involves suffering.  What then?   Do I ask for that?  Or do I keep my hands in tight fists, clinging to what I “know” is God’s best for me, and my loved ones?   It’s human nature to want “easy”, “happy” and “comfy cozy”.    

But, most often, when I ask Him what He wants…and actually wait to hear what He says, He doesn’t say “easy”.  He often calls me to the hard.  To things that seem beyond my reach.  To things that stretch my faith and cause me to rely on Him more.  

I see Christians do it all the time.  We say we want to be used of God.  What we often mean is we want the spotlight; the glory.  We want to do the good things on our agenda…and invite God to join us.  We may  look mature on the outside.  But the LORD sees us as little children with fingers in ears, singing, “La la la.”  Only willing to hear what we want to hear.  We want to hear words like blessings…and good gifts…grace and joy.   

The trouble: blessings, good gifts, even grace and joy often come in unexpected wrappings. 

Lately, my LORD has bee doing some serious sanctifying work in me.  Preparing me for His next place of promise (a Susie Larson quote).  I've watched Him do His work in my husband's heart as well.  Obvious and glorious!  He's doing a new thing...or two or three.

As my husband and I venture into the world of becoming foster parents, we face so many unknowns.   It’s exciting.  It can also be nerve wracking apart from faith.  He’s leading this way, no doubt about it.  We dared to ask.  We also dared to listen.  He answered.  So we step forward in faith and obedience, taking God at His word; choosing to lean on Jesus; humbly dependent.

We don’t expect easy.  We expect challenges.  But we’re compelled; compelled to help children.  We’re compelled to love with open hearts and arms; pouring out the love He’s so abundantly given us.  So many hurting kids, we can’t sit with eyes closed and hands clinched, clinging to our desire for unchallenged lives.  Growth stunted.

Honestly, it seems it would be easier not to.  Things are good and comfortable here.  Why mess with a good thing?  It will be work.  It will cost us something.  It will be inconvenient at times.  But what if we don’t?  Who will help?  There is a critical need and Jesus is calling us to intervene!  We can't help everyone, but we can help someone. 

If  we chose self-centeredness what seemingly haphazardly wrapped gifts would we miss?  True blessings given and received, designated for us and them, for such a time as this.  I shudder to think of passing it up for the sake of complacency.

Would it really be easier to say no?  Is not the center of God's will the best and safest place to be?  Christians often say it.  But do we live it?  We can be missionaries, His ambassadors, right here, right now, in our own home, in our own community.  But it requires faith steps.

I look ahead in anticipation of what He’s about to do.  Thankful for what He's already done.  Joyful.  Expecting.  Trusting.  Without fear.  Hands wide open and lifted up.  When doubt and fear and the Enemy’s lies rear their head once more, I will again choose faith.  Not because I am good.  Because He is good and I know I can trust Him. And truly my heart aches to help; to do His will. 

Will you dare to ask Him what He wants of you?

Will you pray for us as we move forward in faith? 

Will you please pray for the 450,000 children currently in foster care in the United States? 

Remember God doesn't call the equipped.  He equips the called.

 

"...Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear.  For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him."  Philippians 2:12-13

 

 You might also like this post:  Want An Easy Life?

Want an Easy Life?

My three year old said, "It's not easy for me, Mommy, so I don't want to do it.  Okay?"

Let's admit it.  Most of us, like my three year old, want an easy life.  We like to avoid conflict.  We want things to go well for us and those we love.  We want to be happy, relaxed and carefree.  No worries.  No problems.  Just easy.  It doesn't sound all that complicated, now does it?  And, yet, most of us have not found our place in that state of bliss we dream about.

Why?  Well, there's a little thing called reality.  Reality is, life is complicated and often hard.  We live in a messed up world where things happen.  Things we don't like.  Things we can't control.  People disappoint us.  You know what I'm talking about; you live here. 

Although I am blessed, my life just isn't perfect.  Yours, most likely, isn't either.

We believers and followers of Jesus Christ are not immune to the difficulties of life.  In fact, Jesus told us, "In this life you will have trouble." (John 16:33b).   

Yet, we seem to be surprised when troubles come.  As if somehow being a Christian makes us exempt to the realities of this life. I know I'm guilty!!  I want the hard stuff to stop, the pain to cease and for God to answer my prayers the way I want and...right...now!  Because it's hard and uncomfortable...and, the truth is, I just don't want to deal with it.

The LORD didn't promise us an easy life.  He did promise us that He would go with us and help us through the difficulties. 

When you go through deep waters, I will be with  you.  When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior..." Isaiah 43:2-3

Our pastor shared this a while back, I'm not sure where he got it, but it's brilliant and I don't think he would mind if I shared it here:

The E'z of Discipleship (get the word play, E's and Ease):

I Expect death and sorrow,

I Embrace it as God's will,

I will Endure it, with God's help,

I will Enjoy it as God sanctifies me in the process and equips me for better service.

Expect death and sorrow?  That's a hard pill to swallow, isn't it?!  But, like I said, it's part of this life. It's reality.  Still, look at what comes next...if we learn to embrace it as God's will, we will be able to endure it with His help.  We can even enjoy it as we allow Him to sanctify us (to make us holy, more like Jesus) in the process (WOW!) and equip us for better service.

Anyone who's been through something tough knows how we react to it makes all the difference in the world.  We can become bitter or better.  We can give up or press on in His strength.  We can doubt or choose faith...even when it just doesn't make any sense to us, because we believe what He said.

I find the following verses fascinating:

While Jesus was here on earth, He offered prayers and pleading, with a loud cry and tears, to the one who could rescue him from death. And God heard his prayers because of His deep reverence for
God. Even though Jesus was God's Son, he learned obedience from the things He suffered. Hebrews 5:7-8

Jesus, God's own beloved Son, cried out to God, His Loving Father, to rescue Him from the painful death He was about to face.  God heard Him.  He heard!  But He did not answer the way Jesus wanted Him too.  Why?  Because He had the bigger picture in mind.  Just as Jesus endured His cross, in complete submission to the Father's will, so are we!

For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation.  II Cor 7:10

God hears the prayers of us, His people.  But our loving Father is more interested in our sanctification than He is in our comfort level.  He knows what's best for us.  The question is, do we trust Him?  

I know from experience that it's often in the difficult, uncertain, sorrowful and sometimes scary things of life that I've learned to humbly depend on Him.  It is in these things that I have had to choose to trust Him. When I submit my will to His will, my whole perspective changes.  I realize that I truly don't want a life of ease, but a life of E'z!  I want to grow and become more like Jesus.

How about you?  Do you want an easy life?  Or will you choose to submit your will to His?  His answer to your prayers may not look the way you want, but He will sanctify you in the process and equip you for better service as His faithful disciple.

I heard someone say something like this once, "You have something BIG to overcome because your purpose is BIG and God is trying to do a work in you through it.  Keep going.  Walk in faith."  And, I add, choose to do so again...and again...and again.  It's not easy, but it's worth it.

Comfortable

The boys and I just finished reading an inspiring book about a great Christian hero named Lillian Trasher.  I will attempt to tell of her life's work in only a few paragraphs.

Lillian Trasher was a missionary to Egypt from 1911 to 1961.  But becoming a missionary was not part of Lillian's original plan.  No, she wanted to be an artist for the Georgian Newspaper.  In fact, she had quite a talent and nearly had the job of her dreams.  But, due to a miscommunication, the job was mistakenly given to someone else.  From there, God lead Lillian to work in an orphanage in North Carolina (that's quite a neat story in itself).

Lillian served in this orphanage for a few years.  There she met a handsome young pastor who she fell in love with and they became engaged.  All the plans were in place and she was so thrilled.  But one week (yes one week!!) before their scheduled wedding, Lillian felt a sudden prompting in her heart to go to Africa as a missionary.  Not only was Lillian engaged to be married to a man who did not feel a call to the mission field, she was absolutely broke and it wasn't exactly a normal thing for a single woman to travel to foreign lands in those years, especially to do mission work.  With no financial backing or a clue what she was getting into, in faith Lillian called off her engagement and (through some very interesting turn of events) sailed for Egypt.

Over the very hard years of her life, Lillian prayerfully and faithfully did the work called her to do.  She opened the very first Egyptian orphanage and took in nearly 10,000 orphans plus thousands of widows in her lifetime.  Many, many times she didn't even know where their next meal would come from, but she trusted God and He always came through for them.

Because of Lillian many children were saved both physically and spiritually.  And the trickle effect was phenomenal.  Many of her children went on to be successful people in the community, even opening churches and other orphanages throughout Egypt.

I'm sharing all of this with you, friends, because I have to tell you what God showed me as I read about Lillian Trasher.  And ask you a question that I asked myself...

Did God Call Us to Be Comfortable?

You know, it would have been really easy for Lillian to ignore God's call.  She could have stayed in America and married the young pastor.  She could have served the church as a pastor's wife her whole life, in security and comfort.  It sure would have saved her a lot of heartache.  It would have looked really good to everyone, because she would have been doing "God's work".  No one would have known the difference...except God, of course.

But Lillian didn't do that.  She didn't ask God to follow and bless her plans.  No, she trusted God and followed His lead even when it was very uncomfortable and certainly inconvenient.  She prayed continually asking for strength and sacrificed it all for God and others, an example of the love of Christ.  She recognized her humble dependence on God day after day after years of days.  And she impacted THOUSANDS of lives!  That is why she is a true Christian hero.

So, let me ask you again...

Did God Call US to Be Comfortable?

I asked myself many questions as I read about Lillian Trasher, "When was the last time I sacrificed to give? How often do I ask Jesus to follow me, rather than the other way around?  How often do I ask Him to bless my plans, especially those seemingly "good and noble" things I am doing "for Him"?  How often do I give in a way that is inconvenient and sacrificial?"

I'm not talking about irresponsible giving!  I'm speaking of a gift that costs me something...not just me giving a little of my abundance.  And I'm not just talking about money, there are many ways to give.  I'm talking about a humble pouring out of myself as a sacrifice, unselfishly.  To give of myself; my time, my resources, my gifts, my energy and yes, even my money, to glorify God and expand His kingdom.  Honestly, it's much easier to sit where I'm comfy cozy.  All the while asking God to use me.

Near the end of Lillian Trasher's life a news reporter asked her, "Miss Trasher, what is the secret of your missionary success?  What is the greatest thing you ever did?"  Lillian's reply, "There isn't any secret.  I just stayed!  I did not quit.  I stayed with the work God gave me to do."

Lord, purify my heart.  Show me how and where to serve - to follow Your call, rather than ask you to follow my plans (even if they seem good).  Show me how to live out the call to live in genuine love.  Enable me to give of my plenty (in numerous ways) through faith, so that You may be glorified.  Not just when it's comfortable and pretty, but all the time.  I'm thankful for all You have given.  Help  me to share of myself as You would.  And continue on even when it isn't easy.  In the name of Jesus, I pray.  Amen.

What about you?  What is God calling you to do?  Not all of us are called to be missionaries, but that doesn't mean He doesn't have work for you to do!  I do not believe that God blesses us so that we can hoard up treasures for ourselves and live unchallenged lives.  Just look at the lives the patriarchs of the Bible, even Jesus himself, they lives were challenging...and fruitful!  In the big things and seemingly small things God blesses faithfulness.

"It is possible to evade a multitude of sorrows through the cultivation of an insignificant life.  Indeed, if a person's ambition is to avoid the troubles of life, the recipe is simple: Shed your ambitions in every direction, cut the wings of every soaring purpose, and seek a life with the fewest contacts and relations.  If you want to get through life with the smallest trouble, you must reduce yourself to the smallest compass.  Tiny souls can dodge through life; bigger souls are blocked on every side.  As soon as a person begins to enlarge his or her life, resistances are multiplied.  Let a person remove petty selfish purposes and enthrone Christ, and suffering will be increased on every side."  Henry Jowett

P.S. Lillian used her God given drawing abilities later on when she designed her own building plans for her first official orphanage building.  God knows just what He is doing!  :)

"And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple. But don't begin until you count the cost...you cannot become my disciple without giving up everything." 

Luke 14:27-28, 33

Partly Cloudy with Scattered Worries

Today I am happy to welcome a guest blogger!
Kathy Collard Miller is not only an award winning author, she is someone I call "friend". We connected via blog world several years ago. As we have correspondences through blogging, personal messages and Facebook, she has encouraged and challenged me numerous times. I truly appreciate her caring spirit, loving heart and shared wisdom.
Today I am sharing an interview with Kathy Collard Miller about her book Partly Cloudy with Scattered Worries: Finding Peace in All Kinds of Weather (Lighthouse Publishers of the Carolinas).

I think, if we are honest, all of us would have to admit that there are times when we worry. Kathy shares words of hope, showing how she has personally learned to worry less and trust our Faithful God more.  
Well, I will just let her tell you about it in her own words. :)
Thanks for joining me today, Kathy. Please tell me (and my reading friends), 
What is your book about?

My book helps women, in particular, to trust God more and thus worry less. It is filled with stories from my own life and the lives of others who learned how to do that very thing, along with Biblical principles and practical instruction. But that's not all! (Oh sorry, wrong commercial). I've also included Discussion Questions that a group or an individual can use. Plus, every chapter highlights a woman from the Bible who either struggled with worry or one who overcame her worry. And as if that's not enough, (this is sounding like a commercial), I've closed every chapter with a “Letter From God” which speaks to the reader about what she learned in the chapter.
Who is your book for?

As you can tell, my book is primarily for women readers but I believe men would benefit from it also.

Why do you think people worry?

Of course, there are many reasons but here are a few. We may have experienced some hurtful things in childhood and blamed God. So our hearts are fearful of turning control over to Him. We may think that worry gives us power in another person's life. I remember worrying when my teenaged son had to fly across country by himself to a Christian golf camp. I worried he would miss his connecting flight until God whispered, “You're worried because you want him to need you. Let him need Me.” Oh, how revealing. I could then release that

worry and let God show Himself strong. Additionally, people worry because they really do think worry does some good. One woman told me, “Well, of course, worry works; after all, what I worry about doesn't happen.” I'm sure she was joking (I think!), but in our hearts, we can think it does some good. Unfortunately, worry only makes us tense and then we react in ways we regret. Plus, God isn't honored.
Give us the history of your book.

I'm very excited that Partly Cloudy is being reborn.It's the same book that was published in 2005 and now Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas saw it's value and is re-releasing it. Can I be honest about

something I'm worried about, er, I mean trusting God for? I didn't add anything to the original book and it wasn't until the process was too far along that someone encouraged me to add an update. So offering the same material is a concern because those who already read it won't need it. (Did you know you can be concerned and it doesn't have to turn into worry?) So I'm trusting God that my readers will want to be reminded of the material, knowing that none of us overcomes worry completely.

Why did you write Partly Cloudy with Scattered

Worries?
God was working and transforming me to trust Him more and I wanted to share what I had learned. My desire is to help readers trust God more by being convinced of His greatness, sovereignty, power, love, and involvement.

We can say we trust God but then we give in to anxiety, People Pleasing,controlling others, regrets, fear, and trying to provide for ourselves when God says to wait on Him. Our responses actually reveal that we don't trust God as much as we think we do.

What is your ultimate desire for your ministry?

I've been in ministry for a long time—my first article was published in 1978 and my first book in 1984. Hard to believe since I'm not that old! But in all these years, I've been motivated to minister in such a way that

women see God in truth and then take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Cor. 10:5). Much of our worry is because we believe lies about God and we allow any thought to permeate our minds as truth. Although I'm learning like everyone else to trust God more and more, I desire to help every woman know she can believe God wants the very best for her and then want His glory.
Are you available for speaking, especially on this topic of overcoming worry?

Oh yes, I love to speak on lots of topics, including overcoming worry. I especially love speaking at women's retreats because I can have extended contact with the women. I can be reached at Kathyspeak@dc.rr.com

BOOK SUMMARY AND BIOGRAPHY:  It is possible to worry less through trusting God more. Regardless of the storms of trials, temptations, worry, uncertainty, confusion, or regrets that you're facing, you can trust God more. Partly Cloudy with Scattered Worries offers a conversational style, personal testimonies, practical illustrations,and solid biblical teaching for breaking anxiety and the devastating effects of worry. Each chapter includes Discussion Questions for individuals or groups, along with a “Letter from God.” In addition, a profile of a woman in the Bible who struggled with or experienced victory over worry is featured in each chapter to inspire every reader to see God's hand in her life.

Kathy Collard Miller is a speaker and author. Her passion is to inspire women totrust God more. She has spoken in 30 states and 7 foreign countries. Kathy has49 published books including Women of the Bible: Smart Guide to the Bible (ThomasNelson) and she blogs at www.KathyCollardMiller.blogspot.com. Kathy lives in Southern

California with her husband of 43 years, Larry, and is the proud grandma of Raphael. Kathy and Larry often speak together at marriage events and retreats.

CHECK OUT THIS LINK to Order your Copy Today!
Thank you, Kathy, for being my guest today. I pray that your book is a success, helping many learn to walk in faith rather than worry.

Will He Be the Last?

Today I'm joining the Five Minute Friday link up with the prompt "Last".  I will write for 5 minutes flat with not editing.  :)

Last...

I look at his sweet, 3 year old face and I wonder, "Will he be the last?"  My Noah.  He is my little one.  The one others say looks like me.  The affectionate, compassionate, tender-hearted, very expressive little one.  He melts my heart and makes me smile.

My oldest has his own special traits. Andrew is hard working, deep thinking, inquisitive, daring and a detail oriented leader (even at 6).  He loves quality time with mom (which I love too!).  But, his ability to freely and sincerely offer words of encouragement is one of the things I love about him most.




Both of them incredibly bright, talkative and full of energy.  Each of them a unique and special individual.

I wonder what our three babies in Heaven would have been like blended into our family.

Sometimes with a bit of sadness I wonder, "Will he be the last?"  I'm open to what God has for us.  Another child or not.  Another pregnancy, adoption or foster care.  Something else?  Still, I grieve what could have been.  What I thought was a perfect plan.

As I cuddle my two growing babies, both last and first, I praise God for what He's given and I cherish them.  Trusting that He gives what's best.  Knowing I'm never His last priority, rather His first choice.  So I surrender my ideas, in faith believing His plan is the perfect one...even when I don't understand all of it.  Even when I have no idea what that plan will look like in the days ahead.

Today as I wonder about my future as a mom, I, one more time, but probably not for the last time, lift up my hands and let go to the One I trust. Whether Noah is my last child or not, I anxiously anticipate what God has for me next.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11


Check out what others had to say about this topic by clicking on the link below:

Every Detail

Last Friday my oldest little guy (6) and I planned a day of yard sale going fun! Not only do we share a love of bargain shopping, I knew we would enjoy some one on one mommy and son time.  In a local small town they have an annual citywide sale.  This year it consisted of 137 yard sales...all in one small town (sorry had to repeat that)!  Perfect for us bargain scroungers.  :)

There were two things on Andrew's list of "must finds".  1. A bigger wagon  2. A bigger bike (he has outgrown the 10" one he bought last summer).

We got to town.  We went to a few sales.  We found nothing.  Not one thing.

We went to one more yard sale.  There was a wagon...just the kind he wanted!!  Just as we reached the end of the driveway another person pulled off the tag and paid for it.  Ugh!

We were a bit discouraged.  Andrew picked up some egg cartons out of a "freebie" box.  He said, "Well, at least now we can't say we didn't find anything." :)

Andrew said he needed to go to the bathroom.  So we trecked across town to the nearest bathroom that didn't have a long line (Note: All those ladies in one town = a long line at every gas station bathroom!!).

When we got back in the vehicle Andrew said in a discouraged and somewhat doubtful tone, "Mom, I really hoped we'd find a bike and a wagon today."  I'm not always so good, but this time I got it right and recognized a teachable moment.  I said, "Andrew, it just may not be God's will for you to find those things today.  Then again, it might be.  If we don't find them today, it's because God has something better for you somewhere else for another day.  But let's just pray about it."

So, right there in the vehicle, as we were driving down the street (on the opposite side of town from where we were before) I said a simple prayer (eyes open of course!).  I said something like, "Dear Lord, you know Andrew would really like to find a wagon and a bigger bike today.  Will you just guide our way, show us where to go to find what you want us to find.  If we don't find a wagon or a bike today we will know it's okay because it just wasn't your will for us today and that something else will work out later.  But just guide us the way you want us to go.  And we will give you the glory either way.  In Jesus name, Amen."

I drove one block.  I could have turned right or left.  I went straight.  Another 1/2 block.  There was an orangey red 12" boys bike!  I said, "Andrew!  Look!"  He said, "Let's hurry up and get over there before someone else gets it!"  :)

We parked.  Ran up to the yard sale.  Looked at the bike.  It was marked FIVE DOLLARS!  I seriously went up to the man running the sale and said, "What does this tag say?"  He said with a smile, "I believe it says five dollars."  I said with a smile, "I believe we'll take it."  :)  Andrew pulled out his own $10 bill, handed it to the man and was thrilled to get change back.

Andrew pushed (it had flat tires so he couldn't ride it quite yet) his "new" five dollar bike to the van , skipping and smiling the whole way!  I exclaimed, "Andrew, God answered our prayer!  Not only did he give you a bike, He gave you a bike for only five dollars!!  God is soooo good!!"  Andrew beamed!

We saw several other bikes as we continued to yard sale that day, but not another one for five dollars!

There are people who believe God isn't interested in these "little" details of our lives (note: it wasn't so little to Andrew).  There are even people who think we shouldn't "bother" God with such minute details of our days when there are others who's needs are so much greater than ours.  I believe those people are so wrong.  We humans tend to think from such human perspective.

I believe it delights God when we pray about everything and anything that's important to us.  Philippians 4:6 tells us to "Don't worry about anything.  Pray about everything."  I believe that means just what it says.  Everything.

He is NOT a God of limited power or ability!  

There's no way we can exhaust His resources!  

He is not limited in how many prayers He can hear or ones He can answer.  

HE   IS  GOD  !!  

His ways are so above and beyond our ways.  

He most certainly does care for His creation, His children, His beloved ones...us.

The LORD directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
Psalm 37:23

I believe every detail means every detail!

He worked out the details...from a bathroom break that took us to the opposite side of town...to praying...to choosing to go straight rather than left or right...to this bike only being five bucks!  He knows all the details.

That day I knew God answered our prayer, that He directed our path to just the right bike for Andrew.  And he knew it too!  We prayed a prayer of thanksgiving together.  I could see faith rising up (even more) in my little boy as He saw how God answered our prayed.   Truly, it wasn't as much about a bike as it was about God showing His faithfulness to us, especially my growing 6 year old.  Neither of us will ever forget!

Throughout the rest of the day (as I became anxious about this or that) my Andrew reminded me two or three times, "Mom, God has a plan!"  Yes, He does, little buddy.  Yes. He. Does.  :)

Thank you again, dear LORD, for revealing your glory, power, loving care and attention to detail to us, even in the midst of such an ordinary, yard sale going day.  May Andrew and I (and those we tell this story to) always remember to pray about everything!  You are so good and simply amazing, Lord!  We give YOU glory!  In Jesus' precious name, Amen.

"You don't have what you want because you don't ask God for it.  And even when you ask, you don't get it because your motives are wrong - you want only what will give you pleasure."  James 4-2b, 3

We replaced a pedal and pumped up the tires.  Then Andrew broke in his "new" bike and got it dirty!

Maybe someday, we will find a bigger wagon.  Maybe not.  We're okay either way knowing God has a plan.  :)

Never be afraid to ask God for what you want.  

He cares.  He hears.  He answers.

Just remember to accept how He answers (what He gives you),

believing He has your BEST in mind!