Today I'm joining the Five Minute Friday link up with the prompt "Last". I will write for 5 minutes flat with not editing. :)
I look at his sweet, 3 year old face and I wonder, "Will he be the last?" My Noah. He is my little one. The one others say looks like me. The affectionate, compassionate, tender-hearted, very expressive little one. He melts my heart and makes me smile.
My oldest has his own special traits. Andrew is hard working, deep thinking, inquisitive, daring and a detail oriented leader (even at 6). He loves quality time with mom (which I love too!). But, his ability to freely and sincerely offer words of encouragement is one of the things I love about him most.
Both of them incredibly bright, talkative and full of energy. Each of them a unique and special individual.
I wonder what our three babies in Heaven would have been like blended into our family.
Sometimes with a bit of sadness I wonder, "Will he be the last?" I'm open to what God has for us. Another child or not. Another pregnancy, adoption or foster care. Something else? Still, I grieve what could have been. What I thought was a perfect plan.
As I cuddle my two growing babies, both last and first, I praise God for what He's given and I cherish them. Trusting that He gives what's best. Knowing I'm never His last priority, rather His first choice. So I surrender my ideas, in faith believing His plan is the perfect one...even when I don't understand all of it. Even when I have no idea what that plan will look like in the days ahead.
Today as I wonder about my future as a mom, I, one more time, but probably not for the last time, lift up my hands and let go to the One I trust. Whether Noah is my last child or not, I anxiously anticipate what God has for me next.