Helping Everyone "Out There"

I listened to her talk.  Telling me all about this big thing she had been working on.  All in the name of Christ, of course. 

She had spent time, quite a bit of it. 
She had spent money, quite a bit of it. 
She had exerted effort, quite a bit of it.
She used her God given talents and interests, quite a bit of them.

She was reaching out to the needy ones "out there".  People she didn't know.  But God knows.

I listened.  I wondered.  Nothing wrong with any of it.  But still I wondered, why? 

Not that she shouldn't, because somebody should.  But why all this time, money, effort and talent for this?  For them, the unknown?  What was the appeal?  Why not help those right here in front of her?  Honestly, I thought of my own need that day and wondered why she didn't notice.

Before I could examine her any further I knew I had to stop to look in the mirror first.  Take a look inward instead of judging outward.  Why do I do what I do?  I'm afraid I'm as guilty as anyone.

Ah, I spend so much time helping everyone "out there".  Three blogs.  Four Facebook pages.  Big women's events.  A few ministries that I participate in and/or support.

Not that I shouldn't, because somebody should.  But why all this time, money, effort and talent for these things? 

First, am I so busy helping everyone "out there", that I'm missing those right here? 

Because ministry doesn't just happen at a big event or soup kitchen or missionary post in Timbuktu.  Sure, it happens there, but just as much it happens in our own homes, communities, jobs and churches. How am I living out the message I say I believe?  Ministry happens on Facebook and blogs, sure.  But what about at the grocery store?  What about in my own home?  Quite honestly, it's easier, most of the time, to help everyone "out there". 

Then, I asked myself, "What's my motivation?"  Because the motivation of my heart is even more important than what I actually do! 

Donating money, running ministries and writing on Christian blogs sounds more glamourous than scrubbing floors and washing clothes.  But I don't think what the world sees as important is necessarily what God sees as important.  In fact, I don't think the things that impress the world impress Him at all.  Yet, do I seek their honor above His?

^"But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Matthew 20:26-28

It's good to check my heart.  Do I do these seemingly big things to look impressive and receive human glory?  Do I serve in the trenches when no one is looking, besides the One who matters, with humility and love as my Savior, Jesus, did?  Because scrubbing floors and washing clothes with the right heart attitude are pleasing to the One who made me and saved me.  They are service in His name just the same, if not more.

How many times in my attempt to help everyone "out there", have I missed the opportunity right here.  That sick friend who needed a meal.  The little son who needed some cuddle time.  The elderly neighbor who could use a call or visit.  A husband who needed his wife.  The department store clerk who needs an encouraging word.  I miss it too often.

It starts in the heart.

What should I be doing right here...with no other motivation but the love of Jesus that dwells in me? 

What should you be doing?  It's a question worth asking.

Note: God has ministry for us right here and out there. Both big and (seemingly) small. What a shame to miss any part of these divine opportunities.  Whatever He's leading me and you to do, may we do it with no other motivation but love.

 

"Take care! Don't do your good deeds publicly, to be admired, because then you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven. When you give a gift to someone in need, don't shout about it as the hypocrites do -- blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I assure you, they have received all the reward they will ever get. But when you give to someone, don't tell your left hand what your right hand is doing. Give your gifts in secret, and your Father, who knows all secrets, will reward you." Matthew 6:1-4

It begins here.  In the every day.  I serve.  But do I serve in love? 

What is my attitude when no one is looking, but Him?

The ones right here before my eyes (and their daddy) are my first ministry.

It starts in the heart.  Oh, not to forget!

 

Who has God put in your realm of influence?

 

Moms out there, check out this post I recently read about Christlike Mothering. Good!!

Relate?  Leave a comment.  I love hearing from friends...both right here and out there! :)
   

Oh, to Love Him More!

My husband ended up in the ER the night before last. Just a few hours after I said something I shouldn't have.

I spoke to a loved one earlier in the day. Someone who shared health concerns. I was reminded that life does not go on forever, that bodies fail and all people die. Even the strongest of us.

As I thought about and prayed for this person, emotion ovewehelmed me. I spent the evening thinking about all the things I take for granted. Of this fleeting life. Of regrets and goals to do better. I thought of the people I love and the way I wanted to show them more...much more.

In all the feelings I failed to see what was right before me.  To recognize the seriousness of my husband's pain. The pain of the man I say I love more than life. The pain he had told me he was experiencing. The pain I thought would go away. He seems so invincible. He's so healthy and strong. Rarely complains.

In the uproar of my feelings, concerns and contemplation of life, a remark my husband made, made me angry. I lashed out with hurtful words. Even as I said it, I knew it was wrong. Emotions getting the best of me. Still I spewed them. The tongue is like a blazing fire. Oh, to control it!

All that time thinking about what really matters...and the one who matters right before me, get's overlooked. He got the worst of me.

As I sat in the emergency room with my dear husband, I had more time to think. 1am...2am...3am...4am. It was 8am before he made it to surgery. An emergency laparoscopic appendectomy. I did not sleep all night, but that didn't matter. What mattered was he was getting the help he needed. I apologized for my words. He forgave me. I love yous were exchanged...and we meant it.

On Wednesday afternoon I thought all was well. Although these health issues have been brewing where I can not see, and where I do not know, in my world all seemed well. How quickly life can change. Oh, to remember! To live each moment as if this is my last chance.

My pastor reminded us on Christmas Eve that this life is about relationships, relationship first with God and then with others. And so I vowed that this year, this new year 2012, I will focus more wholey on something that has already been important to me, relationships. To live more as Christ, less selfishly and more lovingly. To love God with all my heart, mind and soul and to extend that love to others. If I love Him as I should, I will love others as I should.

Only days into this goal and I blow it. Letting hurtful words slip my lips, in one of the most important relationships in my life. Then, my husband gets sick and I kick myself.

BUT HIS mercies are new every morning! And really every moment. I start again, reaching for the goal. Living in this moment. Wishing to see, really see.

My heart echoes the words of Ann Voskamp "O Lord, open the eyes of my heart, the eyes of my hands, the eyes of my mouth, the eyes of my feet. I long to live all eye."

I asked my husband for forgiveness. He very graciously forgave me, saying that he understood. He loves me. I asked God for His forgiveness. He forgives and gives me new mercies. He loves me too. And I am so thankful! I decide to forgive myself...not looking back, but living in this moment and looking ahead to what He has for me to do next. Reaching towards the goal.

I hope to take my husband home from the hospital today. As he recovers from his surgery, I thank God that it wasn't much worse. I thank God for another chance.

Henry Blackaby wrote, "Jesus does not need your resolutions, your recommitments, or your promises to try harder this year. If your resolve to obey God last year (or last week) did not help you to be faithful, it will not make you successful this year. Jesus asks for your love. If you truly love Him, your service for Him in the new year will be of the quality that He desires."

Oh, to love Him more! Which will lead to loving others better...and speaking words that are filled with His grace, rather than fleshly poison. Help me, dear Jesus!

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

May the words of my mouth and the meditation

of my heart be pleasing in your sight,

O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Psalm 19:14

copyright Rachel Beran

Another Lesson from my 4 year old...Forgiveness

Oh, the things I learn from my children!

A few days ago I raised my voice at my 4 year old.  Yes, I know, I shouldn't do this.  And, yes, I know how important my words are...and that it's not Christ like to yell...and that I wasn't setting a good example for my children.  Yes, I know.  I am ashamed of it.  But, the truth is, I did what I know I shouldn't.

I'm sure you didn't assume I was perfect.  Of course, this all out proves that I am not.  As much as I love my boys and as much as I want to be the perfect mom, I still blow it more often than I'd like to.  Thankful for God's grace...and for continued growth. 

After I raised my voice, I felt terrible.  I asked the Lord to forgive me.  Then, I went with a repentant heart to ask my little Andrew for his forgiveness.  I said, "Andrew, I'm sorry for raising my voice at you.  That was't right.  Will you please forgive me?"  He said, "Yes, I forgive you, Mommy.  It's okay."  I said, "No, it's not okay, I shouldn't have raised my voice at you."  He looked surprised as he replied, "It's okay, Mommy.  I forgive you."  I told him thank you and out of my own shame said I was sorry again.  He said, "I forgive you, Mommy.  It's okay.  I already forgave you before you even asked."     

Did you catch that?  He already forgave me before I even asked! 

Wow!  Tears flooded my eyes...unmerited, undeserved forgiveness before I asked...just because he loves me!  What a relief!  What joy flooded my heart!   

I need to take a lesson from my 4 year old!!  Do you also?

Instead of taking offense, holding a grudge, and critically looking at another's faults; how much better to overlook and forgive...without being asked...not because it's merited or deserved...just because of LOVE!

Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you.

Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 

Colossians 3:13

I Love You More

Have you ever read the little book “Guess How Much I Love You” by Sam McBratney? Such a cute book. Little Nutbrown Hare wants to show his daddy just how much he loves him…as high as he can reach, as high as he can hop, as far as he can see. But, no matter how far his love reaches, his daddy tell him that he loves him further…reaching further, hopping higher and seeing beyond what he does. It soon becomes clear that our love is hard to measure. It’s a great book to share with the special children in your life

Sometimes I’m like Little Nutbrown Hare, I want to show my Father just how much I love Him…I reach as far as I can, do more, strive harder. But, no matter how far my love reaches, my Father tells me that He loves me more! He sees further and loves more perfectly than me.

This morning I wrote in my journal, “Oh Lord, I want more of You.” As soon as I wrote it something stirred within me. I walked away for a moment to care for one of my little ones. When I returned, I reread what I wrote…and realized what was wrong with this very “holy sounding” statement. I wrote, “Wait a minute, I already HAVE all of You!” It’s ME who has to submit all of myself to Him!

Jesus gave His life for me, what more could He give?

He chose me, I didn’t choose Him. (John 15:16)

I love Him because He first loved me. (I John 4:19)

I can never out-give, out-do or out-love Him!

It’s not about how high I can reach or how much I do. He loves me because I am His…and I love Him because He is mine! He’s given me all of Himself, all of His love. And I want to return His affection.

His love doesn’t give me the right to do whatever I want.  This also doesn’t mean I should sit back and do nothing to further His kingdom. It simply means that:

He love me…

all the time…

no matter what…

always and forever.

And everything that He has is mine!

It’s not about what I do, but who I am…HIS!

Today I needed this reminder. Thought someone else might too.

“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by brining us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son. He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.” Ephesians 1:3-8

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Mama Always Said (Repost)

Have been thinking a lot about my mom.  I didn't get to spend Mother's Day or her birthday, which was last weekend, with her.  So thankful that we remain close at heart...and for cell phones. :) 

I have also been thinking about my own parenting.  As I've thought about the kind of mother I have and the kind of mother I want to be,  this "old" blog post from February 27, 2010 came to mind.  Thought  I'd repost it in honor of my mom and with gratitude for all she has taught me.  Praying that I can remember and teach my own children well. 

As adults it’s easy to “pick apart” our parents. We often focus on the mistakes they made and the things that we want to differently with our children. We tend to forget that like them we are human, and our kids will find fault with our “perfect parenting” too (Ha! As if there is such a thing!).

Today I found myself instead focusing on all the things my mom got right. She’s taught me some things…some that I have applied, and some that I know I fall short of living fully. Still, I hope to pass on much of her wisdom, kindness and compassion to my children.

Thought maybe I’d share some her wisdom with you too. :)

Lesson 1: The golden rule, “Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you.” She taught me this not so much in word, but in action! If someone was in need she was the first one to jump in. She gave of herself without reservation, without laziness, without expectation of receiving anything in return. She often did these things silently, without bringing attention to herself, and out of the abundance of her loving, compassionate heart.

Which leads me to the next things she taught…

Lesson 2: Love others. Mom always has tended to see the best in people. She loved some pretty unlovable people. She remembered many that others forgot. She even said to love that not-so-good-looking, mean, toothless bully at school! She would remind me that even he probably had a mother at home who looks at him through adoring eyes, and more importantly a Heavenly Father who loves him unconditionally. She reminded me that everyone has a soul, and potential as a child of God.

Lesson 3: Hold your tongue. Now, I must admit I have a lot of work to do on this one, but it’s not because my mama didn’t teach me! Mom would be the first NOT to tell you that you don’t have to say everything that you think. :) If it’s not nice, or uplifting, or really needed, maybe you should just keep it to yourself. Speak up when it IS needed, in kindness and love, and because of your reputation people will be more likely to listen. You don't always have to defend yourself, trust the Lord to defend and protect you.

I’ll be honest, there were times when I was growing up when I saw this as a weakness in my mom. I would often think, “Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?” or “Why didn’t she just tell them what she thinks?” Now that I’m a woman myself I see the wisdom in sometimes staying silent. Not that I want to be a doormat, or that I can’t share my opinions when appropriate (believe me I have plenty of them!), but there is something beautiful about a woman with a gentle and quiet, reverent and respectful spirit. God’s Word says so, I Peter 3:4, “You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” My mom has an unfading beauty that you can not deny!

Lesson 4: Being a mom is the best job in the world. Tears came to my eyes immediately after I typed those words, emotions of gratitude for the mothering that my mom doted upon me, and the love that I have for my own child(ren). I remember my mom saying this to me when I was a teenager, and for the first time realizing the passion behind her words. She meant it!

My mom made sacrifices so that she could be home with me…even as a single mom (she did daycare in our home). She recognized the importance of her role in my life, and I never doubted her love for me. She took pride in and made being a homemaking mama her primary role (even in the midst of “bringing home the bacon” as a single mom). Our home was warm, inviting and a haven for me. Even though money was tight, there was always good food on the table, affection to be distributed and words of encouragement to be shared. I thank God soooo often for the example that she set for me!! (Note: I’m looking forward to her coming up to help me after Baby Beran is born, so that I can gain more wisdom from this child expert!) (Note: when I wrote this in February 2010 I was expecting our second child, Noah, who is now 14 months old)

Lesson 5: Don’t be lazy. That lady is a go-getter, I tell ya! For years, I thought she must be crazy the way she kept her house clean (even in the midst of watching everyone else’s kids!)…and kept herself busy. Like the Energizer bunny, she just kept going and going (hee hee) even when I know she must have been tired. She did her work joyfully, often humming the tune to, “Oh, how I love Jesus” as she went about her work. She gave me a real life model of the virtuous and capable woman described in Proverbs 31.

Hmmmm…come to think of it, all the things my mama taught me above are described in Proverbs 31...

“She is energetic and strong, a hard worker….Her hands are busy…She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy…She is clothed with strength and dignity...When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instruction with kindness…she suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her…a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.” Excerpts from Proverbs 31:17-31

I could go on and on and on listing things that my mama has taught me, but I’ll stop here. I’m praying that I can be more like my mom because being more like her would mean being more like Jesus.

My mom was not perfect, God is the only perfect parent, but she sure was good…and still is!!

I LOVE and APPRECIATE you, Mom!!

Tell me, what did your mama always say? What did she teach you without words? I’d love to hear!

Christmas…traditions, memories and focus

I haven’t blogged in a while. Sorry, I haven’t meant to be scarce, but the month of December brings a different focus for me.

December is busy…but in a good way. Busy with the fun stuff that memories are made of. Things like decorating a gingerbread house, stringing popcorn garland, making cutout cookies and wrapping gifts. Andrew and I have been having a lot of fun!

The snow in Iowa puts a twist on things and often makes travel from day to day a bit iffy (thank goodness for online shopping).

In the snow and ice we must make time for sledding (well they sled, I get out the camera and camcorder)! Oh, the joy of living on a gravel road!

Just trying to keep our 8 month old, Noah, away from the tree is a full time job! :) He’s crawling everywhere and pulling himself up to standing these days. He's growing and learning...and is very busy! 

So far his favorite thing about Christmas is the wrapping paper! :) 

I've been very reminiscent the last several days. I think Christmas tends to bring that out in me. I got to thinking about traditions. I don't remember many. I think my mom’s “tradition” was to do something different every year. We did a lot of fun things, usually involving making something, but we didn’t usually do it more than once. She always tried to think of something new and different and fun to do. Which I've realized was a fun tradition!  :)

As I've reminisced about Christmas’ past, I thought of all kinds of good memories…from yearly stockings full to the brim with all the little stuff that I loved (that was my favorite part)...to finding my Christmas presents in my mom’s closet one year and being MORE excited on Christmas Eve than ever because I couldn’t wait to play with that walking, barking dog (that was GREAT technology in the 80s, you know?!) that I had found...to playing “bingo” with my family (siblings, nieces, nephews, etc) every year. I loved being with my family! My mom made every Christmas magical and fun and special! So the one “tradition” I cherish the most is the LOVE that I felt…every year!

One of the greatest memories had to do more with giving gifts than it did receiving them. A very kind woman named, Margie, offered to take me Christmas shopping for my mom. She took me to town, gave me a budget and told me I could pick whatever I wanted for my mom. I loved it! I loved it sooo much! She marveled at how far I could make the dollars stretch.

When I was done picking my treasures, we would head back to her house to wrap the presents. I loved that too! Margie was patient and kind. Her husband, Jim (my mom’s first cousin), was sitting in the recliner when we arrived. I thought he was so nice and I loved his teasing and attention. Wrapping gifts was fun.

I felt like my little heart would burst I was so happy! Just thinking about my mom opening these gifts on Christmas morning simply thrilled me! Then, as if that wasn’t enough, Margie appeared with a gift…for me! I didn’t expect it. I was thoroughly surprised…and sooo happy! It was a Cabbage Patch doll…a real one, not a knockoff, a real one! :) Valerie Imogene, that was her name. She had pretty red hair and I loved her. And I could hardly wait for Christmas Day so my mom could open the gifts I knew she was going to love too.

Margie took me shopping like that for 3 years (if I remember right). My mom still has some of the gifts I picked for her…and I still have all 3 gifts that Margie gave to me. What great memories! And it’s all because someone chose to go out of their way to be loving and kind!! Jim and Margie didn’t have to do that, but they chose to…and that little girl, now a mommy herself, will never forget the LOVE!

Andrew and I have enjoyed a lot of fun Christmas activities together this year (and Noah will join us when he gets old enough). It will be interesting to see what traditions “stick” and which do not. What memories they will have and which ones they will forget. But, above all else I hope they remember the LOVE that surrounded them.

This year, I can hardly wait for our little boys to open their gifts because I know they’re eyes are going to light up. I’m thankful for the time with family and friends. I'm thankful for the time I had with my family in Indiana earlier this month and that we get to spend time with my husband's family later this month.  I pray these very important people will feel the LOVE that I have for them and HIS love shining through me! And that I can find ways to reach out to others like Margie did to me...without expecting anything in return.

So, I guess in short, this holiday season I am trying to spend time focusing on what is most important…LOVE. Although I often fall short and have to start all over again the next day, I’m focusing on my friends and family, my little ones and the little One who was born to die for my sins (and yours). He is the reason for it all! So thankful for the LOVE He showed...and continues to show to us each and every day!

No matter where you are in life...you can choose to do the same!

Make your own attitude that of Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be used for His own advantage. Instead He emptied Himself by assuming the form of a slave, taking on the likeness of men. And when He had come as a man in His external form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death-even death on a cross. Philippians 2:5-8

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

NO GREATER LOVE!!

What is your favorite memory? Your favorite tradition?

Where is your focus this Christmas? I’d enjoy hearing about it!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, friends!

Blessings

Someone told me the other day that when you bring home a new baby...

your home grows 2 feet.  :)

 I believe MY HEART has grown even more...

at least 2 or 3 sizes.  Before having my second child I

wondered how I could ever love another little person

as much as I did my first child. 

Then, amazingly enough when I saw him

my heart SWELLED. 

My love is not divided...

it has MULTIPLIED! 

As I've watched my newborn sleep...

I've fallen in love...again!

I've found such joy in watching my first born become

the "big brother"...

Eager to help...and gently love on his "baby bruder."

P.S. He kept calling him "Baby Jesus" for the first week or so. =)

Two beautiful faces...

both unique and special blessing from the Father!

Faces that make you smile...

and laugh out loud...

Bringing joy and merriment into our home...and hearts!

Blessed to have these 3 gorgeous guys in my life...

each of them a blessing sent straight from the LORD! 

Sent to me...

me, the girl who longed for,

but always secretly wondered

if she would ever be a wife and mother.

So thankful for God's rich blessings!

Love Others, Serve Others

I haven't been a very good blogger the last couple of weeks. The busyness of life and the achey, tiredness of third trimester pregnancy has consumed much of my time recently. In addition, I have been taking a bit of time to focus on some things that God has laid upon my heart. This focus is much needed, but hasn't left me with a lot of time to blog.

I sat down more than once to compose a post to share with you, my blog friends. Just didn't feel I could find a neat and tidy way to share all I want to say. Still don't think I can, so instead today I will share a few quotes, first from God's Word, then from other resources I have had the pleasure of enjoying lately. I think these quotes will reflect some of what I'd like to share with you.

The words of Jesus in John 13:34-35, “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

“Let there be real harmony…be of one mind united in thought and purpose.” I Corinthians 1:10

“…agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one heart and purpose. Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don’t think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing.”
Philippians 2:2-4

From Nancy Leigh DeMoss’ book, Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free in the chapter, Lies Women Believe…About Marriage:

“If I expect to be served, I will often be disappointed. If I seek to serve others, without expecting anything in return, I will never be disappointed. (Prov 31:10-31)”

“We are never more like Jesus than when we are serving others.
(John 13:5)”

From J. Otis and Gail Ledbetter’s book, Family Fragrance:

“Loving because someone deserves it doesn’t work. Sooner or later that kind of love will shipwreck. … The model God gave us is that affection does not need a reason, only an object.”

“Modeled day in and day out, children pick up on unselfish attitudes. They begin to live them as well when serving is done in a spirit of affection and positive feeling.”

From Lysa TerKeurst’s new book, Becoming More Than A Good Bible Study Girl:

“Instead of looking at the ministry options our church offers and asking, ‘Which one will meet my needs and feed me the way I need to be fed?’ we must look at our church and ask, ‘Where can I make a difference in the body of Christ?’’”

The message is clear: Love others, serve others. I believe this kind of unconditional, servant love begins with the people within our own home, then extends to our extended family and our church family, then branches out to the rest of the world.

What really sets us apart as Christian believers? Is the love that we have for one another something unique and special, an example to our children as well as to the rest of the world? Something to be desired? Do we show others the kind of love that Christ has shown to us?

I don’t want to be guilty of just saying that I love others and not really showing it, of being self-centered and "me" focused. I also don’t want to get so busy trying to reach out to everyone else and forsake to show Christ’s love and a servant’s heart towards those within my own realm of influence, those God has placed in my life for a very specific purpose, those that are most important to me. Not loving, serving, submitting out of duty; instead loving, serving, submitting out of a full heart...joyfully, humbly, because I really love.

I pray that the world will see the love that we have for one another and be drawn to Christ because of it.

By the way, I highly recommend each of the resources above! :)

What Makes You Feel Loved?

Andrew in Feb of 2009

A few months ago Renee Swope shared on her blog about asking her son, Andrew, the question, “What makes you feel loved?” I thought the blog post she shared was very good. I also thought that my little Andrew (2½ at the time) was probably too young to understand that question, but wanted to be sure to remember it so that I could ask him in the future.
Last week Andrew (who will be 3 on the 30^th) and I were playing in his room. It was just me and him. Suddenly, the question “popped” into my mind which is actually kind of strange since I hadn’t thought of it again since reading it. Within a matter of seconds different thoughts crossed my mind like, “He’s too young to understand that” to “I could always rephrase the question if I need to” to “Well, it doesn’t hurt to ask him…if he doesn’t understand it now, I can always ask again later.” So…I asked.

I said, “Andrew, what makes you feel loved?” He said, “Huh?” I asked again, “What makes you feel loved?” He said, “Ummmm…” I decided to rephrase the question. I asked, “What do you like that Mommy does with you or for you the verrrry most?” He didn’t hesitate. He drew out his words, “When you pray with me.” I thought, “Wow, really?! Huh! How incredible is that?!” I didn’t realize that.

Maybe this momma is making more of it than it really is, but that seems HUGE to me! He didn’t say when we play together, do puzzles, read books or even when I do special craft projects with him. He didn’t say when I buy him toys or candy or when I take him somewhere special. He didn’t say when I make his meals, wash his clothes or bathe him. He didn’t even say when we cuddle on the couch (although I know he loves that). Nope, he said, “When you pray with me.”

Does he just like this family ritual (his daddy often prays along with us)? Or does he sense something significant about this activity? Prayer is something I believe he is starting to understand…and I pray (and believe) is being permanently instilled in his heart as an important part of the day. Still, I’m not sure what made Andrew think of this when I asked (and rephrased), “What makes you feel loved?”

What I do know is this: it reminds me of what is truly important! All of the other activities (or at least most) I mentioned above are good and much needed also; yet it’s those simple, yet meaningful things that mean the most! He wants ME. He wants my time and attention, taking the time to pray with him. He wants to know that he is important to me. When I pray with him he must sense the love I have for him and for God. I am teaching him by example and beginning a legacy. Honestly, I may not know the true significance and value of this time together for many years to come.

When I was sharing this story with a friend at church today she said something profound. She said as I was telling her the story she thought of what God might say if we asked him that same question, “What makes you feel loved?” And she wondered if he would say something like, “When you pray to me.” Wow!
God wants our time too!! He wants US. He wants our time and attention, to be glorified. He wants to know that He is important to us, to be praised. When we pray He knows of our love for Him…and others. Our time with Him is significant, valuable and needed! (Note: He always has time for us, is available and willing to listen too. I don’t know about you, but I would say that, that sure does make ME feel loved!)

I am in the midst of reading three different books at the moment. Interestingly enough all three of them came to a point this past week where they were focusing on (what else?!)…PRIORITIES. Each of them contributing to what God had already been laying on my heart.

Although it is important to meet the needs of my family, I can not spend my whole day fretting over making meals, cleaning house or doing laundry. If I am too busy trying to minister to people outside of my home to focus on the ones within my home than my priorities are “out of whack.” If I’m too busy trying to find ways to bring in extra income so that Andrew can have one more toy or treat, I’m really “missing the boat.”
Of all the things I can do throughout my day, my number one priority must be spending time with God, building that relationship. Then, as a wife and mother, my next priority must be the people within my own home, my family. They are the number one ministry God has given to me.

Quality time with God. Quality time with our family. These are the MOST important things we can do throughout our day!!

What makes you feel loved? What do you think makes your kids, husband or other loved ones feel loved? Why don’t you ask them today? You might be surprised by their answer!