I’ve heard it said, “Waiting is the hardest part.” I’m not sure that’s true in every case, but for a girl like me whose greatest virtue has never been patience, I’d say it’s true more often than not. :)
I’m two weeks from my baby’s expected due date. I haven’t been feeling well the last few days. I went to my weekly prenatal checkup this morning and things are progressing right along. Yet, I wait! I try to stay busy. Then again, I wait! The waiting seems to be the hardest part. It’s nerve racking not knowing when it will happen or what to expect next. Although I’ve had a baby before, this experience could be completely different. I wonder how it will all take place, what it will be like, what my child will look like…and still I wait.
I should be better at waiting than what I am. I have had to wait a lot in my lifetime. My patience level has improved as I’ve learned more about Christ and have lived to practice more of His patience in my life…especially as a wife and mother. Still, I found myself saying a rather impatient prayer this morning, “God, would you please just let this baby come now?”
After saying it I realized that although God hears my prayers, He also knows the precise right moment for this baby to be born. He knows what’s best for me, what’s best for our baby. He created this life I’m nurturing and has already predetermined the exact number of days of my child’s life! Why wouldn’t I trust His timing over my feelings? Because I’m impatiently waiting, that’s why?!
As I thought about this it got me to thinking some more (hey, a 38 week pregnant girl has to have things to keep her mind pre-occupied, you know?!) I asked myself: How many times has God waited on me?!
I think about the time I spent running from Him and His will for my life. I had felt such a closeness to Him early in life and then turned my back on Him as a young adult. How did He feel then? I think of Him patiently waiting (like the father of the prodigal son). Then, I see Him with arms open wide and tears in His eyes as I came back to Him in repentance. He gracefully accepted me just as I was, without reservation or condemnation. He wrapped His arms around me and said, “I’ve been waiting!” Oh the joy, as He accepted His child into His arms, embracing the lamb that was once lost!
At times like these I picture Him with His head in His hands saying, “When will she ever learn?“ Even as He prompts my spirit, He patiently waits!
Thank you Lord for being patient with me, your child. Thank you for lovingly accepting me, faults and all, embracing me with your loving kindness and grace. Thank you for your forgiveness and salvation! Forgive me now for my tendency to be forgetful, doubtful and impatient. Teach me more of Your ways and help me not to forget to seek them! Thank you for not giving up on me…even though I know you’ve done a lot of waiting.
…the LORD longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; how blessed are all those who long for Him.
Isaiah 30:18 (NASB)