There, I admitted it. They say admitting that you have a problem is the first step to recovery, right? Hmm…I’ve admitted it several times and still, change comes slowly.
I have been reminded over and over lately that I am not the one in control. God is. And, yet, somehow I seem to cling to this false sense of some type of control. I go along trusting God and following His lead closely for a while, and then, it’s as if I forget. I find myself beginning to fret and wonder, trying to plan out my life and seeking after my desires. I believe many of us all too easily slip away from what we know to be true. He is God, and we are not.
As I read earlier this week I was reminded that my Lord has all authority (Matt 9:6-7). Then, that I need to seek Him and His kingdom above all things (Matt 6:33). It’s all too easy to chase after the things of this world even when we think we are not. We try to plan our lives. We seek after satisfaction in things, activities and even our families. We get tangled up in self-promotion, recognition and what others think of us.
Matthew 6:33 says to seek after Him, His kingdom, first and live righteously, then we will be given everything we need. Everything we need. Not what we think we need…what we do need. That’s where trust comes in. He knows what we really need, we don’t. Not really. And we have to trust His plan for our lives, moment by moment, step by step. Even when it’s hard. Even when, especially when, it’s not easy to see why, and where that next step is going to take us.
The control freak in me wants to see the plan laid out before me. To know how things will turn out and what that will look like. That’s not faith. So I submit again to the One who has all authority. The One Who called me to seek after Him, first and only. And in faith believe that He, the source of all we need, will provide at just the right time and in just the right way, always.
The control freak in me wants to please everyone, have the perfect family, to know that all of my needs will be met. But He asks us to trust Him. To seek after Him first. That means to seek to obey and please him first. That means to find satisfaction in Him first. That means letting go of our "perfect" plan to rely on Him, the One who knows the perfect plans He has for us (Jer 29:11).
What consumes your control freak thoughts? That next step. Marriage. Children. Safety. What others think. Your job. A ministry opportunity. Rain. Fear of failure. Whatever it is, submit your desires, dreams, plans and wants to the Lord of all authority. Trust Him. Seek His kingdom and live righteously. When you do He promises to provide all you really need. And He never breaks a promise!
"This is the blessed life--not anxious to see far in front, nor eager to choose the path, but quietly following behind the Shepherd, one step at a time....The Oriental shepherd was always out in front of the sheep. He was down in front. Any attack upon them had to take him into account. Now God is down in front. He is in the tomorrows. It is tomorrow that fills men with dread. God is there already. All the tomorrows of our life have to pass Him before they can get to us." Rev F.B. Meyer, Streams in the Desert