Monday, November 3, 2014

Building Faith Muscles

It seems like it would be easier not to change things...


It seems like it would be easier to leave our family structure the way it is; everyone knows their role.   Our boys are getting bigger, more self-sufficient. Although we always thought we would like a bigger family, we've become quite satisfied  and content with the one God's given us.  Life is good.

It seems like it would be easier to avoid the stress; not to have to wait on court dates and judges rulings, important phone calls, DHS decisions that could change everything; to depend on a bunch of people we don't know to do their jobs and to do the right things.  Easier to stay where we're comfortable.  To avoid the anxiety inducing variables that seem to accompany every adoption process.

It seems like it would be easier to just stay home rather than running off to visits, drop offs and pick ups. To avoid the chaos of going back and forth, changing routine and having to say goodbye again and again to a child we wish we could keep with us.

It seems like it would be easier not to have to answer so many questions.  While it's nice people are interested (and praying), it's not easy explaining over and over again; hearing everyone's comments and opinions.  It's even harder to know what to say and what not to say.  There are rules we need to follow.  (But I don't want people to stop asking.  We'll share what we can...and ask you to pray)

It seems like it would be easier just not to. Not to set ourselves, and our two biological children, up for potential heartbreak.  It feels risky. There are so many unknowns, uncertainties and undetermined details.  We've been investing in, and now have fallen in love with, a child we're not even sure we're ever going to get to  call "ours".  And no one can tell us if we will or won't.  No one knows but God.

Yes, it seems like it would be easier.  But would it?  The real question is, is it suppose to be easy?!

We didn't go into foster care and adoption because we were seeking easy and simple. We began this journey because we felt the LORD prompting our hearts. We felt called. We had a desire to help children. We saw the need. We wanted to obey God.

Let's go back a little...

Honestly, it would have been easier not to go to ten weeks of three hour classes an hours drive away.  To go through background checks, fill out mounds of paperwork, be analyzed and have three home studies!  But we kept stepping forward in faith believing we would be used of God to make a difference in the life of a child or two.

It seems easier not to...

Then we see the face of this child; smiling, sweet, precious.  A completely lovable child who deserves a stable, loving family; one like ours.  A vulnerable child who depends on strangers to make right choices on his/her behalf.  A child who is worth the effort!  A child who fits right in to our family and brings much joy to our hearts.  It becomes obvious...this is why we're doing this!  We only want what's best for this dear little one; dear to us and dear to God.  It's really not about us, or our comfort level.  We would never turn our backs on this little one.

Then we hear another uncertainty, a huge hitch in "our plans".  Then another one.  Things I can't share.  But, trust me, they are anxiety inducing. 

"But God doesn't call us to be comfortable.  He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through."  Francis Chan

Yep, today it seems easier to avoid all of this....but it wouldn't be.  God has called us here for such a time as this; for such a child as this.  We love this child already.  God loves this child much more!  We pray.  We hope.  We believe.  If we never get to adopt this child, we will still be better for having known him/her.  We've already learned quite a bit through this process.

God whispers to our hearts, "You say you trust me.  Do you?"  We are building faith muscles that apparently needed a bit more exercise. 

Things may not go the way we think they should.  He never promised this life would be easy.  In fact, He told us in His Word that there would be trials of many kinds.  BUT He did promise that He would walk closely with those of us who love Him.  He promised good things for us who love Him. When we're coasting along,  in ease and comfort, there's no need to cling to such promises.  It's when we recognize how much our lives are out of our control that we turn more fully to Him. 

So for now I meditate on scriptures like this one...

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trails of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

When I consider these verses I don't want easy...I want to be a woman who walks in faith, develops perseverance and fully trusts the God I serve to do what is best; knowing His best is truly our best case scenario.  I will ask for what I want.  I will do the next right thing. Not because I'm so awesome...because I serve a God who is!! I will remind myself that He is God and I am not.  It is a choice to believe what His Word says; He has good plans for us (Jeremiah 29:11) and we can trust Him (Proverbs 3:5-6).

I've had a bit of experience with Faith in the Waiting.  It's definitely not easy!  But I can choose faith.  When my flesh feels anxious because I can't see what He is up to (which is often) and my heart is troubled, it's just another opportunity to take Him at His Word.  I pray we will, and believe our faith muscles will be strengthened in the process.

As we continue to wait I will find joy in the honor to know and pray for this little one.  We will love on this child as if he/she is staying forever.  And I will remind myself...

"Don't let your heart be troubled.  Trust in God, and trust also in me (Jesus)...I am leaving you with a gift ~ peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid." John 14:1, 27
 
"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand." Isaiah 41:10

2 comments:

  1. So good Rachel! It truly has been encouraging to watch you take one step at a time on the journey God is leading you on. Just today we were reading Ephesians 2 and in my Bible next to verse 10, I had wrote "Good works, not necessarily fun or easy, but remember they are good and from God and for Him." Keep pressing on...you glorify Him and encourage us!!
    Off to stretch a few muscles myself...no big thing on tap for today, but with the chaos in our house this AM I know God is asking me to lean on Him and do the things, say the things and have the patience that only comes from Him!! Blessings and prayers for all of you!

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  2. God's blessings on you as you pray and prepare for whoever God brings your way.

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