Blessings

Someone told me the other day that when you bring home a new baby...

your home grows 2 feet.  :)

 I believe MY HEART has grown even more...

at least 2 or 3 sizes.  Before having my second child I

wondered how I could ever love another little person

as much as I did my first child. 

Then, amazingly enough when I saw him

my heart SWELLED. 

My love is not divided...

it has MULTIPLIED! 

As I've watched my newborn sleep...

I've fallen in love...again!

I've found such joy in watching my first born become

the "big brother"...

Eager to help...and gently love on his "baby bruder."

P.S. He kept calling him "Baby Jesus" for the first week or so. =)

Two beautiful faces...

both unique and special blessing from the Father!

Faces that make you smile...

and laugh out loud...

Bringing joy and merriment into our home...and hearts!

Blessed to have these 3 gorgeous guys in my life...

each of them a blessing sent straight from the LORD! 

Sent to me...

me, the girl who longed for,

but always secretly wondered

if she would ever be a wife and mother.

So thankful for God's rich blessings!

BABY NEWS!!

It's a boy!!

NOAH BENJAMIN BERAN

born on

Tuesday, April 13th at 9:08am

(11 days early.  Didn't have to wait much longer, did I?!?!)

 He weighed in at 8lb, 6oz

and was 20 1/2 inches long

Both baby Noah and Mommy are doing well.

Noah is just precious, completely perfect and

a wonderful blessing from the LORD!

Big brother Andrew is adjusting quite well

even though at first he thought Noah

should have been a girl and that we should

have named him Checkers.  :) 

Now he says he loves everything about his baby brother.

He's been Mommy's eager little helper.

Very sweet!

We are blessed indeed!!

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body

and knit me together in my mother's womb.

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! 

Your workmanship is marvelous - how well I know it.

Psalm 139:13-14

Thank you for your continued prayers blog friends! :)

Waiting!

I’ve heard it said, “Waiting is the hardest part.” I’m not sure that’s true in every case, but for a girl like me whose greatest virtue has never been patience, I’d say it’s true more often than not. :)

I’m two weeks from my baby’s expected due date. I haven’t been feeling well the last few days. I went to my weekly prenatal checkup this morning and things are progressing right along. Yet, I wait!  I try to stay busy. Then again, I wait! The waiting seems to be the hardest part. It’s nerve racking not knowing when it will happen or what to expect next. Although I’ve had a baby before, this experience could be completely different. I wonder how it will all take place, what it will be like, what my child will look like…and still I wait.


I should be better at waiting than what I am. I have had to wait a lot in my lifetime. My patience level has improved as I’ve learned more about Christ and have lived to practice more of His patience in my life…especially as a wife and mother. Still, I found myself saying a rather impatient prayer this morning, “God, would you please just let this baby come now?”


After saying it I realized that although God hears my prayers, He also knows the precise right moment for this baby to be born. He knows what’s best for me, what’s best for our baby. He created this life I’m nurturing and has already predetermined the exact number of days of my child’s life! Why wouldn’t I trust His timing over my feelings? Because I’m impatiently waiting, that’s why?!


As I thought about this it got me to thinking some more (hey, a 38 week pregnant girl has to have things to keep her mind pre-occupied, you know?!) I asked myself:  How many times has God waited on me?!

I think about the time I spent running from Him and His will for my life. I had felt such a closeness to Him early in life and then turned my back on Him as a young adult. How did He feel then? I think of Him patiently waiting (like the father of the prodigal son). Then, I see Him with arms open wide and tears in His eyes as I came back to Him in repentance. He gracefully accepted me just as I was, without reservation or condemnation. He wrapped His arms around me and said, “I’ve been waiting!” Oh the joy, as He accepted His child into His arms, embracing the lamb that was once lost!

Even after surrendering my life to Christ, I have spent some time running from His perfect will for me. I’ve wasted time trying to do things my own way and running from the things He’s called me to. He’s dealt with me in a certain areas of my life, to be more obedient or disciplined, and because of my own stubbornness there have been times when it has taken me a long time to submit. I’ve failed to or at least been slow to pray over situations that have risen in my life, either forgetting the power I have available to me or foolishly thinking I could handle it on my own…or in my own strength. Again, my Father patiently waited! And eagerly answered when I called! This growing process continues in my life.

At times like these I picture Him with His head in His hands saying, “When will she ever learn?“ Even as He prompts my spirit, He patiently waits!

I’m thankful He’s never been impatient with me. He never gives up on me! He waits patiently…loving, guiding and teaching! I am a work in progress.

Oh, and I will wait also (like it or not!). Perhaps today He is trying to teach me to have more patience. When will I ever learn?! :)

Thank you Lord for being patient with me, your child. Thank you for lovingly accepting me, faults and all, embracing me with your loving kindness and grace. Thank you for your forgiveness and salvation! Forgive me now for my tendency to be forgetful, doubtful and impatient. Teach me more of Your ways and help me not to forget to seek them! Thank you for not giving up on me…even though I know you’ve done a lot of waiting.
　
…the LORD longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you.  For the LORD is a God of justice; how blessed are all those who long for Him.
Isaiah 30:18 (NASB)

True Freedom

My life was a mess! It really was.

Despite being raised in a Christian home by a godly mother, going to Christian school, attending church regularly, making a commitment to Christ at a young age, being saturated with the truth of God’s Word day in and day out as I grew up, as a young adult I chose a different path for myself.

Somewhere along the way, even though I knew it was wrong and I consistently felt the Lord calling me back to Himself, I decided that I wanted to do things my own way. I didn’t want to answer to Him. I turned my back on Him and out into the world I went. It wasn’t one giant step, just one small step at a time. It didn't seem that bad at first. In fact, it seemed quite inviting, and for a while I thought I was having a pretty good time. I so ignorantly thought I was free. I did what I wanted.

I’ll spare you all the gory details, just take my word for it, sin took me further than I wanted to go, and kept me longer than I wanted to stay. All my “freedom” and “fun” had led to bondage. I was miserable, lost, broken. Although I promised myself that I would never feel regret, I felt an overpowering regret and oppression hover over my life like a dark cloud. I felt like my life was headed no where fast and, honestly, I wasn’t sure that I wanted it to continue.

It was in February of 2004 that my knees hit the floor. Cries from my broken heart pleaded with the Lord to forgive me for my rebellious ways. I told Him that I wanted to change. That I wanted to live for Him. That I knew that I was dirty and broken, but would He please renew me to live a life for Him and His service. I meant it and God heard my prayer.

Something extraordinary happened within me that day. For the first time in a long time, faith welled up inside me. My heart changed. I knew-I JUST KNEW-that He was doing a brand new thing in my life (Isaiah 43:18 & 19).

I changed that day…and the evolution has continued from there. As I’ve continued to surrender more to Him and His will for my life the more freedom I have experienced. I feel peace, hope and joy that was completely lacking in my life before. I know where I put my trust, and it isn’t in temporal worldly pleasures.

If there is one thing I’d like to tell the world…all people, all my friends and family and acquaintances…it would be this: there is a REAL God that works in our REAL lives in this very REAL world! It isn’t about being spiritual or religious, it’s about a personal relationship with a REAL God that loves me, and He loves you too. I didn’t always believe that, but I know it to be true in my life today. I know where I was and I know where I am now. I cringe to think of where I COULD be today, and am thankful that He loved me so much that He took me, dirty and broken, and gave me a NEW LIFE!

You can readily recall, can’t you, how at one time the more you did just what you felt like doing-not caring about others, not caring about God-the worse your life became and the less freedom you had? And how much different is it now as you live in God’s freedom, your lives healed and expansive in holiness? Romans 6:19 (MSG)

YES I DO readily recall!! And I am extremely grateful that I now live in freedom, healing and holiness. Ironically, when I gave up my life, surrendered to Christ, I found true freedom. 

This is really what Easter is all about, friends! This is why God sent His son, why He chose to humble Himself to come to earth as a human; to voluntarily die a disgraceful, excruciatingly painful death; to willingly take upon Himself our sins and iniquities; to arise from death to life on the third day...so that we too may live.  To live eternally, yes. Yet, also so that we can live life abundantly NOW, in true freedom with peace, hope and joy that the world does not offer. He loved us that much!!

Each of us have a choice, we can “hold on” to our lives or we can surrender them to the Savior who gave His life for us, accepting His truth, His grace and His will for our lives. It’s not a one time decision, it is a daily choice. Take it from someone who knows, you must first “lose” your life to find true freedom. He is what each of us need. None of us are “good enough” on our own…or have been “too bad” to receive His grace!

Thank You Lord Jesus for Your love, grace and mercy. Thank You for giving up Your life so that I may LIVE…and not just live, but TRULY live in the freedom only You offer. Thank you for forgiving me and allowing me to move so far beyond my past mistakes. Thank you for doing a “brand new thing” in my life. I pray that I will continue to die daily to myself, to my selfish desires, self-doubt and self-will, so that I can experience all the good You have planned for me. TRUE freedom! Give me courage to share You with others in my life…knowing that You are the life-giving Savior we all need in order to experience the abundant life we each desire. Let my life be an example. Help me shine Your light into the darkness of this world, sharing Your LIFE and love with others. May You be glorified!

Do you know Him, dear reading friend?  I mean, REALLY know Him?  Are you experiencing the abundant LIFE, the TRUE freedom He promises to those who serve Him?  Do you believe that He died for YOU? 

If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  Romans 10:9...Christ's love controls us.  Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life.  He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves.  Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them.  II Corinthians 5:14 & 15 … anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! II Corinthians 5:17
Previously you let yourselves be slaves to impurity and lawlessness, which led ever deeper into sin. Now you must give yourselves to be slaves to righteous living so that you will become holy…You are now ashamed of the things you use to do, things that end in eternal doom. But now you are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of God. Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 6:19 and 6:20b-23 (NLT)

I read this quote recently, “It was not the nails, but Jesus' amazing love for us, that held Him to that cross." He had the power to remove himself from that cross, but He chose not do so.

He did this for ME. He did this for YOU. LIFE is His free gift to us, if we accept it.

I'm Huge

Well, I guess it's happened...apparently I'm officially HUGE.  :)

This morning after the service an older woman in our church made about 4 or 5 comments during our very brief conversation about how big my pregnant belly is getting .  She said something about how I only have a couple more weeks before our baby is due.  I said, "Well, about 5 weeks."  She said something like, "Wow!  Just imagine how huge (she might have said big, but huge is the word that stuck in my mind...LOL) you'll be in 4 or 5 more weeks!"  Thanks a lot, dear sister!  :)

You know, there were several other people who made comments to me today.  A couple of people told me how good I look (being pregnant), three people complimented me on the purple top I was wearing (and that it's a good color on me), two people complimented my hair (and the scarf I had in it); yet the negative comments were the ones that stuck in my mind.  Words really are a powerful force, aren't they?!

For our women's Sunday School class we have been studying the Wisdom of Proverbs (a study by Wendy Blight).  Ironically, this week we studied Proverbs chapters 10 and 18 focusing on controlling our tongues, and that's what we discussed today.  Note: the elderly lady I mentioned above doesn't normally attend Sunday school, but I'm thinking perhaps she would have benefitted from this weeks study.  hee hee  :)

During Sunday School we discussed how our words can either "build up" another or can "tear" them down (can give life or death).  Now, I must say, I know that the dear sister mentioned above wasn't trying to hurt me with her words.  We're all guilty at times of speaking words in haste, without thinking and without regard to the effects, still today her words and the positive words of others were a great picture in my mind of what was already revealed to me this week through God's Word.  Our words are powerful!  This was just a SMALL thing.  It really was.  However, it was also a GREAT BIG reminder to me that I'd rather be the one speaking positive, uplifting, life-giving words, than the one making the negative, not-so-helpful comment without even thinking.   

This woman's words weren't poisonous or perverse or violent (and I'm honestly not trying to be hard on her!!).  However, her words weren't exactly "life giving" either.  Before we say what's on our mind it is good to ask ourselves, "Is this true? Is it kind?  Is it helpful?  Is it needed/necessary?"  

True: Yes.  Although I  haven't gained as much weight with this baby as I did with my last, I can tell that my belly IS indeed bigger.  So, yes, my sister's words are True.

Kind: Although they weren't necessarily said in a mean-hearted, unkind spirit, I'd say no...not so kind. :)

Helpful: Not so much.  The last thing a pregnant woman wants to hear is how HUGE she is.  lol

Needed/Necessary: Nope.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, a person shouldn't make a comment to a pregnant woman about her appearance unless telling her, "You look great!" or "You're glowing."  Being preggers can be tough.  Why not "build up" a sister?!?!  Find something positive to say.  It's not like we pregnant women can help how big our belly gets.   

No worries, dear reader!  Although I'm using this woman's words to make a point here, I'm really taking them lightly, choosing to laugh about her comments and to consider the source.  My husband and I have had some great laughs about it already several times today. 

I'm not going to spend the following weeks worrying about it.  Instead I'm going to enjoy it.  Maybe we will have more children down the road, maybe we won't.  Regardless, this special time of THIS pregnancy will only last a little while longer.  So, I'll enjoy feeling the baby move within my womb (guessing whether that's a knee or an elbow that I see moving across my belly), praying for the baby's health and thanking God that we are both growing!  Soon I'll get to hold and snuggle my precious baby...AND my belly will shrink.  :)

My big belly will go away, but I pray that this lesson on controlling my tongue remains with me forever!  I want my words to be full of wisdom, to be encouraging, uplifting, positive, peaceful, gentle, loving, kind; so I'm going to try to ask myself BEFORE I speak, "Is this true?  Is this kind?  Is this helpful?  Is this needed/necessary?" even in the seemingly small things.  If the answer is no, I pray I'll remember to zip up my lips...and spare those around me.  :)  LORD, help me!!

Wise words satisfy like a good meal; the right words bring satisfaction.  The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.  Proverbs 18: 20-21
      

Marvelous Workmanship!

Baby Beran is due in 6 weeks...

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body

and knit me together in my mother's womb.

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!

Your workmanship is marvelous--how well I know it.

You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,

as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.

You saw me before I was born. 

Every day of my life was recorded in your book.

Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.

They can not be numbered!

Psalm 139:13-17

Awesome!  God is just awesome!  As I read this passage this morning

 I found myself basking in the awe of God's marvelous workmanship.  

Although I already love my baby, I have felt it actively moving,

heard it's heartbeat, eagerly await it's arrival; 

 I do not really know my baby yet...but God does!

He is knitting this child together in my womb,

even the delicate, inner parts...my child's very being.

God has a plan for my child's life, He knows every detail.

This child has a unique purpose, no one else has ever been or 

ever will be just like him/her.

Precious in His sight...even now! 

But this isn't true only of Baby Beran or David who wrote the Psalm above

(or even just for my 3 year old Andrew above)...

it's true for ME and YOU!

Read the previous verses found in Psalm 139:1-6

O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.

You know when I sit down or stand up. 

You know my thoughts even when I'm far away.

You see me when I travel and when I rest at home.

You know everything I do.

You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord.

You go before me and follow me. 

You place your hand of blessing on my head.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

too great for me to understand!

He knows every detail of our lives, friends!  From the beginning...

to the end and everything inbetween! 

He wove YOU together in your mother's womb!

He knows YOU and the details of YOUR life!

 YOU are His unique and special creation!

He has a plan and a purpose for YOUR life;

ones only YOU can fill!

He knows everything about YOU,

YOUR thoughts, feelings and dreams!

He wants to bless YOU!

His thoughts of YOU are precious...

and too numerous for YOU to count!

...they outnumber the grains of sand!

And when I wake up, you are still with me!

Psalm 139:18

Do you believe it?

Do you really believe it?!

As I apply this to my life, I find myself in awe

saying much like David did...

This is just too wonderful,

His ways too great for me to comprehend!

But I believe it and I

thank you, LORD!!

Seasons

Spring is near. Not quite here yet, but I can feel it in the air. I love seeing the sunshine…and some of the massive mounds of snow melting. There will probably be some more cold, windy, snowy days before the month of March comes to an end, but we know we’re in the home stretch now.

I’m probably the only person in Iowa who would say the winter has gone fast. Although it has been a long, harsh winter, I made a decision at the beginning of it to simply keep a good attitude (not always easy!!). To help the matter, we’ve been working at remodeling our basement this winter…helping the time speed by as we’ve kept busy. Now here we are, it’s almost spring (and less than 7 weeks from our baby’s due date)!

Life is like that. The time always goes by. We have seasons in our life (like a long winter in Iowa) that we “wish away”. We tend to be always longing for something better…easier…more appealing. Then, before we know it, sure enough, the season passes and we’re on to the next one. Unfortunately, that “more appealing” season rushes by just as quickly (or more so).

The wise words of Solomon in Ecclesiastes 3:11-13 tell us, “God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. So I conclude there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God. “

I’m starting to understand how the older generation must feel. How often have you heard one of them say, “Just enjoy this time, it goes quickly” or like my own mom, “Don’t wish your life away.” There is wisdom in their words. They know that life is fleeting, and want us to grasp that knowledge now while there is time.

I don’t want to spend my life waiting for that next blissful season, only to find myself at the end of my life, never having enjoyed the days God gave to me! I don’t want to spend my life “going through the motions”, I want to enjoy it!

I like this quote from Jane Canfield, “The happiest people are rarely the richest, or the most beautiful, or even the most talented. Happy people do not depend on excitement and ‘fun’ supplied by externals. They enjoy the fundamental, often very simple, things of life. They waste no time thinking other pastures are greener. They do not yearn for yesterday or tomorrow. They savor the moment, glad to be alive, enjoying their work, their families, the good things around them. They are adaptable, they can bend with the wind, adjust to the changes in their times, enjoy the contests of life, and feel themselves in harmony with the world. Their eyes are turned outward, they are aware, compassionate. They have the capacity to love.”

Enjoy the simple things of life. Savor the moment. Be adaptable. Love and serve others…thinking outside of yourself. Not just when things are going good, but all the time! We may not be able to see the “scope” of God’s plan, but He can…and we can trust Him! That gives us such peace, hope and joy!

As a Christian I know that God promises me:

A rich and satisfying life. A life of fullness. (John 10:10)
Strength I need from day to day. (Phil 4:13)
To cause everything to work together for good for me. (Rom 8:38)
That He has good plans for me, giving me a future and a hope…if I look to Him. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

God didn’t intend for us to spend our life waiting for the next season. Thinking we’ll be happier…when winter has passed, when the spring rain ends, when the summer humidity subsides, when the fall foliage displays every color, when yet another harsh winter passes, starting the cycle all over again.

Or maybe we’ll be happier…when we graduate, when we get married, when we have kids, when we land that perfect job, when we get a promotion, when our health is better, when we retire, etc.

Why do we wish our lives away?! Although it’s good to have things to look forward to, it’s good to have goals, it’s not so good to wish THIS day away. God has promised us that He will be with us. He has given us His joy as our strength TODAY.

God only gives us one life to live, let’s enjoy it!! This season will pass…and then, all too quickly, so will the next one. Let’s choose to be thankful in our circumstances TODAY, in this season.

Look around, what are you thankful for today? What moment can you savor a little more? What brings you joy in this season of life? Are your “eyes turned outward” looking for someone who could use your help seeing the beauty of the season they’re in today? Is there someone you could “love on” a little more? =)

“…let the Holy Spirit fill and control you. Then you will sing…making music to the Lord in your hearts. And you will always give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Ephesians 18b-20

Proverbs 15:15b says, “…for the happy heart, life is a continual feast.”