Insecurity

This week we started a study on the book “The Uncommon Woman: Making an Ordinary Life Extraordinary” by Susie Larson. I have read the book before. In fact, I thought it was phenomenal . Now, because we wanted to share it with others, my good friend, Jill, and I are co-facilitating a study at our church.

As I started reading the book again this week I realized that I really, really needed to read it again myself! The first chapter entitled, “Humbly Accepting Acceptance“ really “hit home” all too well. Susie explored the all-too-common battle most of us women face with INSECURITY.

Susie wrote about holy confidence and humble acceptance. She wrote, “Accepting acceptance means having the courage to face your foibles without it diminishing your value. Accepting acceptance means refusing to let other define you, because God already has. Accepting acceptance means cherishing the fact that you’ve been bought with a price, and thus embracing the call to become more and more like Christ every day.”

You know, it seems I go along rather well for a while. I feel rather confidant in who I am in Christ. I feel strong. I feel loved and valued. Then, something happens. Something rises up within me as I deal with the everyday ins and outs of my life…and I start to forget who and whose I am. The reality of my faults and shortcomings takes over. I feel weak. I start focusing on them (on myself) instead of on the One who loves me. Then, as I "pick myself apart", I start worrying about what others think of me as well. I can be my own worst enemy sometimes.

Susie Larson wrote, “The uncommon woman understands her capacity for pettiness, selfishness, and a sinful bent that lead her away from the Almighty. But her thoughts don’t dwell there. No, despite what she knows about herself, she entrusts herself to the One who will shape her into a thing of magnificence.”

So, I asked myself, how can I stand in “holy confidence” and not fall into the sinking sand of insecurity once again? I believe the answer is staying saturated in God’s Word and prayer…reminding myself of who I am in Christ. I can stop and pray right where I am to take those thoughts captive and focus in on the Truth of God‘s Word. I am someone Jesus loves! Although I am nothing without Him, I am everything with Him!

If I’m honest, I can look into the past (even the most recent past) and see that when I am not in God’s Word and prayer like I should be that I find myself most insecure. When I let that time alone with my Lord slide I start to slide to…into the sinking sand of insecurity (not to mention other things). It’s so much harder to get back on track once I’ve let it go than it would have been to just continue what I knew was right all along.

At the end of the chapter Susie Larson poses the question, “Have you ever considered that insecurity is just another form of selfishness? When we doubt our identity, we make choices with ‘me’ in mind. Most of what we do then becomes an effort to rescue our sense of self-worth.”
YIKES! Insecurity is another form of selfishness! When I’m feeling insecure I am focusing on myself rather than on loving God and others. How can I help anyone else or please the Lord if I am dwelling on me, me, me?!

As I read this and contemplated what it meant I couldn’t help, but think of the words of John the Baptist who said of Jesus, “He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less.” (John 3:30)

Oh, Lord, I want more of You and less of me! Help me to believe in who I am in You!